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Sex dream causing relationship problems


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Been with my partner for nearly 2year living together for just over a year, Iv known him 6years aswell, but in our relationship Iv had to sex dreams (which I don't remember at all) but Iv woken up in the morning and he went mad at me the first time and didn't talk to me for ages, went through my phone ect. When he finally told me what happend and why he's so angry with me he stated "you said another someone else's name (my friend) while pushing up agents me". I tried to explain I have no control over it, and that's it's just a symbol for something but as I have know clue of the dream happening I can't understand it fully myself I'm not attracted to the person at all. But lastnight I got woken up early hours in morning with him turning on the bedroom light and going into the front room, I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't say anything, so I just sat in bed the rest of the night wondering what I had done wrong, I offered to go on the sofa as I have been known to punch and kick in my sleep I fort I woke him up cause I hurt him, by time it was morning I went in to wake him up for work and he was just being really spiteful towards me telling me to go whoever I want and that should get tested ect and that he wanted me to leave and didn't want me to look at him I had know idea what I done still at this point. I just went back in the bedroom and cried as I felt confused and hurt (feel like it's over) as he's saying he don't ever wante to touch him or anything after 3 hours of me asking why what happened and taking abuse about everything about me even down to my genral apperence with/without makeup and know matter what I wear he tells me I said another male friend of mine names lastnight and it woke him up, and once again I don't remember I never really remember any dream. But am I saying it or just mumbling in my sleep as I sleep talk a lot, and he's hearing me say a name as it's twice in over a year and I only say it once from what he's says. And now he won't even leave the front room unless it's to dig.

What can I do to fix this and stop it happening

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Obviously he is being dumb about this whole situation, because you have no control over your dreams. Just because you dream it, doesn't mean it has happened or that you want it to happen.


I guarantee your partner has had some pretty messed up dreams in his lifetime, so you could always use that argument as well to convince him that people have no control over their dreams.


In terms of preventing it... google is your friend.

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91X (must be from San diego) Dreams dont mean a thing, they are random impulses that the frontal lobe tries to arrange in some order and you get dreams. I have very vivid dreams but I dont try to decode them or find meaning. Anyway.. even if you tell them dreams dont mean anything, he wont believe you. In fact, I think nothing you say will make him change his views. He probably thinks you are cheating and sometimes, not all the time, its the accuser that is cheating and they are justifying it by convincing themselve that you are just as guilty. I digress.


I think you should suggest couples counseling. I dont think he will listen to you, but he might listen to a professional and his/her opinion. And it would help clear the air and get other issues out in the open. Dont try to fight him, come up with ways to resolve them.

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So basically your so called partner screamed utter abuse at you for 3 hours because he was woken up by you rambling nonsense in your sleep. Yes, it's as simple and as absurd as it looks.


What you do about this is sit his azz down and tell him that either he gets counseling for his severe issues or you are packing his sh$t and kicking him out of your life. This is a moment where you find your spine and stand tall and tell him bluntly that his crazy, abusive behavior will not fly with you and mean it. If you don't, you are teaching him that he can be as abusive to you as he wants over whatever completely absurd excuse he can find and you will keep sticking around for more. Don't do that to yourself.

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Go to a doctor to have this checked out it could be neurological or psychological etc. He's acting ignorant, blaming you for unconscious behavior.


It sounds like this is one of many problems since moving in, no? How is your sex life and who's name is it you are supposedly calling out?

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