The woman who cuts my hair messaged me on a dating app

[Krankor]

So, I like to keep my hair really short and so I go get it cut about every 3-4 weeks. I go to a not fancy but decent walk-in place. About a third of the time this certain woman who as it turns out is 38 (I'm 40) ends up cutting my hair. We usually make small talk, of course. The last time she cut my hair was maybe about a month ago. Over the course of the conversation I mentioned how I was newly single again (it came up naturally, I wasn't dropping a hint) and she talked about her boyfriend, how he's a chef so she gets some nice meals and he gets free haircuts. I almost took her mentioning a boyfriend as a "just in case you mentioned being single for a reason, I have a boyfriend" thing. If that was the case, she got the wrong idea.

 

She's a nice lady. But I'm not at all attracted to her.

 

So I've been on this dating app off and on since my last girlfriend broke up with me. I took my profile down a couple of weeks ago but put it back up yesterday. Earlier today the woman I've been speaking of--who as it turns out is on the same app--messaged me. She just said "Hey there" with a winking emoticon. I haven't responded.

 

I'm fairly sure she recognized me. She sees me somewhat often, I have pictures on my profile, and I list my occupation which is pretty distinctive.

 

I didn't respond. Like I say, she's a nice person and I'm flattered and all but I have zero romantic interest in her. But since I quasi know her I wonder if I should respond. I'm just not sure what to say.

 

And if I don't how should I handle it if she cuts my hair again? Just ignore it and act natural?

[nutbrownhare]

She just said "Hey there" with a winking emoticon

 

It just sounds as though she was acknowledging you - especially with that wink. The fact that she didn't write anything more suggests that she's not pursuing anything romantically either.

 

When she cuts your hair next, just carry on as usual. There's no need to respond to the message, unless it's merely to say 'Hi!'

[Wiseman2]

What can we say Krankor, you're a chick magnet. It's not weird you're on dating apps single and all but what is she doing on there after the bf talk no less sending you winks?

 

Don't respond. Yes act like it never happened. Next time you get a haircut, tell her you're 'talking to someone', so she gets the message.

she talked about her boyfriend, how he's a chef so she gets some nice meals and he gets free haircuts. I'm not at all attracted to her. Earlier today the woman I've been speaking of--who as it turns out is on the same app--messaged me. She just said "Hey there" with a winking emoticon. I haven't responded.Just ignore it and act natural?

[Krankor]

It just sounds as though she was acknowledging you - especially with that wink. The fact that she didn't write anything more suggests that she's not pursuing anything romantically either.

 

When she cuts your hair next, just carry on as usual. There's no need to respond to the message, unless it's merely to say 'Hi!'

For some reason when I get messaged, the woman usually says "hi" or "hi there" or something like that with a wink.

 

I thought maybe she just was acknowledging me. The only thing is I figured that just to keep me from getting the wrong idea she would add something like "you're on here too huh? Good luck. See you next time you stop in" or something. But who knows? Maybe she thought it was obvious she was just acknowledging me.

[Krankor]

What can we say Krankor, you're a chick magnet. It's not weird you're on dating apps single and all but what is she doing on there after the bf talk no less sending you winks?

 

Don't respond. Yes act like it never happened. Next time you get a haircut, tell her you're 'talking to someone', so she gets the message.

Yeah, I don't think she was making up the boyfriend. She went into too many details about him and it just didn't seem as if she were lying.

 

Either they broke up or she's cheating--or trying to, anyway. Or just never took down her profile and still checks in. So yeah, cheating...

[Wiseman2]

Unattractive and cheats and sends winks to clients. What a catch. Go for it!

Either they broke up or she's cheating--or trying to, anyway. Or just never took down her profile and still checks in. So yeah, cheating...

[Krankor]

Unattractive and cheats and sends winks to clients. What a catch. Go for it!

Lol. Well in fairness we don't know that. Maybe they broke up since we last talked.

[Wiseman2]

I think she dumped him when you told her you were single so she could go after you. Did she know you were on that particular app?

Lol. Well in fairness we don't know that. Maybe they broke up since we last talked.

[Krankor]

I think she dumped him when you told her you were single so she could go after you. Did she know you were on that particular app?

Not at all. Maybe nutbrownhare is right. It is weird that she's on the app but she's never acted flirty toward me at all--just friendly.

[Wiseman2]

Come on, she wants you and you both know it. is weird that she's on the app but she's never acted flirty toward me at all--just friendly.

[SherrySher]

Krankor get's women and doesn't even try..woot!

 

Yeah, I agree with Wiseman, just leave it. Nothing good can come out of messaging back if you're not interested. Saying hi back on a dating site is not the same as saying hi while passing on the street.

[limichelle]

That's odd that she would acknowledge you on the dating site since you are on one of her clients. Doesn't that cross some work ethic boundary? It would be different if you approached her I'm sure. I would just say hi back because I'm sure she can read you read it. Just a simple hi. Then if she tries to engage in further conversation. Just be honest and tell her you enjoy getting your hair cut by her but you aren't interested.

 

Lisa

[johnnydanger]

Next time she cuts your hair or shampoos you and does a close up boob press, you know why.

 

I think the drama at that salon is going to heat up big time.

[ParisPaulette]

Oh man, that's awkward. Another one here for the "let's pretend this did NOT happen." She will hopefully get the hint. Or maybe a "How's your boyfriend?" if she messages you again, but then that might encourage her more...mmm, yeah I'd probably just find another place to get my hair cut.

 

I am totally clueless what to do in these cases. Sorry, I'm stumped for once.

[chitown9]

Well, I would do that sort of thing just to say I saw you on there. It is curious as to why she is on there being that she has a boyfriend. chi

[nutbrownhare]

Well, I would do that sort of thing just to say I saw you on there. It is curious as to why she is on there being that she has a boyfriend. chi

 

Yes, I think this quick wink is being blown up out of all proportion! It could just be to say that she knows he knows she's on there looking around, which may or may not be a bit naughty...

[Sportster2005]

I think it would make it awkward to respond. Say nothing, she should get the hint.

[Wiseman2]

Agree. If you respond, it could seem like you are flirting back.

 

Whats the worst that could happen? She dyes your hair pink? think it would make it awkward to respond. Say nothing, she should get the hint.

[James516]

DO NOT RESPOND. You know full well that women don't just say hi on a dating app, especially with as you said, she didn't make it a clear one-time statement. She could be playing with you for her own ego, bored with her relationship only enough to be typing out quick messages to guys for her own ego, or actually fishing for more. Either way, who cares, you aren't interested. The best thing to do is to ignore it so you can get your haircut peacefully without hair salon type drama.

[limichelle]

Yeah I agree with the rest now that I think of it. Don't respond! It's really unprofessional of her to even do that. I would switch salons.

 

Lisa

[WithLove]

Man, I wish this happened to me. I'd get free highlights and coloring all the time!

[abitbroken]

I would get my hair cut like normal and don't mention the dating site at all. Pretend it didn't happen.

[reinventmyself]

I guess my take is different. She could easily be flirting just as easily as saying an innocent hello to someone she knows?

 

I think it's a bit more awkward to not respond at the very least, a cordial hello in return. If she takes it further, then just shut it down.

If you don't, next time you see her she could carve her name in the back of your head.

[Wiseman2]

That's right. Think about a scorned woman with shears in her hands. you don't, next time you see her she could carve her name in the back of your head.

[Jibralta]

The only thing is I figured that just to keep me from getting the wrong idea she would add something like "you're on here too huh? Good luck. See you next time you stop in"

 

Actually, why don't you say something along these lines^?

 

"Fancy seeing you here! Good luck. See you in the shop!!"

 

It's "no thanks" and friendly at the same time.