Did I go too fast? Did I mess up?

[LonelyJedi]

Hello,

 

So I just got out of a 5yr relationship with my ex-fiance... at the end of March, long story. If interested, you can read the story HERE.

 

Anyway, a friend of mine suggested that I try out this app called "Bumble". I downloaded it late at night and I began swiping on girls I thought were attractive, close by and shared a majority of interests. I was shocked to see that I matched with a girl who is beyond gorgeous!

 

She started the conversation with a simple "Hello! You seem like you love life, what an amazing feeling! How are you?"

We started talking, but she had long pauses in between her responses though (but it might just me being paranoid).

 

Asked what her interests were, do for fun... etc etc.

 

I asked her if she would like to meet up for coffee or something and get to know each other better... she responded with: "I would like to but maybe not so soon. I'd like to get to know you a little more on here first?"

 

So I said - "No problem - I like talking face-to-face, figured I'd ask anyway So what would you like to know? Ask away!"

Then she said, "What are you on here for?"

 

So I said: "I am here to meet new people and possible get into a long-term relationship. What about you?"

She said: "Same reason. I hate playing games so I was hoping to find the opposite here lol"

 

I said: "Yes, I hate playing games too.. a lot of people want "hookups" or "FWB", but I don't want that.... can't understand how people can do that."

 

I have not gotten a response since then.

 

Starting to worry she lost interest or if she is just busy. I don't know.

 

Thoughts?

[j.man]

I asked her if she would like to meet up for coffee or something and get to know each other better... she responded with: "I would like to but maybe not so soon. I'd like to get to know you a little more on here first?"

Should have just moved on after that.

 

I can understand not wanting an exchange of literally, "Hey, how are you? Coffee?" but you've got to filter out folks who very well may be using online dating as an incredibly easy attention fix. Hard to tell whether you failed to fulfill her text messaging entertainment needs or, as I mentioned before, you simply fulfilled your purpose in giving her your attention.

 

Also, while I can't qualify it from personal experience, I've heard nothing but terrible about that app.

[DancingFool]

Didn't do anything wrong and it appears that you chatted long enough to request a coffee meet. If she was all that serious about it, she would have agreed and gone and met you.

 

Personally, I learned quickly with OLD to ruthlessly weed out anyone who wants to drag their feet about a quick face to face meet and greet. Either they have issues or they are just trolling and wasting your time. Refusing to entertain that saved me a lot of headaches, wasted time, and kept assorted scammers away too. All the people I did meet were good people even if chemistry is hard to find. At least the meets/dates were nice and fun.

[Careerchoice]

She may be busy and will eventually get back to you. Calm down about it. If she doesn't get back to you in a couple days, send her another message. One thing I notice is that your texts aren't very playful or fun. They're very serious. And shooting for another long term relationship like that is a lot to throw at someone. How about you just have a goal of meeting new people without anything else on top of it. Dating shouldn't be so heavy at first.

[Careerchoice]

Personally, I learned quickly with OLD to ruthlessly weed out anyone who wants to drag their feet about a quick face to face meet and greet. Either they have issues or they are just trolling and wasting your time. Refusing to entertain that saved me a lot of headaches, wasted time, and kept assorted scammers away too. All the people I did meet were good people even if chemistry is hard to find. At least the meets/dates were nice and fun.

 

Dating from a man's point of view and woman's point of view are VERY different things lol.

[Wiseman2]

She sounds a little flaky and burnt out with 'so why are you on here?'.

 

It sounds like she's hiding something like doesn't resemble her pics or wants a pen pal. Yeah lay back if she responds ok, if not oh well, next.

[fabact]

people on dating apps are really flakey. no you did not move too fast. I met my current bf on bumble and he asked me for a drink pretty early on in the conversation. you have to wonder when they postpone getting together. I at least try to get on the phone rather than continue on text. texting is just lame for getting to know someone.