Pishposhuk Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 Hi all, My boyfriend of 18 months just told me he needs to be "as he is" for now. I should add I am 32 and he is 52. Ours is a very complicated relationship. The first six months were amazing - we quickly fell in love and were spending pretty much every day together. He took me to Poland for my birthday and everything was great. Then one night, on a night where I got sooooo drunk I blacked out, I snogged his best friend in friend in front of him. Even now I have no memory of this event. Obviously he dumped me but somehow, and after a lot of grovelling, he let me back in and i promised not to get that drunk again. He stopped telling me he loved me though. However, last summer, at a party, I blacked-out again. I didn't do anything but it reminded him of that night 6 months earlier. We broke up again. No contact and six weeks later, on holiday, I texted him by accident which ended in us meeting up - when we did, it was wonderful. We started seeing each other regularly and this time he would regularly tell me he loves me. But, again, at Christmas I got far too drunk and got lost. He was on the phone to me the entire time guiding me home but the next day he told me it was over. That when I get "incapable" drunk it makes him insecure and he is too old to be dealing with these kind of emotions. We tried to be friends but it didn't work so I cut him from my life. After 6 weeks of no contact he sent me an emoji text. I got the wrong idea and he got angry with me and I told him to delete my number. It felt final. Another 6 weeks later he starts ringing me and sent me a LinkedIn message. When we started talking he told me he wants to be friends. He said his feelings for me have gone. We arranged to go for a bike ride and text on and off in between. The bike ride was lovely. We laughed and chatted the entire time. But without the hand-holding and kissing it felt like it was missing something. Fast-forward one week and he calls me from Wales, where he was spending the weekend. He was drunk and told me he wished I was with him and told me he loves me. The next day he found out his good mate had suddenly died, and the day after that that his mum had cancer. We had arranged to meet the next weekend but I said if he wanted to cancel I'd understand as he has a lot going on. He said he still wanted to see me. I saw him that weekend and he was sweet and lovely and we agreed to take things slowly and start dating. We cuddled but didn't have sex. Unbeknown to me, the next day he lost his job. I thought it was odd I hadn't heard anything from him. When I text him I asked him if our day out had freaked he said it hadn't but he said "I need to be as I am" until the stress dies down but doesn't know when that will be. I freaked out and started to question our relationship - I couldn't believe that I was losing him after getting him back. This made him angry and said he couldn't handle my emotional stress as well as his so we should move on. So it went from needing space to a complete break-up. I can see my reaction was bad. I should've been more considerate of everything he has going on but in those immediate instants after he said he basically can't do me and him right now I freaked out. I felt like he didn't care about me. I made him so angry he blocked on whatsapp. I love him so much I don't know what to do. I feel I should apologise with a letter and tell him I'm here for him. I don't know what to do! I want to know that he loves me and forgive me. Any advice? Link to comment
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