I feel worthless after a one night stand

[DavisMakayla]

After ending a long term relationship a couple of weeks ago, I decided to go out and meet other people. I ended up meeting a very good looking guy! We hit it off, and made plans to hang out again. A few weeks later we had dinner. One thing lead to another and we slept together. I went home immediately after. It's been a week and I haven't heard from him. Prior to us sleeping together we would text very often during the day, and speak on the telephone all night.

 

I feel so used, worthless, disgusting and just complete disappointment in myself. I can't even be upset with him or blame him in any way because it was consensual, and he never mentioned wanting a relationship, but I at the very least thought he'd try to say "Hello," or something by now.

 

How can I forget this, and not be afraid that I'm too ugly to be loved again?

[used2blue]

Sorry you are feeling this way.

Attractive, worthy of love , and one night stands don't have much in common or intersect on a ven diagram.

We are all worthy of love. Accept the action and forgive yourself.

Learn from this and move past it.

[nutbrownhare]

It's a pity you equate being single, and having a one-night stand with someone who really wasn't worth it, with being "too ugly to be loved again".

 

Have I read your post right... you ended a long term relationship a couple of weeks ago, but that it was a few weeks between meeting a very good-looking guy and having dinner with him. Does this mean there was an overlap between you meeting this guy and ending your relationship?

 

Whatever... it's still very early days since your relationship ended, and you can't possibly have finished grieving from it or learning the lessons from it. Give yourself a bit of space to learn to love yourself first of all - even if you ended the relationship, it can still have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem - and don't focus on finding someone new.

 

And, incidentally, if you go to bed with someone with the intention of going home on your own immediately afterwards... maybe, just maybe, this is someone you shouldn't be going to bed with in the first place...

[SherrySher]

Forgive yourself and learn the lesson.

People will use you if you let them.

Sex is not worth it if it's used cheaply and rushed. Allow yourself to move past this and not make the same mistake in the future.

[Lisii]

Something I read today that might be relivant : - "Don't rush anything, Good people end up with good people"

 

Forgive yourself, you are recently out of a long relationship, and I'm guessing craving the need to feel loved and admired. (A lot of us have been in similar positions).

 

Hold your head up high, you are beautiful and worthy, take it slow, go have fun, find out who you are again..

[WombatShadow]

I'm going to take a slightly different stance here:

 

You left immediately after having sex. Did you at least, I dunno, cuddle with him or something? Did you stay and chat? Or was it more like you threw your clothes on and skedaddled? Have you reached out to him?

 

The reason I ask is that he might be having similar feelings on his side of things. He's been talking to this person who seems really cool. They have a great dinner and then go home and proceed to have awesome sex. Then his newfound friend abruptly leaves. He feels sad, maybe a little unworthy because his new friend just left after sex and said nothing afterwards.

 

If you're interested in this dude, why don't you reach out to him? He may not be interested (and at least you'll know!), or he may actually be interested (in which case--awesome!). Either way, you might want to take things a little slower until you get properly over your ex.

[Lisii]

I'm going to take a slightly different stance here:

 

You left immediately after having sex. Did you at least, I dunno, cuddle with him or something? Did you stay and chat? Or was it more like you threw your clothes on and skedaddled? Have you reached out to him?

.

 

Good point too...

[mbee]

I'd say it's way too early to be dating and sleeping with someone, especially if you feel this way after having sex. However, if you think this guy is worth it, feel free to text him and ask how he's doing. It's possible he got mixed signals when you left immediately afterwards.

 

Regardless I do think it's very early. Deal with your pain and know that your feelings are normal. Many of us, after a breakup, go through negative feelings such as wondering if we are worthy of love. It's okay. Deal with those feelings. However, protect yourself and your heart. Avoid sleeping with someone if you think there's any risk it will hurt you tremendously. Take things slow, get to know people (platonically and romantically), have fun and remember you don't need to rush your recovery process. The recovery process will be bumpy and you may feel disappointed at times, but it's normal. We all go through it. You aren't alone. Just remember that this one circumstance doesn't reflect on how worthy you are. Focus on building yourself up first and allow things to fall into place.

[Matt3939]

Probably just the wrong guy. If you give it up people will most likely take it. I wouldn't say you are ugly at all in this situation. It was just the wrong person. After a long relationship sometimes we look for reassurance that we are still desirable. If you don't want random hookups slow things down if they are moving to fast. Good luck