Mamad234 Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Hi guys, I dated a girl from my college for 3 years. I treated her like a princess and past few months we were doing LDR. I had to breakup with her because not sure where I was going to be going for grad school whilst she was planning to go home after PA school this August. We have been broken up the past two months and couple of weeks ago after a month I wrote a letter to give her a proper closure. However, last Monday was my birthday and she never wished me a happy birthday. Is this because she's hurt and is trying to heal? I know no communcation is the best route for us. I just wanted to know your thoughts. Thanks, Mamad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 It's because you dumped her and she is trying to move on, and has apparently been implementing No Contact. Also, I'm not sure what you said in your letter, but perhaps she didn't appreciate the gesture. Sometimes getting unsolicited contact from the dumper stings and sets back any healing that had been done. May I ask what prompted you to try to give her closure? It seems a tad presumptuous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamad234 Posted May 14, 2017 Author Share Posted May 14, 2017 I just wished her the best and if she ever wanted to talk about anything she can contact me anytime. I just wanted to clear the air with her. She replied back thanking me for the letter and the gift I send to her family. It was just out of good gesture from my part. I wanted to clear the air. This happened roughly 3 weeks ago. Yes, she needs to heal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krankor Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 You dumped her, dude. She doesn't owe you a "happy birthday." If you don't want to try to get back together with her at this point best to just leave her be and let her get on with her life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamad234 Posted May 14, 2017 Author Share Posted May 14, 2017 Will do that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Agreed with Krankor. You said your piece, she received it well but she's not going to remain in your life anymore. Thus, no Happy Birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight925 Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 You broke up with her, then you poured salt on the wound with a letter confirming the breakup, but you're upset that she didn't wish you Happy Birthday? Are you kidding me? Sorry, but she owes you zero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annia Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Why would she? She's implementing NC and trying to heal and move on. So that's only reasonable that she doesn't contact you, even on your birthday. It's not like you're friends, at the moment that's not possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamad234 Posted May 14, 2017 Author Share Posted May 14, 2017 Yes, I hope we can remain friends in few months. I just thought she would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krankor Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 OP, this is an honest question, not an accusation, but are you hoping to kind of keep her "on the hook" so to speak? Or maybe having second thoughts on the break up seeing her seemingly moving on with her life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 You dump her and then want her to say "Happy Birthday" I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamad234 Posted May 14, 2017 Author Share Posted May 14, 2017 I think right now with our situation it is best to be apart because of work/school. Didnt want to tell her if she wanted to remain friends because we both need to heal. Maybe down the road we might crosspaths so to speak. If that makes sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamad234 Posted May 14, 2017 Author Share Posted May 14, 2017 I think right now with our situation it is best to be apart because of work/school. Didnt want to tell her if she wanted to remain friends because we both need to heal. Maybe down the road we might crosspaths so to speak. If that makes sense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oap81 Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Dude just move on. You left her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Dumping someone, whilst assuming they'll want to stay friends in case you meet them at some point in the future, is the bit that doesn't make any sense. She is her own person, and will deal with things in her own way. She owes you nothing. Sending her a letter to give her 'closure' - which she hadn't asked for in the first place - would likely have hurt her as much as the dumping. Leave her alone from now on, and remember that other people aren't there to fulfil your needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 You dumped her. She's an EX. She moved on. No longer owes you birthday wishes. Now time for YOU to let it go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally1194 Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 I'm not really sure why you were expecting a happy birthday wish from her. If it hurts, you didn't receive one then why did you break up with her. You broke up with her and she has to move on. By wishing you a happy birthday she is still in contact with you and it will make it harder for her to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBC2000 Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 You can't break up with someone and expect them to still come around looking for you. She is trying to heal herself, so leave her be. You made this decision so you have to live with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbee Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 Yes, agreed. My birthday was 3 days ago. My ex broke up with me over 3 months ago. I was a tiny bit down I hadn't received any happy birthday messages from him (we are Facebook friends and he dumped me). Then I remembered he's an ex and I can't expect these things from him. I went to a party for my birthday and saw him there. We talked for the first time. All his friends wished me happy birthday. However, my ex did not. He even went ahead and said, "oh it's your birthday? Happy birthday." I knew he was trying to come across like he didn't care, but again, I didn't let it get me down because I remembered he's an ex and just trying to keep his distance. Again, he dumped me. Since you dumped her, it really doesn't make sense why you'd expect her to wish you a happy birthday. Time to move on and accept that when you dump someone there's a consequence that she may never remain in your life ever again, in any way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilioe Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 May be she is dating another guy, and she no longer cares about you. Don't be sensitive Sometimes ladies r like glass, sometimes they r so tough. But be sure that those who fly solo have the strongest wings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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