Start from the beginning?!

[CowSaysMoo]

Hello, I am 15 years old.

 

At the beginning of the school year I was acting unnatural and talked to one girl (let's call her Anna) in my class that I never did before. She thought I loved her/had a crush on her, when I did not. She told one of her friends (let's call her Mary) about it, and then Mary asked me if I love Anna in front of a class when everyone was looking at me. I hesitated and let out one awkward "no", so Mary took it as as yes because of the way I answered it with repellance.

 

Since then, I became scared of looking Anna into her eyes. I can never make eye contact with her. I can't fight it, my body rejects her eye contact as a threat.

 

Paradoxically, I actually fell in love with Anna after what happened in front of the class with Mary. Now even more I reject her eye contact and behave uncomfortably

 

I am not kidding when I say how her eye contact feels like a serious top-priority life threat to me now. She senses it. How to fix this?

[Wiseman2]

Are you afraid of her? Diffuse it by smiling, making small talk, etc. She has no magical power over you.

I actually fell in love with Anna after what happened in front of the class with Mary.

[CowSaysMoo]

This does work but only for short eye contact. But what if I stand somewhere by the wall waiting for something, and then she comes right in front of me waiting by the same wall. This happened at least 5 times. And in those situations it is very uncomfortable. I try to not look at her, but it of course looks awkward.

[Wiseman2]

Why are you ignoring her if you "love her"? Smile, chat, be confident, don't hide and cower.

I try to not look at her, but it of course looks awkward.

[Johnnie]

I think you gotta get it straight with her. Work up some courage and ask her for one-one-one talk. You can admit you love her but do keep your dignity.

I see no point in torturing oneself. I know it's hard but if keep bottling it up it may have a serious impact on your emotional state.

Have you got an elder experienced friend?

[CowSaysMoo]

I don't have an older experienced friend.

 

Would a walk work for a one-on-one conversation? Should I text her for a while first because I never talked to her by longer sentences before?