emily007 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 7 year relationship with a controlling, alpha-male emotional oppressor and abuser. Finally got the strength to move out 2 weeks ago. He keeps emailing me about how much he loves me, and how he's now finally wanting to work on things... and similar bull. I have drafted this email and want to send it so badly, but is there a point? Is it just as abusive as he has been to me all these years? "It actually makes me really sad to hear that you are now willing to work on the relationship. Ive been patient for so many years, being a prisoner of your disease and waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. Instead I got oppressed and belittled, and it turns out I am actually pretty ed up because of it. Every day that passes makes me realize how deeply not okay I am. I accepted inhumane treatment from you, and thus I feel less than, like a child or a leper. You made sure to make me feel worthless, and even though I knew I was worth emeralds and rubies, and so much more, and so so much more than you. I thought your cruelty would not penetrate into my soul; it most certainly has. The stones are dull and I will need a long time to polish them to their previous sparkly state. I am glad you are going to therapy. Someone like you should not be allowed to not go to therapy. I am not a therapist, or a caretaker, or a punching bag, or a buoy, but you are angry, insecure, a bully, and really quite a small person to be able to actively and willingly dismantle the scaffolding of another person. Therapy is for you to work on you, not on the relationship. You broke the relationship because you are broken, and you also broke me." Link to comment
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