facebook concern - is this a yellow flag?

[Loveart]

So my bf seems to accept friend requests from random women. Not sure if he is naïve or just curious. I haven't said anything since I don't want him to think I am keeping tabs on him, etc. We are friends so it will pop up in my feed and I see it. This latest one looks like a fake account/scammer. A much younger girl and it just doesn't look like a real profile. Would you say something? He has told me a couple times about these random people friending him so it's not like he's hiding it.

 

This is the 1st person I have dated where we are friends on facebook. I'm pretty private and haven't even had my account for a very long time.

 

He's acting normal in real life but this bugs me.

[Wiseman2]

But you are keeping tabs and it's backfiring on you. He wouldn't be your fb friend with full access if he were hiding things.

 

Maybe it's time to get more involved in your own life and school and interests and don't spend all day monitoring and wondering about his social media activity..

I don't want him to think I am keeping tabs on him, etc. We are friends so it will pop up in my feed and I see it.

[Annia]

I wouldn't see much into it, but if it's bothering you, you can always talk to him about your concerns (also related to his online safety too) in a non accusatory manner of course. But yes, don't check his online activity nor let yourself get too caught up on that.

[Loveart]

I agree with you both. I guess what I can't get out of my mind is why if you have a gf would you accept a random fb request from another women

Btw, it wound up being fake and removed from fb...

[RomansEmpire]

I agree with you both. I guess what I can't get out of my mind is why if you have a gf would you accept a random fb request from another women

 

Man I hate Facebook; always drama. I wouldn't worry too much about why he accepts random friend requests; maybe he just wants to have 10,000 FB friends. Is it only women he accepts or are those the only ones that bother you?

[Sportster2005]

I agree with you both. I guess what I can't get out of my mind is why if you have a gf would you accept a random fb request from another women

Btw, it wound up being fake and removed from fb...

 

The short answer is, men are allowed to have other female friends.

 

Him accepting obviously fake and inappropriate friend requests speaks to his character and judgement. Consider this when deciding if you really want to stay with him.

[Loveart]

Well he has told me how he gets these requests from women and said one even looked like they were only looking for sex so it's not like he's hiding it. I just wonder if he is being curious? Seems like a lot of scammers target men with fake profiles of women

Yes, we both have friends of the opposite sex so it's not that at all. Personally, if I get a request from someone I don't know I delete it and it's rare that some random male tries to friend me if we have no friends in common. Facebook is annoying and I wasn't even on it until a few years ago...

[Sportster2005]

Well he has told me how he gets these requests from women and said one even looked like they were only looking for sex so it's not like he's hiding it. I just wonder if he is being curious? Seems like a lot of scammers target men with fake profiles of women

Yes, we both have friends of the opposite sex so it's not that at all. Personally, if I get a request from someone I don't know I delete it and it's rare that some random male tries to friend me if we have no friends in common. Facebook is annoying and I wasn't even on it until a few years ago...

 

Have you just outright asked him why he does it? I don't think curiosity is a good answer. Sounds like a cop out I don't think there is a good answer. But it would be interesting to hear is explanation.

 

I get them rarely, and I just block them. There's no good reason to accept them IMHO.

[thealchemist]

In think you should try to help yourself with insecurity issues honestly. I would do that without a second thought. Very well might think it was an old friend but not sure, so just add. He also seems very honest and up front. Control the crazy!

[Sportster2005]

In think you should try to help yourself with insecurity issues honestly. I would do that without a second thought. Very well might think it was an old friend but not sure, so just add. He also seems very honest and up front. Control the crazy!

 

What's crazy? Her boyfriend is demonstrating poor judgement. That and I wish I had a dime for everyone who accuses someone on here of being insecure.

[thealchemist]

I replied the way I did because nothing she has said is a red flag. These things in connection with other activities might paint a bigger picture. As she has stated, nothing else is giving her a bad vibe. I would not have a problem accepting random friend requests. I have found many old childhood friends that I totally forgot about from random accepts. You can dissect any action from your SO enough that it becomes a red flag. I sincerely believe that it seems that she is looking for a problem. I would do what this guy has done. I have also never remotely cheated on anyone I have been with. If any other facts are here that give you a "bad feeling" add them to discussion. Then again, if his behavior bothers you just bring it up in a non accusing way. You have every right to talk about your feelings.

[Batya33]

I would be very concerned about him getting scammed/hacked, etc by letting strangers like that have access to his Facebook. Also might be a yellow or red flag to a potential employer if these FB connections are posting inappropriate comments on his Facebook - or if he replies.

[Wiseman2]

Very true. It's a lot of nonsense and random meaningless garbage.

 

The best thing you can do is go through your own social media read all the FAQ and begin to set your privacy and other settings such as dopey constant notifications every time someone posts that their dog farted, whatever.

 

Manage your online image and who is allowed into your life. In other words....mange it so it doesn't manage you.

Facebook is annoying and I wasn't even on it until a few years ago...

[itsallgrand]

What's crazy? Her boyfriend is demonstrating poor judgement. That and I wish I had a dime for everyone who accuses someone on here of being insecure.

 

I would personally see it as a yellow flag because it shows IMO poor judgment. I'd also be watching as far as the very young girls thing. I'd watch in real life how he handles himself around women and girls. That's smart anyways, but this is a tidbit of info to keep in mind and if you see signs that keep adding up in certain directions as far as his judgment goes.

[Loveart]

Thanks everyone. No, no other behavior is questionable. Yes, will keep this in the back of my mind should I see other things. I really believe he is like the alchemist who would think they may know the person and accept. He has mentioned it to me before and when I ask anything he always answers in a straightforward manor. He seems like a very trusting person so that is where I worry about one of these scammers taking advantage but he is an adult so nothing I can do in that regard.

 

Yes, Wiseman, my fb is pretty well locked down. Friends only see my stuff and I only accept requests from people I know or know of from friends.