Decisions

[Penny ashworth]

Hi there I need to make a decision in my life and wish I had a crystal ball as I'm sure we all do?? Wel i have been in a relationship for 8 years now ! We don't live together due to the fact his children are idle and he lets them get away with everything and was left down yo me and I work 60 to 70 hours a week and my children didn't get on either as they have been bought up differently !!

So there for we supposed to be waiting for all children to move out ! By the way children are 16 to 25 in age ! His don't pay board or food or anything so they not going to rush are they! We both 50 and time moving on!!

I don't need him for money but I worry I have no mortgage and no pension and I no he would look after me in later life!! But it quite a loveless relationship he not affectionate at all but he 150 % trustworthy and will not leave me without !!!

What do I do stop moaning and put up withit??

or be on my own as we only see each once a week any way ? He has his own business by the way and works very hard his kids work for him but take the mick and get away with it totally frustrating !!!

Any advice ???

[Knight2001]

hi,

i can understand you not wanting to live together until the kids have moved out, it is quite sensible. there will have to be a cut off point for this though as my brother, for example, didnt leave my mothers until he was 32, so that could leave you another 16 yrs like this. for example, if your kids moved out, he could move in with you and more or less leave his kids to it and vice a versa.

why do you only see each other once a week? and is this a good foundation for living together?

what is the decision you have to make - is it whether to continue with the relationship? do you love him? look forward to seeing him? miss him when you're not with him? if you dont love him, then the decision is made for you, you have to end this. if you do love him you should talk to him and try to work out how you can spend more time with each other and also establish a time frame for living together if that is what you both want.

good luck

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately your differences won't end when the kids are grown/moved. You don't respect his kids or his parenting and that's a huge problem. Create your own financial security.

 

He will look after his kids, future grand kids not you and your kids. His business his money and his kids are none of your business.

 

See a financial adviser and accountant regarding your finances, retirement, etc. He will protect his assets and business with his kids. You need to prepare for your own future. After 8 years he does not want you moving in, no less getting married or "taking care of you".

 

What does this mean and how does this concern you?: "but take the mick"

8 years now. We don't live together due to the fact his children are idle and he lets them get away with everything. So there for we supposed to be waiting for all children to move out ! By the way children are 16 to 25 in age. it quite a loveless relationship he not affectionate at all but he will not leave me without !!! He has his own business by the way and works very hard his kids work for him