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Next Chapter - Let's Try this again


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So, I'm back again and going to try and stick with my journal. Making this about me and getting myself to where I want to be. I am stagnating. Feel a general unhappiness underneath my "all is good' facade. I am committed to writing daily and making this about moving myself forward toward my goals.I need to focus on priorities and make a plan for me. If those in my life want to support the plan, they are welcome to come along. To the people-pleasing part of my brain this feel harsh, but this is me putting on the oxygen mask first, only then can I be strong for others. I feel past bad habit of putting others first draining me, making me resentful. Here is where I need to ask myself the hard questions. Face them head on. Vomit the ugly thoughts onto the page (screen) and judge them for their veracity. I am amazed at the honesty and compassion that is shared here among strangers, so I welcome all to call me on my [itch in and call me on my BS. I have this one life to live and I'll be damned if I am going to waste it.

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The Cost- an original poem

Gather strength, rise to stand, but for fear of loss subside

Coast is clear, space is safe, no not really just go hide

Laughing yet crying, dismissal accepted in hopes of peace

Need to be heard, growing feelings, but yet I still police

Smart girl, dumb moves, strength given, power lost

Decisions made, time to change, love worth all the cost?

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