Ex Wants my Mobile Number

[BJN31]

Hi everyone,

 

Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago, 4 days later she started a relationship with a 21 year old. It's apparently now Facebook official etc (not sure what that counts for nowadays) I'm 31 she is 26. Last Friday I got a message from a friend who works with her who said my ex asked if she(the friend) had a mobile number for me. I've deleted her off social media and changed my number to try and move on. I'm still quite hurt/angry by the whole affair.

 

My conundrum is why does she want my mobile when she knows my email address? Why are ex's so persistent in trying to know what I'm upto? It could be that she has forgotten something at the flat but as I said - email me. I've pretty much gone what I call 'North Korea - No Contact' I don't post anything on social media nor look at it really anymore. This is probably as you can see more of a rant than a question. Since the break up I've dated - worked hard at the gym got a very well paid new job and I have a tattoo sleeve to die for. It's just the little invasions into my life which I suppose now annoy me. Has anyone gone through the same sort of thing? Like I said, It's probably not a question more of a rant.

 

Cheers

[ParisPaulette]

If she's still with the other guy, and has made no real effort to contact you or apologize or do any amends towards healing the breakup then more likely it's that she wants your mobile, so that whenever the current boyfriend makes her mad or she needs an ego boost she can call you and keep him jealous. Or she wants to make sure you're still backup in case things with the other guy don't work out.

 

Don't give your mobile number out. Keep moving forward and healing and stop a moment and think about this. Do you really want to play backup to someone now with someone else, who thinks it's okay to go after an ex to keep them in a backpocket? She hasn't come to you directly and said she wants you back. She's being kind of sneaky going to a friend, but she and the other guy are not broken up so no, there is zero reason for her to be in contact with you.

 

Yes, I've gone through this. No, no good came of it. It's just they assumed I was so in love with them, they could use me to cheat on the current partner and have the ego boost of knowing I was there as backup.

 

So my vote is to tell your friend, she doesn't get my number unless she's single and has proven she can last without a guy in her life for six months, so I know I'm not just playing backup.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. You did the right thing blocking, deleting her and going no contact, changing your number.Ignore this friend and don't give out your new number. As you stated if it were something urgent appropriate, she would email. How long were you dating? Did she overlap at the end with this guy?

Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago. I'm 31 she is 26. I've deleted her off social media and changed my number to try and move on.

[BJN31]

5 years nearly, I cannot be too sure if she did or not but that's none of my concern. She has made her bed - she has to lie in it.

 

I still care about her, 5 years is a long time to just chalk off. But for me, I've gone complete no contact and will continue so ...

[BJN31]

Thanks for this, I've already said to my friend who has my back completely that she has my email and does not need my mobile number. She may have made an effort to contact me but I changed my number some time ago. I did get a message around Easter saying 'Boy's Suck' at around 2.30am. I then changed my number the next day - I was going too anyway

[melancholy123]

Good for you to change your number and good on you to not give it to her. She doesnt need it.

[BJN31]

Thanks Melancholy123

 

It's really hard don't get me wrong, I still care about her a lot and often think of her but I have to think of what is best for me. I'm still struggling with the idea that someone after that amount of time can move on so quick but I'm so much better than I was. I value myself a lot more - I have a fantastic new job, new apartment, working out etc where the guy she is seeing is still at University working weekends at a garden centre.

 

I'm not comparing by no means but I can hold my head up high and know that I'm a better man and have a lot more to give whoever I meet next should I choose to venture into the lions den anytime soon!

[Wiseman2]

Wow. Idiotic. Sounds like high school.

 

You did the right thing changing the number.

I did get a message around Easter saying 'Boy's Suck' at around 2.30am. I then changed my number the next day

[Dreamfunk]

Stay strong and continue with you.... your doing well mate

[BJN31]

Wow. Idiotic. Sounds like high school.

 

You did the right thing changing the number.

 

I know right? It seems like she has changed - not for the better might I add

[Hollyj]

If she's still with the other guy, and has made no real effort to contact you or apologize or do any amends towards healing the breakup then more likely it's that she wants your mobile, so that whenever the current boyfriend makes her mad or she needs an ego boost she can call you and keep him jealous. Or she wants to make sure you're still backup in case things with the other guy don't work out.

 

Don't give your mobile number out. Keep moving forward and healing and stop a moment and think about this. Do you really want to play backup to someone now with someone else, who thinks it's okay to go after an ex to keep them in a backpocket? She hasn't come to you directly and said she wants you back. She's being kind of sneaky going to a friend, but she and the other guy are not broken up so no, there is zero reason for her to be in contact with you.

 

Yes, I've gone through this. No, no good came of it. It's just they assumed I was so in love with them, they could use me to cheat on the current partner and have the ego boost of knowing I was there as backup.

 

So my vote is to tell your friend, she doesn't get my number unless she's single and has proven she can last without a guy in her life for six months, so I know I'm not just playing backup.

 

I agree!

 

You also need to block her email.

[thealchemist]

She is probably a boyfriend collector or very insecure, or both. No matter the reason, if she can get you on her hook she will. She knows you still care about her and is trying to manipulate you emotionally to keep a bond. One that she will use maliciously. Do not let her hook you. Good luck.