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Jealousy or plain wrong?


mandeelove

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I didn't say I was "staying" with him. I said he texted me numerous times that he wanted to add me to his facebook now and sorry. He sent a friend request from his original fb. In what part of the last post did I say I answered him or staying with him. After this ultimatum he wanted to give me what I wanted. I told u guys theres a questioning and lack of trust there now bcuz of the resistance and time it took him to put me on. So it didnt matter much..I feel he cleaned it up to make it loook peachy. I did not say I was choosing to stay with him.

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You never said that you were done with him! You wouldn't answer our question?????? You still haven't!

 

Who cares about the FB stuff... Just be done with this nonsense.

 

Mandee, why do think so little of yourself to continue with this? Do you enjoy the drama associated?? Other women would not put up with this.

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I'm not continuing with him. I am done with him. I hope that clears up your question. I was sharing to everyone what happened at the end how he was suddenly ready to put me on fb. But theres other red flags and I agree with you all. Its not right how he acted and its also not right how I accepted for almost a year I have to figure that part out now and know better for next time. ( self-exploration)I need to follow my instincts when red flags are blaring.

Either way a break up sucks when u waste your time. In the future I'll know boundaries so I wont waste time.

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Totally agree! I strongly suggest at least six months without any dating.

 

Take this as an epiphany. I did with my last relationship, and am so grateful it happened. I learned a great deal about myself and choices, and never looked back. I am so much stronger and happier.

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And I need to gain back by self respect so as one postersaid, i need to focus all on me.

 

I'm glad you came to that realization. I don't think gaining back self-respect requires just focusing on oneself- in fact that might harm your efforts. You need to interact with other people in all sorts of situations -including dating if you feel like it and practice acting in a way that shows you respect yourself. For example.

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Would anybody be hurt if you find out the man you're exclusive with comments under girl's facebook pictures...calling them beautiful names like pretty, sexy, hot, gorgeous or Miss America etc etc. And quite frequently at that.

 

How would you approach this situation if you've been dating this man for a while and find out it's a habit he's been doing your whole entire relationship?

 

You're obviously hurt by it. He's not going to change his behaviour. You have a decision to make.

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I still advise to focus on you for awhile . You have plenty of time to 'practice' with others.

 

If you were referring to my post I didn't suggest she "practice" with others, I suggested she get into the practice of acting in a self-respecting way - fake it till you make it - I found her post extreme in the "all on me" - she doesn't need to date if she doesn't feel like it but regaining self-respect has a strong component of how you behave in interactions with others -strangers, acquaintances, potential friends, friends, family. And I think the "all on me" can get into self-absorbed/overthinking territory and be unnaturally isolating. Certainly there's a balance and in my opinion the balance to self-respect requires interacting with others in a positive way and learning how to express oneself with self-respect. It's not about "plenty of time" - to me, it's about her goal which is to gain self-respect. If she has interactions with others where she has boundaries that reflect self-respect she'll see, over time, that her sense of self-respect only strengthens.

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