Girlfriend's EX (Sex everyday)

[LaHermes]

Boxing. I am a bit uneasy reading your posts, honestly.

 

"And will I get over this discomfort of kissing her? As I said I catch myself leaning away, and I only peck her lips when she ask now."

 

Does she repel you in some way? I don't know a man who would lean away if asked by a girl to kiss her, not that she should even have to ask!!

 

You ask if she will be thinking of her former man. You know, we can NEVER know what the "other" is thinking, ever. Believe me! Just as well that mind-reading does not exist.

You have no control over what her private thoughts are.

 

As Avy said, your GF was way out of lines giving you the lurid and torrid details of her previous encounters with former BF. Not just out of line but not very classy IMO.

 

And I agree with all of Avy's replies to you.

 

And btw the only way to gain experience is, well, to experience things L.

[hyden]

I don't see you getting over this. You have different core values. Neither yours or hers are wrong, they are just not compatible. At 2 months in, you should end it and look for women that better suit your values. The fact that your head is in a spin and you refrain from kissing her properly are big deals. And I am not sure how her kissing his penis after giving oral is such an issue as oral pretty much required a bit more mouth involvement.

[boxingguy]

NOTICE*****

 

I'm having trouble putting in an EDIT on my original post. So I'm going to just say it here.

 

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYONE. I appreciate every single response, and advice. You have been all very understand and most importantly, real with me.

 

You've all answered my questions in your own way, and now I have much to ponder.

 

Once again, thank you! Thanks in advance to any future individual who replies as well.

[saluk]

Boxing. I am a bit uneasy reading your posts, honestly.

 

"And will I get over this discomfort of kissing her? As I said I catch myself leaning away, and I only peck her lips when she ask now."

 

Does she repel you in some way? I don't know a man who would lean away if asked by a girl to kiss her, not that she should even have to ask!!

 

You ask if she will be thinking of her former man. You know, we can NEVER know what the "other" is thinking, ever. Believe me! Just as well that mind-reading does not exist.

You have no control over what her private thoughts are.

 

As Avy said, your GF was way out of lines giving you the lurid and torrid details of her previous encounters with former BF. Not just out of line but not very classy IMO.

 

And I agree with all of Avy's replies to you.

 

And btw the only way to gain experience is, well, to experience things L.

 

I have to agree with this. I am hard pressed to think of a situation where I would feel repelled by the advances of a woman I was attracted to. I may stop things or pull away if I am bothered by something she did or not wanting to pursue anything, through exercising my own self-control, but it would take effort.

 

Are you attracted to her? Were you attracted to her before she brought up her history? Maybe you have just realized how different each of your pasts is, so you feel a separation. In that case you might do better to find someone with a similar level of experience.

[boxingguy]

I have to agree with this. I am hard pressed to think of a situation where I would feel repelled by the advances of a woman I was attracted to. I may stop things or pull away if I am bothered by something she did or not wanting to pursue anything, through exercising my own self-control, but it would take effort.

 

Are you attracted to her? Were you attracted to her before she brought up her history? Maybe you have just realized how different each of your pasts is, so you feel a separation. In that case you might do better to find someone with a similar level of experience.

 

It's the latter of what you said. I am very attracted to her, still am, but that's just how I've been feeling lately. I do my best to control it and conceal it from her, because I know it will hurt her feelings. She's very emotionally fragile.

 

Earlier post, I said I tried to talk to her about it once but she got very upset. So I haven't spoken about it since.

 

EDIT: Self-control/discipline is something I'm well attuned with. Which is why I don't go around meeting girls at bars to relieve myself like a primitive animals at a watering hole. People seem to have this huge misconception that guys with my values all sudden don't have testosterone raging through their veins and don't feel the need to mate/have sex when they meet an attractive woman. I do, I just control myself. Anyways the kissing situation with my girlfriend however, is definitely not a conscious decision to exercise self-control. It's unintentional.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like if you are up to it, you could gain experience dating her. But don't use her for this if you find her 'too fast' for your tatses. Try not to think of "forever" when just dating.

I would like this to work out between us. I know I am still young and not as experienced. I respect all advice.

[boxingguy]

You think we're at two different tempo? She's going too fast physically, and I'm thinking too fast emotionally?

 

I'm thinking about the future. She's thinking about sex.

It sounds like if you are up to it, you could gain experience dating her. But don't use her for this if you find her 'too fast' for your tatses. Try not to think of "forever" when just dating.

[LaHermes]

Boxing. Future and sex are not incompatible. lol.

[LaHermes]

Listen Boxing. It isn't the "either/or, as in either the "primitive animal" or not even kissing her! You seem to think in extremes. And you pulling back from even giving her a kiss is "unintentional". Strange.

 

Self-control and discipline are terrific, but I still think your core issue is that you fear she will compare and contrast......unfavourably.

[boxingguy]

Listen Boxing. It isn't the "either/or, as in either the "primitive animal" or not even kissing her! You seem to think in extremes. And you pulling back from even giving her a kiss is "unintentional". Strange.

 

Self-control and discipline are terrific, but I still think your core issue is that you fear she will compare and contrast......unfavourably.

You're associating a supporting statement to the wrong point.

 

Primitive animal statement was to support my point about myself knowing how to control my urges (self-control). The point about self-control then correlates over to my main point about how I know that when I leaned away from her, it is unintentional and Not me making an effort to not kiss her.

 

Please don't get it twisted.

 

Your point about fear of comparison, however has been put at an ease by responses from Avy and WithLove already. So the point is moot.

[Wiseman2]

Yes. That sums it up very well. She talks about sex and her ex a lot, no? So that's what's on her mind. If you fear getting hurt because you are looking for long term gf material then go slow or rethink this.

 

What do you think of this video? : You think we're at two different tempo? She's going too fast physically, and I'm thinking too fast emotionally?I'm thinking about the future. She's thinking about sex.

[boxingguy]

@Wiseman2 You're saying I should just date a transsexual since Unicorns don't exist?

[Wiseman2]

I guess so. saying I should just date a transsexual since Unicorns don't exist?

[boxingguy]

@Wiseman2 I appreciate you sharing, it was genuinely entertaining. I had a good laugh. 👍

[boxingguy]

@LaHermes

 

The flow of information in the sentence structure is sound. The nerve you struck is my pet peeve when people misconstrue statements and points.

 

If you failed to understand it, why not ask for clarification? I would have gladly explained. That seems more reasonable then forming a response on what was not comprehended.

 

If anything it seems you are offended (as told by your attempt to insult my integrity through suggestion) by me explaining how a proper point is formed as if we were in the debate class I took.

 

If I offended you, know that was not my intent. I apologize if you feel as such. My need for advice was/is genuine, and I appreciate your attempts and time just as much as everyone else who replied.

 

Edit: I had already apologize below in case I offended her, but fail to see that she had edited her post and further harassed me through passive-aggressive means and so I have taken proper procedures to end it.

[thealchemist]

I'm jumping in a little late but wanted to say some things. I feel like you are very much downgrading the sex component of a relationship. I'm a very sexual person and I like a crazy amount. It is just a huge thing for me and is hardwired into my personality. It sounds like you are dismissing her desires are crude. Crazy wild sex is no less making love than the standard and typical stuff. You even said she did this with an ex but hasn't been with guys since. She is just hurting for it and it sounds like she only likes it with a person she wants intimacy with. That to her is making love. She desires the experience again, not necessarily the guy. If you two can't agree on what is "making love" then you aren't sexually compatible.

[Giblesp]

As the title entails, my girlfriend and her ex (as told by her) had sex every day for the first four month of their relationship and once a week there after (they were together for a little over eight months). Her ex was the only guy she ever had sex with, and the last time she had sex was two years ago after they broke up. Also the guy was packing heat, she said he was quite large. He basically went to town on her, and let's say he hit every major store. Oral, anal, vaginal, etc. The thing that bothered me the most was when she said she would kiss his penis after every blowjob.

 

I myself, however am a virgin. My only sexual experience has been with my ex girlfriend when I was in High School (now 21 and I hold different values compared to then), and that was around a 15 second blowjob and she stopped because we were in a public area. I had a few other close sexual encounters afterward, but I stopped everytime it was going beyond just groping (one girl wanted sex with no condom neither of us had one). I'm a traditional kind of guy (not religious), and would prefer to just reserve "making love" to just that and NOT degrade it to only sexual pleasure. Oh, and I'm average, though my girth is slightly on the thinner side.

 

Anyways my girlfriend says she wants to do all these sexual things with me, however it is not only my character that stops me from letting her, but big portion of it is because it makes me uncomfortable (due to her past).

 

Do women miss their ex sexually?

 

Does she still think about her ex's "quite large" penis?

 

Will she think of him during our sexual interactions?

 

Also she would kiss his penis... after every oral session.. and they had sexual intercourse EVERYDAY for FOUR month. Wow. I haven't kissed her strongly since she told me, just like slight peck now. Very light peck (also I notice I lean away now unintentionally).

 

 

 

*******TLDR, long story short*******

 

I'm a virgin with average Penis but slightly thin girth, girlfriend is not a virgin. She had Sex everyday with ex who had a "quite large" penis for 4 months straight. Her past bothers me, do women think about their ex when with their new boyfriend? Should I just "get over it"?

 

P.S. I only brought it up once with her, but instead of talking about it she got upset and basically made me seem like a villian.

 

Please advise. Thank you very much.

 

 

First off, you know way too much about your partners past. Its really not necessary to know this. You do seem a bit insecure about yourself and thats where the jealousy is coming from. Your about to have one of the best experiences in life, the first time you begin to explore sex. Yet your obsession with the past is blocking that experience in the present.

 

Very soon you also will have a sexual history and along the way you'll come to the conclusion thats there's really no point in sharing explicit details of sexual history, with a new partner.

 

Your first partner is obviously very experienced, why not just let go and enjoy the time you have together...

[Giblesp]

I, being who I am would like to marry her first as a show of commitment and respect, and also now because of her past.

 

 

Looking at this part, if you dont want to have sex before marriage, it might be best to meet someone who also shares that belief.

[boxingguy]

UPDATE!

 

After asking for help and advice, it's only fair to give an update.

 

We have compromised (nothing too sexual). All she asked was to at least see my friend below the waist (when erected) everytime we're together and that is that. Weird request, I know, I don't understand it either.

 

She still tries to seduce me, but only in a playful manner and stops earlier now.

 

Thanks again everyone.

[Quidam]

man the day you jump into this ship you will wonder what made you wait so long lol