Kris7654 Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 Hi all, thanks for reading! I just turned 41 today. This past year and a half was extremely hard on me. First I have lost my business that I invested all my money into. Then I got involved with a histrionic/BPD woman. First, she seemed awesome and loved me more than anything, she was sort of a girl that every guy dreams of. I was cautious in the beginning but she tore my walls down. She also had kids that I loved and knew, and they loved and accepted me as well. Unfortunately she turned out absolutely awful after a few months and did things that I'm still dealing with. I had to move out and moved in with a guy who robbed me blind after two months. I lost everything. I had to come up with something and change careers. I started working as a travelling cat adjuster. Its great money but I'm always on the road alone. It was and still a lot to deal with. By the end of last year I got pretty sick for no apparent reason. I got dizzy a lot, my head was buzzing and my ears were ringing loud. It's been going on for 5 months and doctors could not find anything. In the meantime I had hooked up with this woman again after a hiatus because I still loved her. Looking back that was a really bad mistake. That's when I found out that she lied and lied about everything from the beginning, was cheating on me and was going to swinger parties. Plus a million of smaller things that cut really deep and I think I lost myself somewhere along the way. I completely cut her loose, but now I am at the point that I am still sick and alone. I catch myself thinking about all the lies and pain she caused. She is my first thought in the morning and I don't feel like getting out of bed at all. I know I need to go out more, but I don't want to. I feel tired and sick most of the time. I don't feel like I'm really depressed and I'm not taking any medications but I'm afraid this is about change. I am fighting real hard, and I guess I could use some help!! Thanks!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 Wow sorry all this spiraled out of control like this. You sound like a risk taker. That's a good trait, maybe tweak the risk/reward ratio. The worst is the 2 x 4 in the chest when the truth hits. It gets better. 8-[ Hoping this is a typo 7654;6809718] travelling cat adjuster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anaisnin Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Hey, you really aren't alone. my best advice is, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually you will feel happy again and you will not feel this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skids Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 Depression is insidious and can often snare you without you ever realizing it. You seem to have some classic symptoms of depression, denial possibly being one of them. However, I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist but I have gone through a very serious bout of depression that had me snared for years without my knowledge of it until someone pointed out to me step by step. I also felt ashamed of the fact I was depressed because I had deluded myself into thinking I would never ever let depression take control of me, that I was to tough and nothing simple like depression would effect me. I was so very very wrong, and I'm so very very grateful someone cared enough to help me see the truth of things. I empathize with your pain, and Don't let yourself feel shame for being depressed and seeking help for it. You are going through something traumatic and with time and help you can get past this, or you maybe really aren't depressed and will beat it yourself but there's no harm in talking to someone just in case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mavrik Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Hi Kris I know what your going through as I've recently come out of a histrionic relationship with my now ex. It was a terrible experience and I thought I was getting through it but it threw me into depression. I've never experienced anything like this and hopefully will never do again and I know the intensity such a relationship brings and the aftermath of it all, I therefore looked into this condition a lot and sadly there is nothing you can do to save them and they never change. You had it worse as she exploited you and emotionally abused you. This is a good site re relationships but you may want to look at forums re BPD disorders and post on there as that will give you a better understanding of what occurred and may answer your questions. Sadly however much we care and love, they will destroy it all, they love bomb us at the start and we get attached as it's nothing like what we've had in the past and this person is 'the one', then they turn on you and ruin you, anger, low moods, lies, obsession and abuse. Anything to hurt you then they move onto the next person and it goes on Sadly whatever she said to you as to how great and special you are, she's said if to many before you and will say it to many after you. You will be suffering depression like me and need to see your doctor to see what your options are, mine were meds and counselling. I got to do what I can to move on from this mess. Message me if you wanna talk it all through and I can share what happened also Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mavrik Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 I know what your going through as I've recently come out of a histrionic relationship with my now ex. It was a terrible experience and I thought I was getting through it but it threw me into depression. I've never experienced anything like this and hopefully will never do again and I know the intensity such a relationship brings and the aftermath of it all, I therefore looked into this condition a lot and sadly there is nothing you can do to save them and they never change. You had it worse as she exploited you and emotionally abused you. This is a good site re relationships but you may want to look at forums re BPD disorders and post on there as that will give you a better understanding of what occurred and may answer your questions. Sadly however much we care and love, they will destroy it all, they love bomb us at the start and we get attached as it's nothing like what we've had in the past and this person is 'the one', then they turn on you and ruin you, anger, low moods, lies, obsession and abuse. Anything to hurt you then they move onto the next person and it goes on Sadly whatever she said to you as to how great and special you are, she's said if to many before you and will say it to many after you. You will be suffering depression like me and need to see your doctor to see what your options are, mine were meds and counselling. I got to do what I can to move on from this mess. Message me if you wanna talk it all through and I can share what happened also Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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