Sent letter to ex no reply, how to get him back?

[jadieyo]

Hey this is my first post

 

I ended things with my boyfriend of 2 years last September and have regretted it since. We still speak - always me initiating it, I go to him to problems which he kindly responds. I've helped him with CV and did some work for his family. We met up once and I cried the whole time because all I wanted to do was hold his hand.

 

Inbetween me breaking up with him and now I've had a lot go on with my family - my nan passed away, I met my half sister for the first time at the funeral and ended up falling out with my father for months and watching my parents argue. This was the worst few months of my life with me taking anti-depressants and seeing a therapist. It really has made me realise I don't want to be with anyone else and how safe I always felt with him. It's been a couple of months and I feel like my life is getting back to normal and more settled. Therapy has really made me confront my problems.

 

When we broke up I just ran away from it all and am only now dealing with my feelings. I broke up with him because he had just finished uni and didn't seem interested in a job or learning to drive or anything like that, I've had a job for a few years and just felt like I'd grown up more and was sick of being the one to organise everything or even just drive to see him when he moved back to his parents. Now he's got a job and has learnt to drive and just seemed so grown up, whilst I was a giant cry baby.

 

This was both of our first relationships and I really hurt him. In an anxiety riddled state I sent numerous needy text messages saying I wanted to get back together and was really freaking out.. which definetly has put him off and he thinks I'm only thinking like this because I'm lonely and what's happened the last few months and he doesn't think he could be the same with me again but there is still feelings there. I sent him a letter explaining my feelings when he stopped replying to my texts to meet up, my anxiety and how much I'd love us to get to know each other again because my annoying text messages weren't getting across how serious I am. I just feel awful and can't sleep. I've had no reply to the letter or even know if he's got it. I hope he doesn't think I'm selfish for sending the letter or think that I have made up the anxiety for him to feel sorry for me.

 

 

What can I do? Will it get easier? And why is the no contact so hard?!

Help!

[melancholy123]

Please keep on with your therapy as you seem to really need it. This fellow has moved on from you and you dont want to accept that. Therapy should help you learn to deal with it. Your neediness is probably really annoying him so try to back off. Yes NC is hard, but it's what you need to do.

[JoeyD2000]

Yes unfortunately you need to go NC & detach.

 

Don't regret what you've done. You did it for a reason. You broke up with him when you had him (even though you said he has changed). I'm in a similar position however i've had a few more relationship experiences than you. I don't even like saying this however when I had my ex I know deep down I didn't really want her even though I love her (It probably has got to do with timing/circumsatnces).

 

It's been a month & i'm missing her (I knew I would) though I keep telling myself it's pointless trying to go back to the past. It's Friday & I know i'm going to be hanging out by myself this weekend & i'm pretty sure she is already seeing someone else.

 

This is easy to say & harder to do, I just got to deal with it (for now) time will make it easier as long as I stay no contact. I'm pretty sure you have to do the same.

 

You got to remember it's similar to coming off a drug. You're addicted to each other