cherrytree17 Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 Hi all, normally I wouldn't consider asking advice about this, but I miss my friend terribly and it's quite the torture. I don't know if I should try to contact her again, but I really want to - would you try? Do you think that would be fair/okay? Here's the backstory: We met in school about 5 years ago. She is 12 years my senior, but we became friends immediately - for some reason, we just clicked. She was the opposite of me - very outgoing, extroverted, loud, cheerful. She was incredibly friendly with everyone and made friends everywhere. But when I started spending more time with her, I realised that it was just a front - she had Borderline Personality Disorder and really had no close friends at all, just people she occasionally talked to. Since I also had no close friends, we spent more and more time together, and she became a sort of big sister to me over the years. I lived at her place for about 6 months when I had a falling out with my family, and she helped me get back on my feet. Her mood swings were always extreme, and she was borderline obsessed with her boyfriend, but we had a special bond and stuck with each other through everything. Then one day, I didn't agree with her on something and she stopped talking to me for three months out of nowhere. I had seen this coming and left her alone to cool of, which happened eventually. We went back to being good friends and talking daily. She quit her work and started her driver's license, and I moved into her city with my boyfriend so I could see her more often. We were talking about opening a business together, with another mutual acquaintance. One day, she wanted to concentrate on her final driving lessons and told me to leave her alone for a while to study for her exam - and that's the last I've heard of her. I am still terribly heartbroken over this. She was a part of my family and I miss her company, like whoa. Any tries to contact her have been useless. She changed her phone number, won't open the door and doesn't reply to e-mails. There's been no contact for almost 4 months now and I can't seem to just forget about her. Everyone is telling me to move on and that she's a terrible person who doesn't deserve my friendship. But I know her much better than anyone else and I am worried how she's doing. She has a history of depression, eating disorders, and very wrong priorities, and even though I know she's doing alright and has an income again, I still miss her. She was like my big sister and I want to be a part of her life. But I don't know if it's okay for me to try and contact her again. She purposefully shut me out. Do I have a right to try and talk to her about it? I don't know exactly why she did it, but she used to stop contact with me thinking she was no good for me. I think she viewed me moving in with my boyfriend as a sort of "Now she's in good hands and doesn't need me in her life anymore" kind of thing. But yeah, I don't agree. I want my friend back. Help please? Link to comment
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