My Heart is Sore

[icantdo]

I met this guy over a year ago and it ended up being a long distance relationship. It was amazing when we met up, we were so loved up, but because of the distance we both knew it wasn't ever going to go anywhere. I fell head over heels in love. He seemed to love me too but did not fall as hard as i did. Over time cracks began to appear and we called time. I found the distance too difficult. We both went on to see other people.

 

I moved closer to him and we see each other regularly. We are very cautious about starting up again and he suggested we remain friends. He said he is seeing someone else but they live in a different country and he is unlikely to see them again but says he still likes her and has feelings for her even though he knows it isn't going anywhere. Although I don't want anything serious, I would like to at least have fun, be exclusive and just enjoy each other for a little while.

 

We go out alot. We have been for meals, it definitely feels more friend like than beforen but we feel in a happier place. He introduced me to his Dad, he said he wanted to see his Dads face light up when I arrived, and then on another night met his group of friends. Although he didn't say we were together, he did imply there was something between us. I was the first girl that had been introduced to his family and friends in a very long time so they were all intrigued. He said he likes spending time with me and treats me so well, opens doors for me, sees me when he can, replies to my messages immediately.

 

He came to my house the other night and we cuddled on the sofa. We went to kiss and he couldn't as he said he felt too guilty for the girl he is seeing. later on he kissed me and hugged me like he really cared but I could tell he wasn't very comfortable. He said the relationship with the girl was easy compared to the one he had with me and that they got on really well.

 

I felt bad. He is not going to stop seeing this other person but I don't understand why he is hanging out with me. Is it because I am close by but his heart really resides with her. He wants to keep seeing me but just as friends.

 

Why would he do all of this? Is he scared of being in a relationship and hiding behind this distance relationship as an excuse? He isn't using me as it isn't a physical relationship. Why would he introduce me to everyone if he likes someone else? I am so confused. I respect the boundaries and I am hoping to be good friends and see how it goes but my heart feels like it is breaking a little bit.

[Raggie]

Ask yourself honestly if you can be friends without it hurting you?

 

We can't say why he favours this long distance - it would be pure speculation. It suits his lifestyle, he likes the not being tied to routine, she's fabulous and the love of his life... who knows?

 

Sadly, he has said to you 'no' several times. I suspect he may get lonely and genuinely enjoys the company, but at the moment he gets his cake and gorging on it.

 

For your own self preservation you may need to step away now. Date others yourself and take up some new interests.

 

Take care of yourself.

[Wiseman2]

You are filling a void for him. Why does he tend to go for LDRs then have a local fwbs? It sounds like fun and casual are what he's looking for.