Fourth Date and Downhill

[ClaireDarling]

Hello, everyone.

 

Sorry to keep bugging, but when you can't talk to anyone in real life, the only outlet is this sometimes.

 

After three dates with this guy, we went on a fourth on Thursday. It was supposed to be Wednesday and I got my hopes up but he cancelled because of classes which is fine. But he asked me if we could do it the next day instead.

 

So we did and it was fun and a lot more comfortable this time.

 

Afterwards he said he had one thing to do this weeknd for sure, but to let him know if I'd like to do anything this weekend, so I assumed he'd be open to anything.

 

Friday, I asked him if he'd like to go to the bar with my friend and I and he said maybe and then around 8 I asked him again and he was barely coherent and said he said he didn't know. Got a little upset, but that was fine.

Later at around 10, he messaged me and asked how my night was. I replied a bit dryly and he asked if something was wrong and asked me to please tell him, but I was already out with my friend so I ignored it and he messaged me goodnight anyway. He also mentioned that he didn't want to spend money and that an uber to where e.

 

Later that night in our group message, he kept dropping hints to everyone that we slept together.

 

The next night he was sayin he's definitely coming to my friend's get together. He even asked me earlier in the day if I was doing anything later.

 

Again, around 9pm I messaged him asking him if he'd be coming and again it was an "honestly idk". At this point I was just over it.

 

I told my guy friend about this and he seems to think that this guy is starting to like me, but since he's moving he's trying to take a step back.

 

To me, it just seems like he's indecisive and unreliable.

 

As much as I like(d) him, I don't even think it's worth it anymore. I don't like getting my hopes up two days in a row until like an hour before.

 

Maybe I'm overreacting.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately agree he sounds unreliable an minimally interested. These sound like random last minute hangouts not planned dates, no?

he didn't want to spend money and that an uber. To me, it just seems like he's indecisive and unreliable

[boltnrun]

Isn't this the guy who's moving away and told you that he didn't think trying to date was a good idea?

[ClaireDarling]

Oh, else weren't supposed to be dates these past two days, Wiseman2. These were just hanging out with a group of friends. Not the two of us alone.

 

I asked him on Friday and Saturday because he asked me what was going on those nights. Friday, he said he really wanted to do something and to let him know if I was. Saturday he had something going on up in the day but he told me he was definitely coming to my friend's get together after he asked me again what was happening that night.

 

Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have bothered as much or even been upset.

 

And yes, boltnrun. I know, I know. I figured I'd at least enjoy his company before he left. I'm not trying to date him at this point, but right now I don't even know if I want to continue hanging out.

 

I'm almost certain Friday and Saturday he was drunk out of his mind by 6pm because he would start drinking or "tailgating" by noon. And it's bizarre because I've never seen him drunk. Even when we went to a bar with friends, he drank, but not even enough to be tipsy.

 

I guess I didn't count on the unreliability of that.

 

Either way, things happen for a reason!

[Hollyj]

Why are you always pursuing this guy????

 

Why wasn't this a problem "Later that night in our group message, he kept dropping hints to everyone that we slept together." I would also be off put by the one-sidedness and flakiness.

 

Stop chasing after people.

[ClaireDarling]

I haven't been pursuing since then. I only did because he asked me to let him know both of those nights. I haven't talked to him since then and I don't plan on anymore outings. He's unreliable unless it's his plans.

[ClaireDarling]

I think you think I'm chasing after him and begging him to hang out with me. Four dates and he asked for two and I asked for two. He hinted at a 5th and when I tried to follow through with just hanging out with him and friends, he was too drunk to be able to even come.

I got a little annoyed at that part the most.

 

But I'm not chasing him. I never was. I enjoyed his company and I've never been on a proper date, so this was a first. Now, I'm a little relieved that this happened because there will be no hard feelings when he moves.

[ParisPaulette]

"Later that night in our group message, he kept dropping hints to everyone that we slept together."

 

Anyone who pulls that little stunt, male or female, needs to be dropped like yesterday's bad fish. Seriously, block and delete and move on. You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. (No insult to sows everywhere.) AKA You cannot make someone boyfriend material when they aren't.

[boltnrun]

I think you think I'm chasing after him and begging him to hang out with me. Four dates and he asked for two and I asked for two. He hinted at a 5th and when I tried to follow through with just hanging out with him and friends, he was too drunk to be able to even come.

I got a little annoyed at that part the most.

 

But I'm not chasing him. I never was. I enjoyed his company and I've never been on a proper date, so this was a first. Now, I'm a little relieved that this happened because there will be no hard feelings when he moves.

 

Wait, I'm confused. I thought you were NOT dating him. You said you were just hanging out together. But now you're dating?

[ClaireDarling]

I can't agree with you more, Paulette. I just didn't realize that until the other day. I've also realized that he drinks way more than I initially thought he did.

 

And no, boltnrun. Just an actual date. We're not dating. I mean going to dinner, he pays for it kind of date. I've never had one of those.