Lala6699 Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 I met this guy on Tinder almost a year ago. I know what you are all thinking. "Oh, here we go." Just hear me out... So we have been hanging the entire time. I go to his house every weekend and stay two nights and then go back home and work out my week and then it's back to his place. We hang out, watch TV, he cooks for me, play video games, hang out with his parents and close friends. We basically act as a couple. He told me in the past that we are just friends and that it "could" go somewhere in the future, but he just wasn't ready to be tied down at that moment. So after a few conversations where I told him that I can't do the friends with benefits thing or F buddy thing, we just kept hanging out like normal. He told me that he never meant to make me feel like I was someone to sleep with. He truly values my friendship. Every time I try to walk away, he fights for me to stay. Everything is great when we hang out. We get along and laugh together. We cuddle and tickle each other for hours on end. We have have meaningful conversations. About life, what's going on in his or mine. He tried to teach me to play the guitar. We don't just "do it" to make that clear. I can't help but develop serious feelings for this guy. I have tried to disconnect myself in that way, but it's almost impossible. So why am I here? Reaching out for your help. Lately I have been feeling down about it all. There are things that he does or doesn't do and I'm too afraid to talk about it because I don't want to come off as crazy. So the last two times we have hung out, he has said that we are "dating". It has been in casual conversation. Like last time I was there he said, "you are the first person I have ever dated that has her own place." I am thinking in my head, "dating, huh?" I thought you made it very clear to me that we are not dating... and now you say that... confusing. Other things that bother me. He's best friends with his ex. They dated three years ago. Through high school, but called it quits. Okay. I get that. You guys are close and have been through some things together. She moved a few hours away a few months ago. I felt relief to be honest. The thing is, EVERY TIME we hang out he brings her up at least once. It bothers me. Example: We went to lunch with his parents the other night and they were asking me if I owned a gun. I said that I do because I am single and live alone. I need protection. He says to his parents, "yea, even (her name) has one." I was like, "why??" I felt my insides start twisting up all over themselves. She used to post "soulmate" like things on his FB and I eventually told him that it was bothering me and that if there are still feelings there then he needed to leave me be and be with her. Don't let me get in the way. He said that it's not like that and that they are best friends have each others backs. That's all. So I tried to let it go, but how can I if you talk about her every time we are together? On to the next... Last weekend when I was there... okay... he won't kiss me on the lips unless he's really drunk. When we do the dirty, he never kisses me during. LAst weekend we got drunk and did the dirty and he made out with me the whole time. The next day, nothing. We did it again and this time he didn't kiss me at all. So that night we are laying in his bed cuddling. I have my head on his chest and our faces are right next to each others. I was in the moment and just wanted to kiss him. He saw that my lips were very close to his and he didn't turn his head away. So I went in. I had my hand on the side of his face and kissed him on the lips. He just sat there. Didn't even twitch. So I kissed him again... nothing. He didn't kiss me back. Just sat there stone faced. I pulled back and said, "it's okay, you don't have to kiss me back." He said he wasn't sure if his breath smelt bad. Lame. -_- Seriously? He always gives me a kiss on the cheek when I leave, but never on the lips. I woke up one morning and he had kissed me twice on the lips. Sober. I thought maybe I was safe and we were moving to that. Apparently not. I don't want to keep putting out to a man that doesn't even want to have the intimate kissing from me. It just feels like I'm a field to plow and then we continue hanging out. My feelings were so hurt and still are. This whole week that I have been away from him, it has been slowly eating me up inside. I'm embarrassed to say the least. Part of me wants to say something to him about it, but I don't know how. I just want to tell him that my feelings got hurt and that I feel like I crossed a line and did something he didn't want me to do. On the other hand, can you blame me? The man is throwing me mixed signals. I don't know if I should stay or go. I need help. If you have any questions, please ask. Just someone please give me some advice. I'm so lost right now. Link to comment
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