what should i do?

[dman5652]

I have been talking with this woman for quite awhile now, we origionally met over the internet and things went quite well for a long time then we started talking about me moving to be with her. Well some drama got stirred up and she wound up leaving me for a guy that i have since found out she started talking to for a few days before we actually split up.

 

Shortly after that she came to me and we talked things out and were friends again. Within a week or so of talking she breaks up with the guy she left me for and comes back to me. Yet she still texts him and says she doesnt know why she just cant block him from calling and all then let it go.

 

He had manipulated her mentally and emotionally and even showed me conversation between them and he was being quite a douche , but still she wont stop talking to him. Although she does admit to me when they talk and reads or sends me what was said.

 

So once again we had talked about me heading to be with her , and agreed that as soon as i got my vehicle repaired from a recent issue that i would pack up and head that way. Well suddenly at that point her roommate whos name is also on the lot rent papers and all suddenly decides that my girl and i would not work out and that she didnt need to be with me . however i knew nothing about it until after i got the vehicle fixed.

 

In the time i was working on said vehicle i come back to her sounding really down and upset but said she was fine. She also has started being less affectionate and mumbling i love you as well as not calling me babe or anything similar. She says that she loves me and wants me their but her roommate will make her life a living hell unless she gets things the way she wants, yet its ok for the roommate to make decisions about the house without consulting her for example moving her gf in and such.

 

I asked if the people that own the lot would ok me being there so that her roommate couldnt push things but she immediately said no because her roommate pays the lot rent so they wouldnt do it.

 

She says she wants to be with me and wants me there but doesnt want her rommate to put the house through hell because shes not getting what she wants. also suddenly her almost brand new phone starts having issues and we suddenly cannot talk like we used to yet she fell asleep on the phone last night and it didnt have an issue one with hanging up or anything at all the entire time. Then we hang up and i see where shes talking to someone else that i knew she was friends with but in a place and way that she said would not happen. then a few hours later texts me with hmmmmm and said to remind her to tell me something when she had me call and that nothing was wrong with her or anyone in the house. then havent heard anything yet since then. other than instead of i love you she said love you.

 

So not sure at all whats going on waiting on her phone to charge up is the last i heard.

[rosephase]

It really doesn't sound like she is that in to you. She is showing you texts and e-mails from the other guy? Why? That sounds like se just wants your attention and likes making you jealous and/or protective. Have you guys met?

[dman5652]

well the me going to her each time it was brought up was her ideaand yeah i didnt ask her to show me she just does after telling me she cant lie to me. if she is trying to make me jealous its not working because i look at it this way if someone can take her from me i never really had her to begin with. so far today i havent messaged or anything like usual and shes been instigating the contact

[happyfrank]

Well some drama got stirred up and she wound up leaving me for a guy that i have since found out she started talking to for a few days before we actually split up.

 

I would never accept being somebody's second option. This could happen again. I would move on with my life.

 

Good luck.

[rosephase]

well the me going to her each time it was brought up was her ideaand yeah i didnt ask her to show me she just does after telling me she cant lie to me. if she is trying to make me jealous its not working because i look at it this way if someone can take her from me i never really had her to begin with. so far today i havent messaged or anything like usual and shes been instigating the contact

 

So you never really had her to begin with. Because someone DID take her away from you. Just because she is talking to you again and sharing her woes about this guy who dumped her doesn't mean she is all of a sudden not going to walk away the moment she finds someone she likes more. Have you met in real life?

[dman5652]

have also noticed how she doesnt want me or any of her exes talking to each other either shes made that abundantly clear

[dman5652]

we have not , thats why i was gonna head down to be there and if it did work like we had talked come back and get the rest of my things and totally move in

[rosephase]

we have not , thats why i was gonna head down to be there and if it did work like we had talked come back and get the rest of my things and totally move in

 

You were going to move in with someone you've never met. Wow. No wonder her roommate doesn't like the idea. I thought her roommate just didn't want you to visit and was being controlling. But dude, you would be stupid to let some guy your roommate had never met move in with you. How old are you? How can you possibly be making life choices like this. You don't know her. She dropped you for someone who treated her badly. You don't even know if you are in to her and your planning on moving in? She could be lying to you about everything. And if she isn't lying to you about anything she is still not that in to you and a little crazy. Would you invite someone you hadn't met to move in with you?

[Wiseman2]

She seems to have friendzoned you if she's talking about her dating life and exes this much. Also She doesn't want you moving in and used the roommate excuse. Maybe the "roommate" is the bf. It sounds like she's sort of catfishing you.

 

This is way too risky and she's just stringing you along to have a male-girlfriend to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. Cut off all contact . You never met and you are over-investing.

we have not, thats why i was gonna head down to be there and if it did work like we had talked come back and get the rest of my things and totally move in

[SooSad33]

she wound up leaving me for a guy that i have since found out she started talking to for a few days before we actually split up.

- This. Is she worth it?? Nah.

 

She's still talking to him.. show's her weakness. She's not good.

Believe me.. you don't wanna be called 'babe'.. or hearing anything about LOVE. Cause it's not

 

Honestly?? YOU need to stop this... Back off and get your head on straight.. cause I think you're way over your head here.. jumping the gun and running back to something... Not worth your while.

 

Like I said.. she is not good. Can you actually 'trust' this gal??

 

Stop it all... distance it best. Walk and keep walking.

Even friendship is questionable.

 

Work on getting yourself back together.. let it all go! Get stronger.

[SooSad33]

we have not , thats why i was gonna head down to be there and if it did work like we had talked come back and get the rest of my things and totally move in

 

Wha? Get YOU moved in??? Why?

 

Goodness.. No. You do NOT move yourself in.. with this.. crap. Just don't.

 

Back off.. and THINK HARD ON THIS!

[RainyCoast]

Also She doesn't want you moving in and used the roommate excuse. Maybe the "roommate" is the bf. It sounds like she's sort of catfishing you.

yup, this is it. she wants an internet romance that will never materialize and "stirs up some drama" whenever you're all packed to move.

 

perhaps i misunderstood????, but in case you intend to sneakily bring in your stuff until it's all over her place as if you live there (a.k.a. move yourself in da heck?) then you're coming off as extremely creepy/ weird and if there's been similar behavior on your part before, she may have decided to "stir up drama" to rid herself of an internet weirdo who is only suitable to her as a remote admirer, without mustering the ballz and integrity to dump you properly.

[Wiseman2]

Yep, most first meets are drinks, dinner, coffee, whatever, not moving in. Get YOU moved in??? Why?Goodness.. No. You do NOT move yourself in.. with this.. crap. Just don't.Back off.. and THINK HARD ON THIS!

[RainyCoast]

wait wait, you've never met????

 

whoa man snap out of it.

[Shunsparkle]

Have u actually met this women? Have u sent her money? Too me she sounds awful fishy and sounds like she's taking u for a ride

[dman5652]

i know the roommate is deff a female so its not the boyfriend, stopped reciprocating and she is messaging me trying to get me to delve into whats going on and ask questions and im not and she seems to be getting frustrated and upset so yeah

[RainyCoast]

the roommate has nothing to do with it. this chick is persistently trying to put you off from coming over, like ever.

 

no, seriously, you have to chill with this moving in with a stranger who

 

1. IS TAKING YOU FOR A RIDE

2. DOES NOT WANT YOU TO COME OVER

stuff

 

i actually remember some dude from a fb group years back whom i exchanged three sentences with (NOT flirting, i shared sources i used for an academic project when asked. my three sentences were "of course", "here are the links", "you are welcome") and he started frantically messaging me that i'm the love of his life, my profile pic confirms it (?), he always wanted to live where i live (it's fate) and he's getting a passport and coming to my town, he'll find me and live with me. i forwarded the psychotic rubbish to the group admin (who went ballistic on him) and blocked the guy and that settled it, but it also ended my short stint on fb.

 

that people conjure up the idea they love and should live with someone they've never met and sincerely act and feel as if driven by a legitimate, rational cause never fails to creep the heck out of me.

[SooSad33]

i know the roommate is deff a female so its not the boyfriend, stopped reciprocating and she is messaging me trying to get me to delve into whats going on and ask questions and im not and she seems to be getting frustrated and upset so yeah

 

Frustrated.. upset.. etc.

More reason to walk.. keep walking.

 

Stop this.. seriously.. You'll more than likely end up with deep regrets.. not worth it, at all.

[Iggy5129]

Can you explain to us why you think it's a good idea to uproot your entire life for a complete stranger? That is more concerning to me than any of the stuff she is doing.