So heartbroken

[Hayhay]

Hey guys, I'm 24 and I feel like this is my first heartbreak ever. We had been together just about 2 years and he broke up with me Saturday morning. I can barely sleep, and I haven't been able to eat anything either. I constantly feel like I need to vomit, and can hardly get myself out of bed. I just have no idea what to do, or how this feeling could ever go away. It hurts way too badly.

This man always told me he wanted to marry me, and I planned a lot of my life around him. I've been going through some hard times already, and then he breaks things off with me. I can't stop crying, and it's hard to think there will be a time I won't feel like this anymore. I didn't want the break up, and it's not like anything happened where I can just be angry at him and lessen the blow any.

I'm also very isolated where I am at, we were a LDR so he's in another state, but I also don't really have any friends where I am at either to help me. I've never felt so alone. And I just feel like my whole world is falling apart. Feels like someone ripped out my heart while also hitting me with a semi truck. What do I do?

[LonelyJedi]

I know how you feel. I was together with my ex for 6yrs, since we were 18. I am also 24. My ex-fiance broke up with me last month, exactly to this day. Her reasoning was because I didn't get along with her family (she didn't along with her family either). The next day she became VERY cruel to me and is now engaging in self-destructive behaviors (dropping out of school, drinking with her co-workers excessively, work trips, getting more into debt, etc). All of these behaviors she is doing is what her parents have always wanted her to do. She always promised me that she did not want to become her parents, because they emotionally abused her. As a result, I hated them and it looks like that caused problems in our relationship.

 

To this day, I still feel the same pain that I felt the night she left & moved out of the house we picked out together. I live alone in that house and everything is a constant reminder of what once was. It is like living her ghost in an empty, dark house. All of my friends/family think I'm crazy that I still love her and that I want her back.

 

It gets better, but it is still tough. You just need to do something to distract your mind off of him.

Believe me, I understand what you are going through. I have called the Suicide Prevention line multiple times during my low points & I have been seeing a therapist.

 

What was his reason for breaking up and how has he behaved since the breakup?

I would go NC and try to heal yourself. Since he dumped you, it would make sense for him to contact you first... not you. Let him miss having you around.

 

Good luck with your healing.

[Shunsparkle]

Hey guys, I'm 24 and I feel like this is my first heartbreak ever. We had been together just about 2 years and he broke up with me Saturday morning. I can barely sleep, and I haven't been able to eat anything either. I constantly feel like I need to vomit, and can hardly get myself out of bed. I just have no idea what to do, or how this feeling could ever go away. It hurts way too badly.

This man always told me he wanted to marry me, and I planned a lot of my life around him. I've been going through some hard times already, and then he breaks things off with me. I can't stop crying, and it's hard to think there will be a time I won't feel like this anymore. I didn't want the break up, and it's not like anything happened where I can just be angry at him and lessen the blow any.

I'm also very isolated where I am at, we were a LDR so he's in another state, but I also don't really have any friends where I am at either to help me. I've never felt so alone. And I just feel like my whole world is falling apart. Feels like someone ripped out my heart while also hitting me with a semi truck. What do I do?

 

The first time me and my ex broke up I felt exactly the same as you. Everything hurt and I'm guessing that's what losing a first love is like.

We got back together and broke up again another 2 times and now I actually ended it with him this time.

I wish I had stuck with it the first as I would have been over him by now.

Stick to NC do not beg or plead no matter how hard it is because I did it and I got no respect for it.

Be strong and talk to me if u need help.

Currently on day 4 and this is the longest I have ever gone NC. Proud of myself.

[Hayhay]

He has a lot going on at work, he said he needs time to find himself and figure things out. We were both getting out of divorces when we first met. I've just never felt any type of pain like this before, like it's impossible not to think about it.

[Hayhay]

The first time me and my ex broke up I felt exactly the same as you. Everything hurt and I'm guessing that's what losing a first love is like.

We got back together and broke up again another 2 times and now I actually ended it with him this time.

I wish I had stuck with it the first as I would have been over him by now.

Stick to NC do not beg or plead no matter how hard it is because I did it and I got no respect for it.

Be strong and talk to me if u need help.

Currently on day 4 and this is the longest I have ever gone NC. Proud of myself.

I'm proud of you too! It's not just losing a bf, it's losing a best friend too. He really was my only constant in my life. And it's just killing me right now.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? How long have you been long distance? Did you move away for work?

 

Can you reconnect to friends and family back home? It sounds like a delayed reaction to your divorce since he was your rebound and you met while you were both still married.

 

He may also no longer need a rebound and now wants freedom. "Talking marriage" when you were both still married/in the throes of divorce indicates rebounding and never having processed your divorce. As does "planned my life around him".

I planned a lot of my life around him. I've been going through some hard times already, and then he breaks things off with me. I'm also very isolated where I am at, we were a LDR so he's in another state, but I also don't really have any friends where I am at either to help me.

[Tombo7891]

I was in the same position as you 6 months ago. Have faith that it will get better, however know that you will endure painful days ahead. Don't feel bad about crying, these are your emotions everybody has them when they lose the one they think they will spend the rest of their life with. Call family and friends and talk to them, talk to people on here. Start journaling and let your emotions out. Stay out of contact with him for now, both of your emotions are running high Im sure. It's hard to realize at a time like this but it takes two people to be in a relationship and if he doesn't want to that's his loss.

 

Most of all respect yourself, don't try to fill the void with anything. These feelings are part of what makes us human, Just like the high of falling in love comes the low of losing it. Don't be scared to reach out to people either, there are so many wonderful people in this world that will help you in this time of hurt. You're a beautiful soul and you'll get through this. One second one hour one day at a time.

[SooSad33]

You're dealing with trying to 'accept' your LOSS. and loss is never easy.. we know

 

Sounds like anxiety you're experiencing.. been there. How about going to see a Dr about at least something to help you sleep? Im on lorazapam and melatonin ( at night).

 

It'll take a while to work out your emotions.. and you will go thru stages for a while.

denial, anger, heartache, etc- until you reach acceptance.

 

Just keep trying to pull thru this... work on YOU, to try n get back to good again. ( therapy might help, as does journaling, and even getting out for a walk.. get some air, work out, etc).

 

One day at a time

[Dominique]

I'm sorry u are hurting and I'm sorry for the loss of your relationship.

Take it a day at a time. I spent an entire week in bed after my ex and I broke up. There are days when I still want to just lie in bed all day.

I got very depressed after we broke up. It's still very hard.

Each day try to look for one thing you can do to find a way out. Eat a small meal, shower..... wash your hair..... Post here. These may seem like small things but I went four days without eating. Then I realized that eating wasn't a small thing anymore. I started to count it as an accomplishment if I forced myself to at least eat one meal. Read a book or watch a positive video or funny movie. Call a friend.

Allow yourself to hurt and heal. You can heal. It takes time.

Sending you love and light.