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Getting over my girlfriends' past


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Hello everyone,


I have been with my girlfriend over 3 years. About 6 weeks ago I discovered shocking details about her sexual past. It effected me so badly that I left her twice, but now I'm back living with her again. I'm still really struggling to cope and get what she did out of my head, but because I love her so much I am trying extremely hard to make things work.


The details of her past would not be so shocking if she didn't seem so sweet and innocent. I thought I new her but now I'm wondering if that's the case.


She cheated on an ex she was with for 6 years. She did this twice. Once after 3 years and again towards the end of their relationship. She then dumped him so she could have a 'wild phase' as she puts it.


During this wild phase she had sex with a guy she new was married, and a guy she new had a girlfriend, and an ex who had a new girlfriend at the time.


She also liked to give blowjobs to guys in nightclubs. This happened on 3 or 4 occasions. On one of these occasions she was caught by a bouncer and thrown out.


What I'd like to know is if I'm overreacting to hearing this information. Should I just brush it off and carry on as normal? Can I really trust her now? I never doubted her loyalty before I new this stuff but now I am concerned, especially as she has told me she's fantasised about being with other people.


It would be interesting to know your thoughts.



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Past is in the past. It didn't bother you when you didn't know about and she still is the same person. If she has not given you are reason not to trust her then she is trustworthy. People do things and then they grow up, move on, test limits.


You just have to decide if you can get over it. The past doesnt change. If you feel like you can't trust her or you feel differently about her in a way that you cant get over then you need to move on. You can find someone with a different type of past and she can find someone who doesn't mind her past.

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I always say the past is the past, personally I have abit of a problem with people who cheat and are willing to cheat with others in relationships.


Shows they have/had low morals, but I used the word "had" there because people can change, people are also young and stupid sometimes.

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