How to leave???

[NarcissistWife]

I can't stand confrontation, especially with a possessive individual, but I guess I have to. Actually, it feels empowering to be able to finally tell him how he has hurt me with his destructive ways and I can have closure.

 

I will either be able to move my things alone with the vehicle we share, ha! It is highly unlikely he would let me do so, or I will be on the lawn waiting for my ride to move me and my stuff (probably with him screaming for me to get off "his" lawn, then pleading with me to talk). I will be clear I will call 911 the minute I feel threatened. He does own weapons, so I am leery to wait for a ride while his anger builds.

[SadSadgirl]

I can't stand confrontation, especially with a possessive individual, but I guess I have to. Actually, it feels empowering to be able to finally tell him how he has hurt me with his destructive ways and I can have closure.

 

I will either be able to move my things alone with the vehicle we share, ha! It is highly unlikely he would let me do so, or I will be on the lawn waiting for my ride to move me and my stuff (probably with him screaming for me to get off "his" lawn, then pleading with me to talk). I will be clear I will call 911 the minute I feel threatened. He does own weapons, so I am leery to wait for a ride while his anger builds.

 

if he threatens you, you should file a restraining order.

[chitown9]

I would find someone to help make the move when he is not there, even if I had to hire that person. Craigslist or Facebook. I think it would be worth it to pay someone. chi

[NarcissistWife]

I would find someone to help make the move when he is not there, even if I had to hire that person. Craigslist or Facebook. I think it would be worth it to pay someone. chi

 

I would love to do that, but I do not think I could find someone to move me in the middle of the night. He works third shift. Ugh. My plan is to be packed and outside when he gets home, and let him know if he threatens me, I will call 911. I will take back my control. He can not make me do something I do not want to do. I hate dealing with it this way, but I do not have another choice.

[NarcissistWife]

People do not like to get involved with personal affairs. It's too bad we do not have a nationwide group to reach out to, who have been through the same and pay it forward by helping someone else out of a situation when they have no one to help.

[chitown9]

I would love to do that, but I do not think I could find someone to move me in the middle of the night. He works third shift. Ugh. My plan is to be packed and outside when he gets home, and let him know if he threatens me, I will call 911. I will take back my control. He can not make me do something I do not want to do. I hate dealing with it this way, but I do not have another choice.

 

At least try. But if you will be packed and outside the home a Uber driver could take you anywhere at any time I am just trying to think of every option. chi

[NarcissistWife]

Yes, I thought about an Uber driver. Unsure if they will want to bring me and my stuff, which isn't much, but the drive to where I am going would be at 3 or 4 in the morning and almost an hour drive. Ugh!

[chitown9]

Yes, I thought about an Uber driver. Unsure if they will want to bring me and my stuff, which isn't much, but the drive to where I am going would be at 3 or 4 in the morning and almost an hour drive. Ugh!

 

I know quite a bit about Uber drivers, and I am positive they will do it. They work 24 hours a day and they will help you with your stuff. chi

[NarcissistWife]

Good to know! I do have to wait until Tuesday to have money. Hopefully, there will be money left in the bank. I am sure he will be writing a check for alcohol. He used what was left in the account and not for allergy medicine he said he would buy me. Grrr!

[NarcissistWife]

One more thing. Can you pay an Uber driver in cash? I think I should schedule the ride the night before and hope I can get one. I live in a rural neighborhood. Very worried about not getting a ride.

[chitown9]

Good to know! I do have to wait until Tuesday to have money. Hopefully, there will be money left in the bank. I am sure he will be writing a check for alcohol. He used what was left in the account and not for allergy medicine he said he would buy me. Grrr!

 

Beat him to the bank. At this point, who care if he gets mad. Get an air purifier for your allergies. You will never need medz for allergies again. chi

[NarcissistWife]

What I meant by my post is, instead of buying necessary items, he bought booze instead.

[chitown9]

Since you live in a rural area, I would set it up in advance. I don't know about cash, so I would ask. I know they use credit cards, but don't know about cash. chi

[NarcissistWife]

Ok. Thanks. I will look into it. I'm sorry, I am thinking out loud on here, weighing my options. I can leave Tuesday with cash, but if I have to set up and pay in advance, I will have to wait for the money to hit the bank on Tuesday, set up a driver and leave Wednesday. I just know if I wait until Wednesday, there will be hardly any money left in the account for me to move with. He will find a way to spend it on something.

[chitown9]

I hope that they will take cash then. You don't have a credit card in your name? chi

[chitown9]

If someone else will use their credit card on your behalf, that will work too. They would just need to make the arrangements with UBER so that they could charge it to their credit card. You would just pay that person back. chi

[NarcissistWife]

I just went on social media, and see a girl who used to live in my town who is or was an Uber driver! She is friends with my ex's nephew (not the current guy). Maybe she will do it.

[chitown9]

I just went on social media, and see a girl who used to live in my town who is or was an Uber driver! She is friends with my ex's nephew (not the current guy). Maybe she will do it.

 

Perfect! Just tell her how desperate you are to leave at that particular time and the reasons for it. Promise her a good tip if she helps you out. We women have a sisterhood, ya know. I'll betcha that she will do it. There must have been a reason that I got online on this site at 3 am. chi

[NarcissistWife]

Thank you for your input and insight! I will let you know how it goes!

[NarcissistWife]

Ok, update. I contacted the Uber girl and she said she would do it for nothing! She then said she isn't a morning person, so I said how about at night? Then, she backed out. Said it was over her head. Ugh!

[chitown9]

Ok, update. I contacted the Uber girl and she said she would do it for nothing! She then said she isn't a morning person, so I said how about at night? Then, she backed out. Said it was over her head. Ugh!

 

Ask her if she can recommend another UBER driver. They often know one another. chi

[AutumnBorn]

NarcissitWife, where are you exactly?

[NarcissistWife]

I asked her if she could recommend someone. The issue is this...no one ever wants to get involved with personal issues. I should have never said why I needed to move at the time needed. My ex told me he will still help me move. This is a guy I dumped, ha! He says from an outsider's perspective he knew it would come to this with this guy. He could see it. I wish I could have!

[chitown9]

I asked her if she could recommend someone. The issue is this...no one ever wants to get involved with personal issues. I should have never said why I needed to move at the time needed. My ex told me he will still help me move. This is a guy I dumped, ha! He says from an outsider's perspective he knew it would come to this with this guy. He could see it. I wish I could have!

 

Well, if it comes to your ex doing the deed, then the best scenario would be that you and your ex coordinate the time so that it is a quick deal, where you are out of there in a flash. The timing is extremely important. Can you get all of your things out of the house in one swoop? What I am envisioning is that you sweep out of the house and into the car. chi

[NarcissistWife]

Yes, I can move in one swoop! I will be ready to go when he gets here. Thank you for your concern. I hate the wait, but at least I can wrap up things on this end while I am still here this week.