NarcissistWife Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 I married someone on the rebound since my ex, someone I grew up with and I thought I knew him. I NEED to go off on my own to take care of my son who does not live with me. My current spouse likes my son, but that is all. He is all about himself and our relationship. He has a child and does nothing more than occasionally speak over the phone. If I want to send gifts to anyone, nephew, nieces, parents, my child, etc. can't do it. Why? Because all he can think of is his beer. He drinks all day, everyday. He has put us in a financial bind so much, he bounces checks. I am done with this. We used to fight ALOT, because he wanted everything his way. What we do everyday, what we eat, what we watch on tv, listen to on the radio. where we go, etc. I gave up to stop the fighting, and he thinks everything is great and thinks we like EVERYTHING together. Everything I like, he can't stand or finds fault with. I feel like I lost who I am in this relationship. I feel like it's my fault the relationship is where it is, and losing my individuality. We RARELY go anywhere, due to the fact he would rather stay home and drink. Drink and smoke, all day...everyday. IF we go anywhere, it is me driving due to the alcohol. I do not currently work, but even when I did, it was me picking up the booze, doing the laundry, the cooking. He apologizes for the drinking, and says it will be better, but it never is. This past week he said, he is what he is. I know he went to rehab years before me, and that didn't work apparently. I know from conversations how badly his past relationships went, and when I first moved in, I didn't have a computer and had to use his and I saw the nasty messages he sent to women who left him. I do not want to go through that with him. I feel horrible about leaving him and worry what he may do to himself. But I do not want a confrontation with this man. Am I such a bad person for wanting to move out when he is not home? I need to think about me and my health and safety. I do not know what he would do. He has never gotten real violent, but we have come close before in arguments. He says he loves me, but his addiction is killing us and I can't fix him. He says I can never leave him and he'd kill someone if they took me away. I want to take ME away. He will be beyond upset/stunned when I leave.....I am not interested in another relationship and he will think there is one, because how could it be his fault? He is so loving, lol. I bring him his food, his drink, his cigarettes, make his lunch for work, fix the computers, ugh, I'm a housemaid, with benefits! Right now the only other person in my life is my son and get this, my ex that I left who says he will help me get my things out of here because I do not have a vehicle. Oy! I just want a normal life that isn't wrapped around a dependency on alcohol or me! Link to comment
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