my first relationship (sort of)

[tom1607307597]

I've been seeing a girl for about 1-2 weeks now. We've gone on 3 dates so far and we both seem to like each other, which is great! Something has been bugging me lately when I spend time with her. She's noticed this as well but most of the attraction seems physical; we can talk about everyday things like activities, work, our families, etc. but when we run out of things to to talk about we end up filling the awkward pauses with more flirting or kissing. We've been having more and more awkward silences when we have nothing to talk about, but I'm not sure its because we spent too much time talking over the phone early on or we just don't have alot in common. Since I'm not really experienced with dating I'm struggling to know how a boyfriend should act. A lot of the things that come out of my mouth are a result of "what would a good boyfriend say in this situation?". She calls me Bae sometimes and I'm so used to being single that I have trouble calling her Bae back. The daily texting and calling... it feels so strange to me and I'm worried that not contacting her enough to keep her interested.

 

So to sum it all up:

 

1. We are running out of things to talk about when we talk over the phone, in person, and through text

2. I'm worried I'm not initiating texts and calls enough

3. I'm wondering if the sexual tension is what is making want to see her instead of actually liking her

[SadSadgirl]

i don't really see this working out long term if you guys have already ran out of things to say. maybe you're sexually compatible but that's it

[johnnydanger]

Maybe you need to try and be more creative. Watch the news regularly, and discuss random news stories. Talk about politics, get her view on issues. Talk about hobbies she likes, and other things which interest her. If she is a true door knob, and can't converse much in response then you know it's not just you.

 

Also, you don't need to be yapping all the time. Sometimes it's fine to have gaps. So maybe hold off on the lengthy phone talk and defer some of it for a different day.

[Wiseman2]

Yes cut back on phoning and texting and over-saturating things through this. Keep the conversations about good date ideas and planning the next dates. Dating is not about being text buddies.

I'm not sure its because we spent too much time talking over the phone early on or we just don't have alot in common. The daily texting and calling... it feels so strange to me

[tom1607307597]

Maybe you need to try and be more creative. Watch the news regularly, and discuss random news stories. Talk about politics, get her view on issues. Talk about hobbies she likes, and other things which interest her. If she is a true door knob, and can't converse much in response then you know it's not just you.

 

Also, you don't need to be yapping all the time. Sometimes it's fine to have gaps. So maybe hold off on the lengthy phone talk and defer some of it for a different day.

 

Thanks, I need to try this more. We're still getting to know each other and this could help us find out what we like about each other instead of talking about work all the time.

 

Yes cut back on phoning and texting and over-saturating things through this. Keep the conversations about good date ideas and planning the next dates. Dating is not about being text buddies.

 

She picked up on this actually. One thing I like about her is she's really perceptive! We talked about it and agreed talking on the phone everyday isn't necessary, only if we want to talk or have something interesting to tell each other. If we do talk over the phone or through text I'm slowly becoming more okay with cutting it short and hanging up sooner if I'm feeling out of it.