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Is it possible to love two people at the same time?


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I'm am getting married to the man of my dreams, I love him and I'm fully devoted to him and always have been. I've never strayed, never will or have any intentions to. I have been with him for almost 4 years and we are getting married next year.


My issue is, I think I'm also in love with someone else. I met this person 8 years ago. So a long time before my future husband.


I was very young when I met him and I was naive and inexperienced; I didn't know what love was then but I do now and I'm realising, I feel the same way about these people equally.


The main thing here is, I met the original guy online, we've never met. Even if I was intending to act on my feelings, it would involve a lot of planning, money and time to dedicate being with them in person and physically cheating on my partner.


I can't shake him or the feelings I still have for him. Despite the fact we barely ever talk or interact anymore, I am incredibly fond of him and I don't think these feelings will ever go away, as it's been so long knowing him even with limited contact.


Is this wrong? Am I emotionally cheating on my partner by having these feelings for this other person? Is it possible to never fall out of love with someone?


I have discussed this with a friend and she has an ex-partner who she claims to still be in love with and believes she always will be in love with and will always care deeply about, despite falling in love with others after the relationship and she has told me it isn't odd, it's quite normal and there's no issue as long as I don't act on my feelings.


I'm trying to tell myself that because the other person came first, I haven't done anything wrong, these feelings have always been there way before meeting my partner. I'm just worried that this would be classed as emotionally cheating, or being unfair to marry someone else when I love them both the same?


I won't act on it, I don't want to act on it, I guess I'm just looking for advice/opinion and hoping the outcome is 'it's normal, don't feel bad'...

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Hello! I honestly would say not in this case. The online guy, you may have talked about things but you've never shared a bed, shared bad morning breath or shared life together. I think that's important to note when we're talking about love... in other words, do you really know him, in the real world?


I assume that you do know all that about your fiancé. So, can I ask if you are happy? Sometimes we build fantasies about others to fill in for something that is missing.

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Where do people get this notion that this is normal?? I've been seeing this more and more on here. My mind doesn't understand how people are in love with someone then they see someone they dated like 10 years ago and think that the love with them was better somehow? Once I'm moved on from someone, I've moved on. I love the current person in my life and no one from my past could change that. My opinion is that people who think this way are immature and confuse infatuation with love. It's a classic grass is greener situation.


The truth is the grass is greener where you water it. Focus on your current relationship and stop fantasizing about some illusion of a guy you've never met. Truth is you have no idea what he's really like and therefore can not love him. You are infatuated.

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I believe it's possible to love two people at the same time. I have been in that situation for years. I love my husband dearly, I could not ask for a better person. But I am in love with another man and have been for over 20 yrs. We used to see each other a lot but then I moved and I thought that would put an end to my feelings for him but it never did. I have seen him once in 20+ yrs and those feelings resurfaced. I haven't acted on them and dont plan to. He's happily married.


I think somehow there's some sort of chemical thing in the brain that attracts people to each other when maybe it shouldn't. As long as you are not acting on your desire for this other guy I think you are fine. Perhaps now that you are getting married you should end all contact with him, especially since you've never met. I do agree you are in love with a fantasy of this person since you dont really know him and haven't spent real time with him. I dont believe this is emotional cheating.

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This situation of unemployment, no goals, no hobbies, no interests, no fun, no activities, no friends, etc. can contribute to having this fantasy crush as an outlet/hobby. Life with your bf doesn't sound very fulfilling.

I'm 21 I'm starting a new job shortly

But I am so bored.

I've entered this mind numbingly boring routine and it's making me miserable.

I have no interests, no hobbies

Most weekends we sit at home watching TV,

I have no friends, the only other people I hang out with are my parents.

I am just so bored and I have no idea what to do.

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I dont think it is completely abnormal to crush on other people even when in relationships, as long as there is no acting on it.


BUT, I dont think it is fair of you to keep in contact with someone you are "in love" with (how does that even work, seeing as you've never met him?), the appropriate thing to do would be to cut off ALL contact. I mean there is not even a need to keep in contact since you dont work together or anything, and dont HAVE to talk...


I mean, how would you feel if your fiancé still kept in contact with a woman he's always had feelings for? Even claims to be in LOVE with? Wouldn't feel too great, huh?


Please stop feeding into this fantasy of yours and focus on real life, on your real soon-to-be husband.

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It's not about what's cheating or not considered cheating it's about what's right or wrong.




If you feel you love two people or if you fantasize constantly about someone else you are no place to get married and say those vows to someone for Death Do you part.



Running from your problems doesn't fix them..... changing Who You Are does.




Careful.... for our thoughts soon become our actions when given the time and opportunity.


The OP asked if this was emotional cheating, and I said I dont believe it is.

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