Update: dating a girl with a present ex

[Opportunity9]

Hey.

So my last post was relating to me seeing a girl and had dated a few times, she said she's still friendly with her ex. And I wasn't sure how to proceed.

 

1 month on, I'm still dating this girl and I'd say we were a lot more serious now than before, we've had sex, spending lots more time together and generally just getting on lots better.

 

However, since then her ex has popped up in conversation a lot. She's explained to me that he texts her a lot and she texts back, she's apparently told him to not get the wrong idea, and she tells me there's not a single feeling there for him anymore.

However, they still see eachother and talk. She admits that.

 

But it still bothers me. Yet even when we talk about it now, I still don't feel I have the right to make my feelings known that it bothers me, and I find it strange.

 

Am I just paranoid in myself and being insecure, or do I have a right to start bringing this up as a genuine issue without being unfair??

 

For context, we've met up numerous/est 10+ odd times now and things are going really well.

[Raggie]

Hello. I have friends who have maintained exes in their lives. Doesn't mean they want to be with them.

She sounds like she is being honest with you, so you have a decision; trust her or break up.

If this is something you're unable to handle, you'll have to walk away.

[Wiseman2]

Go slow and do not invest much. She's not over him and telling you bits and pieces to justify what she's doing, doesn't make it ok.

 

This is a lie 9;6800737]she tells me there's not a single feeling there for him anymore.And these are huge red flags 9;6800737]her ex has popped up in conversation a lot. She's explained to me that he texts her a lot and she texts back they still see eachother and talk.

[Careerchoice]

I still don't feel I have the right to make my feelings known that it bothers me

Why not? I find your position to be entirely justified. Tell her that you want her to stop. If she didn't have any feelings for him, she would have no problem skipping his contacts.

[s0fly]

If this is making you feel uncomfortable. Speak up. Very important to communicate and let your feelings be heard in a relationship. And if she respects your feelings she will know she has to cut communication off with the ex to make you feel comfortable. If she cares more about you than the ex that should absolutely not be a problem. It's not telling her what to do, it's simply communicating your feelings about it and if she doesn't respect that then walk away.

 

Someone who loves and respects their current partner would not let an EX come between the relationship.

 

There's also a difference between being ''friendly'' with an ex and being ''friends'' it seems as though she is friends with him as she talks and sees him often. I personally think being ''friendly'' with an ex is fine because that just means you can catch up once in a while or go for coffee once. But being actually ''friends'' is too much.