Letting go

[Marie83]

It has been nearly 5-6 months since I posted. My ex and I didn't talk since early December up until mid-March. We've talked on and off since then, but we can't seem to talk without fighting and this is all through text. We haven't spoken on the phone or met up. He is incredibly cruel and on edge anytime we communicate. It's been this way for a month and I don't know if this is normal or if it's impossible to communicate with an ex. It would be nice if things could be civil and he didn't act like I was the worst person in the world when he was the one to break my heart and move away for postdoc.

 

He brought up applying to jobs in my city and visiting, but that it would be a horrible idea. I don't know of this is mixed messages or what, but I feel constantly put down, criticized, unsupported, and played with.

 

We had a huge fight on Monday and I told him I didn't remember anything positive anymore about what we had, only hurt, and that I wanted him to leave me alone, never contact me again and wished I never met him and could forget him. I see a therapist who has called him flat out verbally abusive, yet my ex is a psychologist himself. I just wish this all could end and I could have closure and be happy and motivated with life, dreams and my future again.

[SadSadgirl]

it sounds like there's still some unresolved feelings between you two, even if they're negative. stay in NC. i know you want closure, but even if he gave you 5000 different answers you'd still want more answers. your closure is your happiness. good luck with healing

[Wiseman2]

When did you break you up? Tell him you are moving forward and then go no contact and block and delete him.

 

All these relationship postmortems are counterproductive and wasting your time. just wish this all could end and I could have closure and be happy and motivated with life, dreams and my future again.

[Marie83]

We broke up officially over a year ago (Feb. '16), he then came back in May and wasted my time by not know what he wanted, but not letting me leave, and then moved for postdoc in Aug in Rhode Island, asked me to move there and took it back 3-4 weeks later; haven't seen from him since and he's been completely for the most part since then.

 

I've gone no contact since Monday. I hate that it's all so negative. I wished it could have gone more positively, our last interaction.

 

I'm just giving up hope. I can't handle to have hope, and I can't handle constant hurtful comments everyday. It's been three days. Why does it feel so bad to tell someone to never contact you again? I don't even think I am in love any longer or would ever want to be back ever again.

[Hollyj]

Good grief! It ends when you end it. Block him, and stop seeking drama!

[JoeyD2000]

Unfortunately some relationships end more bitter than others.

 

Of course it's sad when it's so fresh as clearly you both had an emotional connection & it's easier said than done.

 

Its only been 3 days. The longer you go with NC the easier it will become. Eventually you will accept it as it is. One day down the track you both may talk again & realise it got out of hand.

 

I have even laughed with some of my exes a few years down the track how petty we both got when we broke up. It's just emotions at the time. Some other exes i've never talked to again. They mean nothing to me now & vice versa I imagine

 

 

Hope this helps