toremyheart17 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I just found out my bf of 3 years recently had a visit to prostitute. I had his phone password, I was looking into his text messages and I found his text messages for escort's location, price, and which girls were available and cost... I was crying and stopped talking to him. Then he confessed. It was so devastating. I have always been devoted and committed in this relationship. Throughout the relationship, he was caring, loving, and genuine. We were planning to live together and plan on getting married. Even when I confronted him, he told me he ed up and he actually was planning to buy the ring and thinking about having kids together two days ago. I asked him how many times he went when he was with me, he said two times... He was totally ashamed, said he's an awful person and a sociopath. He was crying on the phone and said he still loves me and would see if I can forgive him and give him a chance. He said I am the nicest girlfriend he have ever had. He promised he would not go again if I give him a chance. But he also said he will understand he deserves it if I want to let it go and move on. I told him I needed time to think. Is it possible to give him a chance? I know most people will tell me stay away from him. But I just can't imagine the life without him. We do share same sense of humor, and view, good sex. I enjoyed spending time with him. We've invested 3 years together and I would really hope he will change to a better person. I just turned 30 years old. I was hoping to marry this guy and have a family together. I am worried of going through dating all over again.... I really regretted that I have discovered this from checking his messages... Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I just found out my bf of 3 years recently had a visit to prostitute. I asked him how many times he went when he was with me, he said two times... Is it possible to give him a chance?. Speaking for myself only, I would dump him so fast he wouldn't know what hit him. Yes, I can be very unforgiving with certain things, and cheating is high on my list of deal breakers. Personally, I wouldn't believe it was only twice. It makes one wonder who else he has been cheating with. See the pattern here? When you cannot trust him anymore, then you have nothing. Without trust, a relationship will never work. Ever. And the way I see it, I would never be able to fully trust him again, but that's just me. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're still young. You can do a lot better than this cheating jerk. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am so sorry. Please get checked for STD's. He's sorry he got caught. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Hell no!!!!!!! Get yourself tested. I would not believe that it had only happened twice. Once was too much! Time together SHOULD NEVER BE A FACTOR! " sense of humor, and view, good sex" This doesn't mean anything. The most important aspect of a a relationship are common values: respect, trust, loyalty integrity, fidelity and compassion Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 The best predictor of future behaviour is relevant past behaviour. I doubt it's been twice. Dump him, he doesnt get a second chance after that. Also, get yourself tested for diseases. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Did you ask him why he went to a prostitute?? chi Link to comment
toremyheart17 Posted April 20, 2017 Author Share Posted April 20, 2017 Did you ask him why he went to a prostitute?? chi I did ask, but all he said was "I am a horrible person"... my thinking is we see each other every two weeks because we live 2 hours apart from each other by driving and my work schedule. A lot of time he did ask me to do anal, but I refused. Maybe he just wants to have sex with someone hot... Link to comment
toremyheart17 Posted April 20, 2017 Author Share Posted April 20, 2017 I am so sorry. Please get checked for STD's. He's sorry he got caught. Yes I went to gyn immediately the next day, waiting for result. I hope I'm clean Link to comment
toremyheart17 Posted April 20, 2017 Author Share Posted April 20, 2017 Speaking for myself only, I would dump him so fast he wouldn't know what hit him. Yes, I can be very unforgiving with certain things, and cheating is high on my list of deal breakers. Personally, I wouldn't believe it was only twice. It makes one wonder who else he has been cheating with. See the pattern here? When you cannot trust him anymore, then you have nothing. Without trust, a relationship will never work. Ever. And the way I see it, I would never be able to fully trust him again, but that's just me. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're still young. You can do a lot better than this cheating jerk. It's good that you have a deal breaker and stand up for yourself but It's easy to said than done.. I haven't talked to him for two days only and now I miss him already, the anger and crying parts are gone now I just couldn't sleep... Link to comment
Jibralta Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Even when I confronted him, he told me he ed up and he actually was planning to buy the ring and thinking about having kids together two days ago. What an amazing coincidence! Not. He knows you are keen to get married and have a family. He's keeping you on the hook that way. I did ask, but all he said was "I am a horrible person" Listen to people when they tell you about themselves. Don't make excuses for him. You can find better. Don't settle. This is your life. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Sorry to hear this. Do not get married or believe his other lies such as "only 2 times" and "planning to buy a ring". Or the crocodile tears. What you can believe is this: "he's an awful person and a sociopath" This habit won't end, he'll just hide it better. Get a full checkup including HIV, Hep C, HVS, HPV and all other stds. How old is he? 3 years recently had a visit to prostitute. when I confronted him, he told me he ed up and he actually was planning to buy the ring and thinking about having kids together two days ago. I asked him how many times he went when he was with me, he said two times. Link to comment
toremyheart17 Posted April 21, 2017 Author Share Posted April 21, 2017 Sorry to hear this. Do not get married or believe his other lies such as "only 2 times" and "planning to buy a ring". Or the crocodile tears. What you can believe is this: "he's an awful person and a sociopath" This habit won't end, he'll just hide it better. Get a full checkup including HIV, Hep C, HVS, HPV and all other stds. How old is he? He is also 30 years old Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Don't even contemplate continuing with this relationship, not for a second. In the general scheme of things, three years is not very long - certainly if you were considering marriage and children - and continuing to invest any more or your time or energy is a bit like a gambler who carries on playing and losing money, precisely because so much money has already been lost. Worrying about going through dating all over again with someone else will be nothing compared to wondering, constantly, about where he is, who he's with, and whether you're about to catch something nasty. Link to comment
herodgrant Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Dr Phil fan I assume, Melancholy123 Link to comment
anicole Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 Good luck on your results, maybe his fetish is sleeping with prostitutes I would ask him. Do you not satisfy him? He basically cheated on you. Link to comment
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