boyfriend's ex girlfriend/ baby mother

[jennyj]

I have been with my partner for around 3 years now, he has a 6 year old with his ex girlfriend who he was with for a very long time. He ended the relationship as he said he fell out of love. Anyway i have a great relationship with his child and his family. But.. she has another child with another man and that child is very close to my mother in law, and sister& brother in law. My bf hates it. The child calls my mother in law nan?! i feel its so disrespectful to my bf. i understand she is the mother of his child so i know theres always going to be contact with the family but its way to much and makes me feel so uncomfortable. i feel like she's already got the place of a daughter in law if that makes sense. tbh her other child being so close to his family drives me mental but how do i deal with it.. its not going to change and probably only get worse as it grows older. i feel like the baby mum knows what she's doing and its a way of her being like well you ended things with me so..

 

i dunno has anyone else been or in this situation?

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. Her relationship with your bf's parents (they are not your in-laws) is their business. It was present long before you came along and it has nothing to do with you. None of this is your business whatsoever.

 

Yes she is their grandchild's mother and that is also not a daughter in law, it's far more important and bonding. His parents must love their grandchild and therefore have a relationship with the mother and their grandchild's half-siblings. His family sounds wonderful. Perhaps you won't fit in and this "drives you mental"?

 

Try to control this irrational jealousy and work on the source of it. The insecurity in the relationship with your bf.

he has a 6 year old with his ex girlfriend who he was with for a very long time. i understand she is the mother of his child so i know theres always going to be contact with the family but its way to much and makes me feel so uncomfortable. i feel like she's already got the place of a daughter in law if that makes sense.

[charity]

You are being ridicules.

 

Yes she is the mother of their grandchild so she is part of the family.

 

Why do you care so much that her other child calls his mum 'Nan'. Its their business!

 

You're jealousy and bitterness will hurt you if you don't recognize it for what it is.

[saluk]

I can understand your feelings, but you are going to have to just suck this one up. His exes childs relationship with your bfs kids grandparents is too many relationships removed for you to have a legitimate influence on one way or another. (Did I even get that right? It's a bit confusing) It is perfectly reasonable both for the child to look up to their step grandparents (again, do I have this right?), and also reasonable for them to be cordial to the child.

 

If he doesn't love her, then she is not a threat to you. So try not to look for problems where there aren't any.

[boltnrun]

Well, my former MIL told me I will always be her daughter. She and I get together for lunch and dinner whenever we can. I don't have any children who weren't fathered by her son, but I can't imagine she'd tell me to take a hike if my ex husband (her son) started dating someone else.

[catfeeder]

You're jealous of a woman extending her love to include her grandchild's sibling? Really?

 

You must live a charmed life to reach for problems that don't need to exist. I'd do a gut check, because you're making yourself miserable with your own pettiness. I'd make an effort instead to recognize something loveable about the child, which shouldn't be that difficult to do if you can move out of your own way.

[coconut5]

It's an innocent child, lady...