I'm in love with a coworker and friend

[Mp88]

Hi,

 

I'm a 28 years old woman and I'm in love with my coworker and friend, a woman too. I'm bisexual and not everyone in my life knows it, but the closest ones do. My coworker, let's call her K, knows.

 

She started working with me 2 years ago; we were classmates at University so we bonded quickly. We sit next to each other and we work in the same team (we are the whole team). We started hanging out after work and on weekends, we have travelled together (3 times last year) and we are pretty close.

 

I started feeling atracted to her about a year and a half ago. I thought it was nothing serious. Now I find my self completely in love. Of course, she doesn't know that. She has never made her sexual orientation explicitly clear, and sometimes I feel there is chemistry between us, by the way she looks at me or the way she is always getting real close to me and touching my arm and laughing a lot at everything I say. But I may be dellusional and she is just being a friend. I don't know.

 

This love has caused a lot of issues:

- I'm feeling down because I'm scared she'll notice that I love her and she may leave me.

- I can't focus at work. She touches my arm and I can't think during the next 30 minutes. And she does that a lot.

- I'm afraid to hurt her by telling her my feelings.

- I can't focus at anything at all, actually.

- I want her so badly that is practically everything I think of.

 

This is not the first time I fall in love with a friend. Once I fell for a really close friend and it was an awful experience; I kept my feelings hidden (since in that case I was sure a 100% my feelings weren't reciprocated) for the longest time I could as I didn't want to hurt my friend... but I was really depressed, I felt guilty, and I was deeply considering suicide.. So I decided that the less harmful thing would be to tell her my feelings. That was the last time I saw her; and we were friends for 5 years.

 

I don't want to repeat that kind of experience again; I don't want to lose the person I love and a friend. Also the work thing complicates everything.

 

What do I do?

[Wiseman2]

Does she have a bf or talk about guys or dating? It would be important to find that out. She may sense your attraction but since you are friends and coworkers she may think it is just friends.

She has never made her sexual orientation explicitly clear

[SadSadgirl]

Hi,

 

I'm a 28 years old woman and I'm in love with my coworker and friend, a woman too. I'm bisexual and not everyone in my life knows it, but the closest ones do. My coworker, let's call her K, knows.

 

She started working with me 2 years ago; we were classmates at University so we bonded quickly. We sit next to each other and we work in the same team (we are the whole team). We started hanging out after work and on weekends, we have travelled together (3 times last year) and we are pretty close.

 

I started feeling atracted to her about a year and a half ago. I thought it was nothing serious. Now I find my self completely in love. Of course, she doesn't know that. She has never made her sexual orientation explicitly clear, and sometimes I feel there is chemistry between us, by the way she looks at me or the way she is always getting real close to me and touching my arm and laughing a lot at everything I say. But I may be dellusional and she is just being a friend. I don't know.

 

This love has caused a lot of issues:

- I'm feeling down because I'm scared she'll notice that I love her and she may leave me.

- I can't focus at work. She touches my arm and I can't think during the next 30 minutes. And she does that a lot.

- I'm afraid to hurt her by telling her my feelings.

- I can't focus at anything at all, actually.

- I want her so badly that is practically everything I think of.

 

This is not the first time I fall in love with a friend. Once I fell for a really close friend and it was an awful experience; I kept my feelings hidden (since in that case I was sure a 100% my feelings weren't reciprocated) for the longest time I could as I didn't want to hurt my friend... but I was really depressed, I felt guilty, and I was deeply considering suicide.. So I decided that the less harmful thing would be to tell her my feelings. That was the last time I saw her; and we were friends for 5 years.

 

I don't want to repeat that kind of experience again; I don't want to lose the person I love and a friend. Also the work thing complicates everything.

 

What do I do?

 

it sounds like you are infatuated with her. if this is affecting you so badly, you should just take the leap and tell her how you feel. a good friend would either tell you they feel the same way, or reject you kindly.