A replacement Boyfriend... Rebound?

[BJN31]

Hi Guys,

 

I've posted alot recently about me and my ex but I want some insight as to whats going on.

 

My ex significant other and I broke up around 9 weeks ago and in that time already she has already taken him to very same hotel she took me too in Cardiff and already gone on the same bike ride we went on in the New Forest in Hampshire, England.

 

I mean, hearing about this stuff sort of hurts. We were together for 5 years almost. Going to the same places and hear its posed over social media is quite a kick in the teeth. I just want to know what should I read into this? The easy answer is probably to 'move on' and I get that I need to but why visit places where you've been in a previous relationship? It makes no sense to me?

 

If anyone did not know, I still despite everything that has gone on have feelings for my ex so please bare that in mind when responding I get the general jist of where I am at this moment in time.

 

Cheers Guys,

Ben

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like she's experimenting with this guy.

 

Stay no contact and delete and block her and her people from everything.

 

Don't blame yourself, just consider that she is a lot more immature than you remembered.

My ex significant other and I broke up around 9 weeks ago and in that time already she has already taken him to very same hotel she took me too in Cardiff and already gone on the same bike ride we went on in the New Forest in Hampshire, England.

[Scoe141]

I think the general concensus here is going to be: delete, block and move on. You're prolonging the healing process by checking up on her.

 

I'd remove her from your life completely. Go "scorched earth" policy. Delete all remnants of her. If you're unwilling to let go. Get a box, throw old photos, personal effects etc. into it. Hide it away somewhere or give it to a friend to keep.

 

The more you keep tabs on her, the longer your wounds will stay open.

 

Here's to your healing.

[BJN31]

Cheers bro,

 

I mean do you think at some point, if I wanted too, there is a chance of reconciliation if I felt that way? Right now, I'm full of all emotions

[happysnappy]

My ex did this too. I don't get it. I purposely wouldn't take a new SO to places I'd gone to with my ex

[happyfrank]

Maybe she just likes those places.

 

Stop keeping tabs on the ex. It's not healthy.. wish her the best on her future endeavors.

 

Take care.

[Knight2001]

nooooooooooooooooooooo you dont want reconcilliation. block her and go NC. find yourself and move on, but most of all be happy.

good luck.

[Hollyj]

Hi Guys,

 

I've posted alot recently about me and my ex but I want some insight as to whats going on.

 

My ex significant other and I broke up around 9 weeks ago and in that time already she has already taken him to very same hotel she took me too in Cardiff and already gone on the same bike ride we went on in the New Forest in Hampshire, England.

 

I mean, hearing about this stuff sort of hurts. We were together for 5 years almost. Going to the same places and hear its posed over social media is quite a kick in the teeth. I just want to know what should I read into this? The easy answer is probably to 'move on' and I get that I need to but why visit places where you've been in a previous relationship? It makes no sense to me?

 

If anyone did not know, I still despite everything that has gone on have feelings for my ex so please bare that in mind when responding I get the general jist of where I am at this moment in time.

 

Cheers Guys,

Ben

 

Why are you following? You should block and delete. Stop putting yourself through this.

[Scoe141]

I don't know man... it's hard to say. Every case is different. When I was in college my roommate broke up with his high school sweetheart. They remained apart for over a year. He was still in love with her, she moved on and began dating someone else. Sometime during our 3rd year in school they got back together. Eventually they married and had two kids.

 

Is it possible? Sure. Will it happen? I have no idea. She told you she's not in love with you anymore. I mean how can you get someone to love you? You don't.

 

You find someone that naturally wants to love you. Not just some of the time, but all of it.

 

I know the pain sucks right now. But you'll get through it. We always do.

[Sugertit]

Just rember hun there are things out there better then a man like that

[No1]

the most obvious of your post is that you have been broken up for over 2 months, You X is now sharing her life and time with someone else. She is not doing this to play with you or make you think there is a chance. She has moved on.

She is going to the park and restaurants, and other places because she has 1. Already mentally moved on from her previous relationship. 2. She is making new memories with someone else. 3. She is putting the past behind her.

Her actions say that she is moving on if not has moved on from you. No games, no secret messages, no codes.. She is moving on.

I would suggest that you just admit that it is over, she is not coming back and you remove her from your life. Im sorry. I know its hard on you and its far easier said than done. 5 years is a long time and a lot of memories and right now it doesnt matter why the relationship ended. There is no fault, no blame, no reason to look in the past for your answers. Accept that it is over.

I know you want to hold on to past promises, what she said about you two and what she said about the relationship, but all that has to be thrown out the window for it doesnt matter what she had promised... I know it hurts, but you must see that. She is not replacing you, she is not projecting, she is not thinking of you while kissing this new person. She closed a chapter and starting a new one. You are free to do the same.

You are going to be alright.. you will find happiness again, but with another girl. Its okay to say its over and its okay to let go of the relationship.. thats all you are doing. Memories and good times can stay with you, but release the relationship. You will fall in love again. I know it.

[DancingFool]

Just as everyone else already said, please get her off your social media. Watching what she is doing and with who is really bad for you. Stops you from healing and moving on yourself.

 

Is there still a chance? Well.....no. She has very obviously moved forward and now you need to start working on moving forward yourself. It's natural to miss someone you were with for so long, to feel a void, but I promise you that the more you work on getting busy, hobbies, friends, doing stuff for yourself that you enjoy, the faster that void will disappear, you'll be happy again and then you will meet someone else.

 

Why does she go to those places? Honestly? Because she likes those places and activities. It's really as simple as that. To you, you've attached a personal meaning to it, but to her, it's just a place she likes and she will go there with other people because it's not about the company but rather the place/activity. I'm actually speaking from my personal point of view here. There are certain places I love to go to and have taken many dates with me. Why? Because I love the place and because it's a fun thing to do with various dates. It's simply not about any guy or any relationship.

[MissCanuck]

She's taken her new BF to those places simply because she likes them.

 

Did she do the breaking up? She likely doesn't have quite the same sentimental attachment to these spots that you do, hard as that is to acknowledge.

[Wiseman2]

She could be rechristening them.

[GeekLover]

I know how this feels and how frustrating it is. I used to obsess over my ex's social media as well as his new (romantic???) girl's social media that he overlapped into from me. (To this day, I still don't know for sure what their status is, and I won't anymore as I no longer stalk either of them). I managed to figure out who she was and would check her Facebook often (he does not have FB). Finally, 3 months ago, she posted a profile picture of the the two of them. They were out hiking together in the snow, something the two of us used to enjoy together and created memory after memory doing together. It cut me like a knife. Not only that, but when I looked closely at the picture, I realized he had a particular placement of his tongue while he smiled that was MY "signature move" in pictures so to speak...something he always commented on and found adorable about ME.

 

This drove me mad. How could he?? He stole that from ME!!!!!

 

Eventually I had to just let it go. I needed to tell myself it meant nothing. Or maybe it did, but that I needed to accept it. I would never know exactly what it did mean.

 

I believe if she is revisiting places the two of you have created memories together at, then she is no doubt at least thinking about you a little bit during that time. I do agree with Wiseman in that she might be rechristening the places. The reason why? Who knows? Maybe it was something she just enjoyed and she wants to share it with someone new? Maybe she doesn't have much of a sentimental attachment to that place/memory with you so it doesn't bother her to revisit it? Maybe she's bitter and is doing it out of spite? Maybe she is revisiting these places because they ARE, in fact, special to her and she needs to "rechristen" them with someone new so the memory is not as painful anymore? Maybe by doing this she feels she is moving on? Maybe it's her way to convince herself she doesn't care?

 

Who really knows? Only she does.

 

However, this still means nothing unfortunately. This changes nothing. You and her are not together and she has chosen someone else over you. It doesn't mean she wants to reconnect. It sucks all around.

 

Sorry. I know it hurts. I feel it. Don't beat yourself up over her actions. You will drive yourself CRAZY!!!!

[SadSadgirl]

with a rebound relationship, time is not a factor even though most people like to make it seem so. a rebound is used in an attempt to heal. was your breakup bad?

 

also, you can label her relationship and label her anything you want, but it doesn't change the fact shes moved on and you're still dwelling on her. you want reconciliation because your feelings are still raw and you miss her. once you get over the stages of grief you will feel indifference towards her. focus on yourself and you will begin to feel better. you had a life without her before, and now you have it without her again. sometimes exes come back when we least expect them to, and when that happens, we don't even want them anymore. keep your head up.

[Dreamfunk]

Hello mate.... Hope you are feeling better and I did message you back

Take it easy bro