jonnyboy12 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 So its been around 8 days since my girlfriend who i love with everything I have just walked out on me, for the past 8 days all we have done is go incircles about how much we love each other and how she wants me and no one else but she just "can't do it right now" and how its "gone too far", I can tell she wants to meet and speak but shes totally stopping herself from doing it, im not sure why. Its all very confusing, Ive felt the same sick worried feeling in my stomach since it all happened, everyones telling me to move on and let go but I just can't I want her and only her. I can barely sleep or eat, ive lost 6kg in a week, how do I stop all of this? I love her and I dont want to be with anyone else, I've asked her today "do you want to be with me", simple yes or no, no ifs not buts. I've told her if the answer is yes then we will leave each other for a month and meet up after a month of no contact to see how we feel, I dont know what she will reply but if she replies "no" then I really will have to let go. She needs to be clear with me, tell me it will never work again because right now Im trying to hold on because she is saying all these mixed messages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart of gold Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 You sound young? You need space and NC. She walked out on you and you're being her crutch now. Please stop telling her how much you love her and start focusibg on yourself. If she can't do it right now then you are just hurting yourself! It will be hard but please eat, go out, do whtever you need to do to take little steps to happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miqos2009 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 @jonnyboy, you need to start acting like a man that you are, she has made a decision, just let her be and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy12 Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 You sound young? You need space and NC. She walked out on you and you're being her crutch now. Please stop telling her how much you love her and start focusibg on yourself. If she can't do it right now then you are just hurting yourself! It will be hard but please eat, go out, do whtever you need to do to take little steps to happiness. hey, im 19, this is my first proper girlfriend, never fallen in love with any girls before, never really cared about any girls i had been with, but this girl is different, been together a year and she means everything to me. Its just such a mess. She was sitting saying "i just cant believe this, a year of memories all gone, its just so f*cked", but she is the one that walked, and ive tried to suggest so many things but she just says "i cant i cant" then tells me she loves me and how bad this whole thing is, but doesnt want to try to resolve it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miqos2009 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 @Jonny, move on. You will be surprised that there are even better ladies out there, come on, you are 19 . Enter the ocean and you will find better fishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy12 Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 @Jonny, move on. You will be surprised that there are even better ladies out there, come on, you are 19 . Enter the ocean and you will find better fishes Ugh, I really dont want anyone else though, I just want her, I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miqos2009 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 I wish you goodluck bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyman Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Unfortunately, and likely not what you want to hear, but I think this is over. I know it is hard, and I know where you wanted it all to go, but she walked out and there had to be a reason, even if she is not entirely clear what that is. Sure, you can fight for this and try to win her back, and you might even succeed, but this happened for a reason and it will happen again. Just remember this is not a romantic comedy and somethings aren't supposed to last. It is early days, and you still have very strong feelings, moreso now because of the desire to not have the feelings stop. But they will eventually stop and you will be able to accept that it is over and move on. But you are only at the beginning, in the denial phase. Unfortunately it is going to get worse before it gets better, but you are young and this will not be your only love. Just do yourself and her a favour: go easy on the both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart of gold Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 You want a girl who will just drop out of it without any reason at any time? As someone older and hopefully wiser, DONT DO IT! If you accept this and stick around for her to have an ego massage every other day, she will take full advantage of you for years to come! 19 is soooo young, as above posters have said...plenty more fish-better fish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Reading your history it seems she has the upper hand , you are totally in love and devoted and she is pulling all the strings ...you mentioned how she has never ever posted you on any of her social media .. but thousands of pics of everyone else .... you had a worry over one male friend , you were frightened it had gone flat ....everything you wrote makes me want to scream , run as fast as you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy12 Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 Unfortunately, and likely not what you want to hear, but I think this is over. I know it is hard, and I know where you wanted it all to go, but she walked out and there had to be a reason, even if she is not entirely clear what that is. Sure, you can fight for this and try to win her back, and you might even succeed, but this happened for a reason and it will happen again. Just remember this is not a romantic comedy and somethings aren't supposed to last. It is early days, and you still have very strong feelings, moreso now because of the desire to not have the feelings stop. But they will eventually stop and you will be able to accept that it is over and move on. But you are only at the beginning, in the denial phase. Unfortunately it is going to get worse before it gets better, but you are young and this will not be your only love. Just do yourself and her a favour: go easy on the both of you. Yeah its over, she replied to my text, she said too much has happened for her to ever see us getting back together, all she is doing is focussing on the negatives and whats just happened rather than thinking how she will feel in a months time. She says she wishes me and my family all the best and says she cant wait to see what the future holds for me because i deserve the world, all this crap is just her trying to make it sound lighter. I replied and said, okay, the decision has been made, just dont forget that i tried to fix this, your walking out on me so here, ill hold the door for you, wished her the best and thats it. Really never wanted this but i cant do anymore now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy12 Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 Reading your history it seems she has the upper hand , you are totally in love and devoted and she is pulling all the strings ...you mentioned how she has never ever posted you on any of her social media .. but thousands of pics of everyone else .... you had a worry over one male friend , you were frightened it had gone flat ....everything you wrote makes me want to scream , run as fast as you can. Yeah I was totally head over heels for her, I had my flaws, a little insecure, trust issues but everything she did made me have these issues. Finally though shes set it clear, she cant see us ever getting back together and we've wished each other the best. Not what I wanted but everyones telling me to move on. Such a horrible horrible feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonMan33 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Yeah I was totally head over heels for her, I had my flaws, a little insecure, trust issues but everything she did made me have these issues. Finally though shes set it clear, she cant see us ever getting back together and we've wished each other the best. Not what I wanted but everyones telling me to move on. Such a horrible horrible feeling. hi John You are not alone mate. feels like you are but millions of others feel exactly the same as you do today me included . I am feeling a lot better about life than I was 6 weeks ago with my break up. I know it is mental torture mate , I put up with that for 2 weeks and thought enough of this I need a hand here and I went to speak to my Doctor who was great, After explaining my feelings and what had happened I left with some 20mg Fluoxetine tablets, these have worked wonders in the past 2 weeks, they restore the balance of the chemical in the brain that you will be lacking right now making you feel so low in life. This whole battle you are in is not just the heart it is in the mind as well. fighting on 2 fronts, try and fix one at a time. I decided to fix my mind and these tablets are really making a difference . they are not the magic cure but they are a big help on the road to recovery . If you are really struggling mentally as I think you are go and talk it over with your doctor and as about Fluoxetine, If you do use them it takes a few weeks for them to take effect so be prepared but it is well worth it in the end. Stay no contact as well. The more you contact the more you hurt,. no social media stalking nothing ,, zero.. its all about you getting well . if you do what you need to you will heal a lot quicker. and this will all be an experience you can look back on in your life. Things will be ok kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy12 Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 hi John You are not alone mate. feels like you are but millions of others feel exactly the same as you do today me included . I am feeling a lot better about life than I was 6 weeks ago with my break up. I know it is mental torture mate , I put up with that for 2 weeks and thought enough of this I need a hand here and I went to speak to my Doctor who was great, After explaining my feelings and what had happened I left with some 20mg Fluoxetine tablets, these have worked wonders in the past 2 weeks, they restore the balance of the chemical in the brain that you will be lacking right now making you feel so low in life. This whole battle you are in is not just the heart it is in the mind as well. fighting on 2 fronts, try and fix one at a time. I decided to fix my mind and these tablets are really making a difference . they are not the magic cure but they are a big help on the road to recovery . If you are really struggling mentally as I think you are go and talk it over with your doctor and as about Fluoxetine, If you do use them it takes a few weeks for them to take effect so be prepared but it is well worth it in the end. Stay no contact as well. The more you contact the more you hurt,. no social media stalking nothing ,, zero.. its all about you getting well . if you do what you need to you will heal a lot quicker. and this will all be an experience you can look back on in your life. Things will be ok kid. Aw its horrid man, worst feeling ive every felt. Ive never lost anyone in my family or experienced death , i know its not really the same but the feeling of "losing" someone, ive never felt it, its hard. Glad to hear you are getting better man. I dont know about popping pills, ive thought about it to help me just move on from it but what happens when you stop taking them...back to square one? The common side effects of them seem a bit weird aswell. No contact is happening now, shes told me that its never going to work and never be a thing again, its closure now, its horrible that after everything ive been put into the same category as a boy who cheated on her and treated her like CRAP before he met me, I was a bit insecure and stuff and can see why she was tired of it but she wouldnt let me show her I could change. But the way she acted never helped with my insecurities or trust issues, its a weird one, I knew she would never betray me but she liked getting attention, she never showed me off etc so it always played on my mind. I just need to move on with my life now, right now its still fresh and I know its going to take time. I just cant think how ill ever meet someone again, thinking of being with another girl makes me feel really uneasy and a bit sick, a whole year with one person basically spending every single day with each other, i was so comfortable with her like we clicked and we were basically the same person, finished each otheres sentences etc. Going to be hard but will hopefully get through it, maybe if im still feeling the same by the end of next week ill hit the doctors up. Appreciate the kind words tho mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Sorry to hear this. What does she think " has gone too far"? What is it she "can't do right now"? Is there a push for sex she doesn't want? She should be giving you space and going no contact not leading you on and friendzoning you. It sounds like she's checking some other guy out and wants you as a backup. Go no contact and let her miss you. Don't beg, plead continue talking or asking her what she wants when breaking up is what she did.for the past 8 days all we have done is go incircles about how much we love each other. I've asked her today "do you want to be with me", simple yes or no, no ifs not buts. I've told her if the answer is yes then we will leave each other for a month and meet up after a month of no contact to see how we feel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy12 Posted April 19, 2017 Author Share Posted April 19, 2017 So we met lastnight and it was probably the worst thing to do. We heard each other out explained exactly why she wanted out of the relationship I told her im willing to change these things I do and that I love her and dont want anyone else, she was crying, i was crying, it was so horrible. She said i will always love you and care for you and ill Always be here for you but I need to focus on my own happiness. I just don't understand how to let go of her, its tearing me apart. I now feel back to square one with everything. I hate this. I tried to be the best boyfriend I could, admittedly I have trust issues but I tried, and i gave that girl so much love, my absolute everything. I don't know what to do now, how do I move on? How do I actually accept this, she's blatantly told me its over but I can't accept it, i need help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart of gold Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 So we met lastnight and it was probably the worst thing to do. We heard each other out explained exactly why she wanted out of the relationship I told her im willing to change these things I do and that I love her and dont want anyone else, she was crying, i was crying, it was so horrible. She said i will always love you and care for you and ill Always be here for you but I need to focus on my own happiness. I just don't understand how to let go of her, its tearing me apart. I now feel back to square one with everything. I hate this. I tried to be the best boyfriend I could, admittedly I have trust issues but I tried, and i gave that girl so much love, my absolute everything. I don't know what to do now, how do I move on? How do I actually accept this, she's blatantly told me its over but I can't accept it, i need help You need to realise that you will hurt and let yourself go through that period. There's no quick fix. Plan some things to do over the next few days, even though you won't want to. And go NC. She's made herself blatantly clear and now you HAVE to let go no matter how much it will hurt you. You are only 19, you shouldn't be hurting this much and you shouldn't be putting your life on hold for anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy12 Posted April 19, 2017 Author Share Posted April 19, 2017 You need to realise that you will hurt and let yourself go through that period. There's no quick fix. Plan some things to do over the next few days, even though you won't want to. And go NC. She's made herself blatantly clear and now you HAVE to let go no matter how much it will hurt you. You are only 19, you shouldn't be hurting this much and you shouldn't be putting your life on hold for anyone. Hi, Yeah thats it now, its full clearance, its going to be hard but i need to deal with it, life could be worse lets be honest. I've just spent a whole load of money on gym supplements and im going to get into that again, I have always been going but never been proper focused. I am in shape but can do better, this whole things knocked my confidence and lowered my self esteem so i really need to build it back up. Still floating in that denial stage that all this has happened but I need to realise and Im starting to realise that It wont last forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart of gold Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 Good. Small steps and you will get there. Realisation and acceptance are the first steps to success! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 It sounds like she wanted some room to breathe and not feel so smothered. If you were controlling, jealous, insecure, etc then you weren't "the best boyfriend". Go no contact, let her miss you and work on these issues. I need to focus on my own happiness. admittedly I have trust issues but I tried Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy12 Posted April 19, 2017 Author Share Posted April 19, 2017 It sounds like she wanted some room to breathe and not feel so smothered. If you were controlling, jealous, insecure, etc then you weren't "the best boyfriend". Go no contact, let her miss you and work on these issues. Yeah i understand that. I wasnt controlling, I just never gave her the trust she deserved, she was loyal to me and I never saw it, only realizing now she is gone. No contact is going to happen from today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyJedi Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Yeah i understand that. I wasnt controlling, I just never gave her the trust she deserved, she was loyal to me and I never saw it, only realizing now she is gone. No contact is going to happen from today. I know how you feel, my ex-fiance left me last month. Talk about love!! We were together since we were 18 and last month we turned 24, she broke up with me a week before our birthdays. She has been unnecessarily cruel since then and has been spreading lies and engaging in self-destructive behavior (shopping sprees, dropping out of school, bar hopping, etc). Believe me, I understand the pain you are going through. My ex is probably thinking that I was controlling, when really I didn't think I was. The guilt is eating me alive, because I am beginning to question myself on whether or not I was TRULY controlling or not. Regardless, you need to go NC and not talk to her. Don't hurt yourself trying to make it work either. Put yourself back out there, but don't rush it. Take your time to deal with the emotions as they come and realize that there are better people out there for you than a woman who is pulling at your heartstrings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebeccaLynn Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 IF she is stopping her self from seeing you there is a good reason. If you love her, you will wait for her. she's telling you she needs time and space to sort out her feelings. take a few steps back and a few deep breaths and allow her to have the space she needs. be around to listen to her but just wait till she's ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.