tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 So, hello. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend (Taylor, we are lesbians) for almost a year. We're extremely close, in love, and very serious. We plan to get married and have a family. However, recently I was looking at some of her old messages to some of her friends on Facebook. I was just bored, and I just wanted to see what her and her friends talked about. Well, as I was reading, I came across messages and pictures of my girlfriends ex (let's refer to the ex girlfriend as M). My girlfriend, Taylor, was telling her friend about how she loved M and she would never ever get over her and how she loved her and that would never ever change. Please keep in mind, these messages were from about 10 months ago before I met Taylor. The messages talked about M and how Taylor loves hugging her, and how she'd do anything for her, that she wanted to grow old with M, etc... So yes, I read all that and it really upset me because for one, that's my girlfriend now and I love her and it hurt to see that Taylor had said those things about another girl, that she'd always love that one girl no matter what. It also hurt me because Taylor tells me all of those things - she loves me and that will never ever change and she wants to grow old with me, etc. Should I be upset? Should I ever care? I mean, she loves me and I love her but I still felt hurt to read that about another girl? Someone help... I'm extremely confused and hurt, but I don't know if I should be. Please message me and be nice to me. I just need a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 No, you can't be upset. Those messages were sent before she met you. Is this your first relationship? If not, then surely you've cared for someone else? How would you feel if Taylor got mad at you for caring about someone in your past? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 And please, I've read some replies to people's post and they weren't that nice. I'm not looking for criticism or anything mean. I just want to know if what I'm feeling is okay - that maybe it's okay to feel hurt when you saw how your significant other felt about someone else besides you. Please private message me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 No, you can't be upset. Those messages were sent before she met you. Is this your first relationship? If not, then surely you've cared for someone else? How would you feel if Taylor got mad at you for caring about someone in your past? I think I would see that she was upset about how I talked to someone else. We're very much alike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Please private message me. As a new member your PM has not been activated. You'll need a lot more posts before that happens. Meantime, the general public can respond here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 I think I would see that she was upset about how I talked to someone else. We're very much alike. That doesn't really answer my question. So are your past relationships something that she can be mad about? Do you think that's fair? Before you even knew each other existed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 No, you can't be upset. Those messages were sent before she met you. Is this your first relationship? If not, then surely you've cared for someone else? How would you feel if Taylor got mad at you for caring about someone in your past? And also, I don't think it's okay to just tell someone that they can't be upset. We feel how we feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Should I be upset? Should I ever care? I mean, she loves me and I love her but I still felt hurt to read that about another girl? Someone help... I'm extremely confused and hurt, but I don't know if I should be. Please message me and be nice to me. I just need a friend. You asked... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabinete Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 tayadanielle, if it bothers you; maybe you should leave her for someone new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 tayadanielle, if it bothers you; maybe you should leave her for someone new. But she loves Taylor and wants to marry her, which means all future partners can be upset at her. (I'm being intentionally facetious to prove a point. I'm not trying to be vindictive.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 tayadanielle, if it bothers you; maybe you should leave her for someone new. That's not really appropriate to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 That doesn't really answer my question. So are your past relationships something that she can be mad about? Do you think that's fair? Before you even knew each other existed? And yeah, she'd be upset if she saw me talk about someone else like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 It's the past. We all have a past. YOU have a past. You can't change that, so what's the point in getting all upset over things you cannot change? Seriously. Worry about the present and the future. What's done is done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 So you're telling me, that if you were in a serious relationship and you read that your significant other would always love someone else, that wouldn't upset you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 Seriously, think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 So you're telling me, that if you were in a serious relationship and you read that your significant other would always love someone else, that wouldn't upset you? Correct, yes, it wouldn't upset me. I thought I would always love my ex. Now I don't. Things change. So say you break up. Does that mean you are forever tainted and can never love anyone else? Ever? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 Correct, yes, it wouldn't upset me. I thought I would always love my ex. Now I don't. Things change. So say you break up. Does that mean you are forever tainted and can never love anyone else? Ever? You seriously aren't helping. Stop making me feel like I'm completely ing wrong. Just stop commenting on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 I don't have to think about it. I am secure within my relationship. I am secure within myself. I don't waste energy on the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 You seriously aren't helping. Stop making me feel like I'm completely ing wrong. Just stop commenting on this. I am helping - you asked a question and I answered. I'm sorry it's not the answer you want. We are just trying to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Just stop commenting on this. OP, please stop telling people to stop commenting. This is a public message board and you asked for advice/opinions. That's exactly what you'll get. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Did you love before this person? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 Get out of my god damn face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tayadanielle Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 I didn't ask for people to be rude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Thread closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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