Dumpers.... Am I going crazy?

[xtinaa829]

My live in boyfriend of 4 years just broke up with me for many issues, but mostly because he thought I was lazy and was never in the mood for anything. I begged him not to leave and thag things would change, because i knew what the issues was with me but was too afraid to say it out loud, I thought I had a brain tumor because I was always dizzy and had headaches and never wanted to get off the couch. - This had gone on for a year, plus, I know, I was just so fearful I was going to die, I thought I'd rather not know. With that decision, it ruined my relationship with him. We would fight all the time, he would get mad because I was always laying around. So, one fight turned into a breakup. This, unfortunately, was the moment I blurted out that I thought I was dying. I ended up going to the ER that day and found out that it is sever anxiety disorder and depression.

 

Anyways, he still thought that that wouldn't change anything in our relationship. We sat down and talked for hours, about everything we hope the other accomplishes, everything were going to miss, everything we love about each other. Told each other we still love one another. We did some research on taking a break. Now, I realize this should happen before a break up, but his actions and words were he wanted to stay, but couldn't handle it anymore. He said that a break sounded like a great idea, because he's not interested in other women, just fixing himself and wants me to get healthy. We also agreed on couples therapy, which months ago when all the arguing started, I suggested, and he declined stongly.

 

So he left. He packed up his stuff and walked out. However, he left his childrens things, clothes, beds, shoes, pictures... and he left a few things of his own. He also still has the house keys and my car key, and I have his car key.

 

I guess I'm looking for hope, I know I'm in denial. I know I may be looking at something that isn't there. But, being devastated is not how I want to feel right now. I want to hold on. I want to believe.

 

He keeps telling me he loves me and wants it to work, but he doesn't know anymore. I'm trying to give him his space.

 

What are we doing???

[Annia]

I'm very sorry you're going through this. I think your main priority now is deal with your anxiety and depression. He might love you and I'm sure he does, but sometimes that's not enough to keep a relationship. It's a great thing he wants to work things out and even couples therapy. However now your main focus should be you and your health. And maybe when you feel better you are better suited for a relationship (this one or another one).

 

Good luck.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened but it's good you got a start on some treatment. Find some excellent doctors for a full medical workup and a referral to a therapist. Are you on disability? How do you support yourself?

 

4 yrs is a long time and he's done after years of this. Go no contact and use this time and space to focus on healing and pulling your life back together.. If he wants that stuff, he'll contact you. Change your locks.

I ended up going to the ER that day and found out that it is sever anxiety disorder and depression.So he left. He packed up his stuff and walked out. However, he left his childrens things, clothes, beds, shoes, pictures... and he left a few things of his own. He also still has the house keys and my car key, and I have his car key.