moonchild12344 Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 Okay so this is going to be a long one but bear with me, I'm in a really tough spot and I really need some advice. So 3 weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. He's always been sort of hot and cold, when we first got together he took like 6 months to tell me he loved me, and then once he did he would be back and forth on it. Then one day he decided that was really how he felt. He says now that he knows he loves me without a shadow of a doubt and there is no question on his mind, even after we broke up he still says he loves me. We've also broken up and gotten back together several times, usually after like 3 days we'll end up talking and he tells me that he misses me and wants to get back together. The last time this happened he was literally in tears. He said he feels like he's going crazy because he loves me so much but then we break up and then he wants me back. So anyways, this all started when he told me he wanted to move back to school about a month ago. He said that he just needed to be there to make connections and such, which I understood because he's in a career where that's necessary for his growth. He told me that he didn't know how often he'd be back and asked me if that was something that I could handle, and if it wasn't he understood. He said that either way we were going to say close and connected and that we would get back together eventually anyways. He said that he loved me more then anyone he's ever loved in his life and that we're going to get married one day, and that I'm going to have his babies. He told me that I'm the most amazing woman he's ever met and that we both know we were made to be together and that I was made for him. So then about a week or two after this is when we broke up. He said that we needed to talk in the texts and I told him that if we were doing this again then we didn't need to talk about it. He told me that he loved me and he still wanted to stay close and connected but he just didn't want to be in a relationship right now. Then we talked 3 days later and he told me that it hurts and it sucks for him too but he knows this is the right thing to do. He told me that he loves me and he doesn't want to ruin us forever because he keeps going back and forth on me so he thinks that if he works through he commitment issues now on his own and finishes school he'll be more willing to devote himself to a relationship. At one point in the conversation he was like "Don't you see what I'm doing? I'm trying to protect you and us". He also said that there's a chance that that doesn't happen though and he said that he was saying that because although he thinks it will he doesn't want to like to me and keep making me promises that things will be a certain way and then there not (like he did when we kept breaking up and he would say we weren't going to again). He didn't want to sit next to me when we talked because it was too hard for him and he was trying to stay strong because he believes this is the right thing to do right now. Then I ran into him 2 days later at the gym and I told him I started reading a book about commitment that he had ordered. He told me to send it his way when I was done, so that night I told him that I finished it and he could have it and he told me that he would get it from me next week when he picked up his stuff from my house and that he could leave my key if I wasn't home. I told him I'd rather he just get it now because there was no point in waiting and he was like "Are you sure?" I said yeah and then he came over. We talked a little and I told him that I think we should talk to a counselor to see if this is the right move to make and he told me in the summer we could when he comes back from school but he didn't want to now because he finally doesn't feel confused for once ever. I tried to have sex with him and kiss him and he told me no; he freaked out and said that hes too emotional for that and that he's taken the last week to get to the point where he was at now and he didn't want to be back at square one. He said that "these things will happen again, well kiss again and have sex again, it just cant happen right now because im too emotional, im sorry, dont be mad at me, i love you, im sorry". He got his stuff and left. Two days later I texted him telling him my daughter wanted to snap chat him, I asked him if he wanted to maintain a relationship with her in the event that we get back together, he told me no at first because he "didn't want to be in and out of her life like that if we didn't get back together, although i hope that doesn't happen it shouldn't be ignored", then after i explained to him that that's exactly what he would be doing he said he agreed with me and to let her send him snapchats if she wants to. Then we didn't talk for 2 weeks. I ran into him this morning at the gym. It was awkward at first, he asked if I was still friends with his sister, i told him yes, he said whatever happened with us shouldn't affect my relationship with her, i told him it wouldn't. I asked him when he was leaving for school, he told me he wasn't sure what he was doing because he just got an interview here. I told him that I wouldnt go to the gym in the morning then so we didnt have to run into eachother, he said it was fine and i didnt have to do that and that if he was that concerned with running into me he would just check my location on our phones (we share our location). when i asked him why he hasnt turned it off he said that he thought i would lose my . i told him i wouldnt and to turn it off if he wanted to. he still hasnt and that was this morning. I asked him if he was at a place where we could be friends. He asked if i was and if it messed with me when we saw eachother and i told him that i missed him being in my life and talking to him more than anything. He said that its still hard for him but etter then it was, and then told me that he was cool with us talking. I told him that if he still felt that way later that he had my number and could text me and we would go from there. Basically I'm wondering what you guys see here... Do you think we'll get back together? Do you think it will be okay? Or do you think I should let that go and stop hanging on to it? I'm having a hard time accepting that it could actually be over forever.. we were so good together. He still agrees that there was so many good things about our relationship. Should I give him space to handle what he needs to handle and just be optimistic? IDK!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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