They make my head spin....

[Meesh1113]

My friend and her coworker confuse the literal f*** out of me. My friend is pretty young looking for her age, late 20s but mistaken for teenager or younger. The guy I believe is also in his late 20s too. I believe both may be interested in one other but unsure.

 

Each seem to avoid one another a lot. He does this thing where he avoids her for a few hours to all day and then shows interests and/or concerns for her wellbeing at random intervals.***she was sick at the time, she's always goddamn sick with something ***. She will talk to him if she runs into him and only if he initiates it. She's very shy and reserved. He's outgoing but I can sense his insecurities.

 

A few times I've actually heard him sighing or walking loudly when he passes her desk, as if he wants her to notice him but she’s usually distracted or working. She “claims” it's probably something else bothering him for such actions. He's interrupted her before when she's busy and she'll give him his full attention. So I don't know!!

 

And some reason lunch time neither of them talk to each other which I don't understand. Most of the time she leaves halfway thru lunch because I know she has social anxiety and he's always chatting up with the other girls at the lunch table but will occasionally glance at her. But NEITHER talk to each other.

 

He actually completely ignored her once, talking to one of her coworkers and then walked off. Seconds later he comes back, mumbles something to her while fist bumping with her then darts off. She has no idea what he said but she seemed stunned yet a bit happy he acknowledged her. However later he ignores her again. Then she's sad again wondering what she did wrong ?????

 

She does tend to ignore him too though without meaning too. I have told her she acts distant at times and she in return doesn't know how to fix it or why it happens. She has trust issues and the anxiety I know. Certain....people really f***ed her up emotionally. And she recently lost her mother. I know on certain occasions he tried befriending her, but she's hesitant. Doesn't understand why he wants to.

 

Oddly, he has 2x complimented her on her shoes (does that mean anything???) but she ignored it. Though in her defense she also lost her voice from the cold she had. I know she was really unwell and spacey. They occasionally text in which SHE actually initiates, but he doesn't text much. She's unsure of how to talk to him. She has told him she felt guilty for everything and that she was truly sorry. No response back though.

 

They both make my head hurt. I don't understand why either act so oddly around each other. There's other scenarios too that are even more confusing. They used to be really good buddies, goofing off surprisingly but I don't know what happened for the sudden change? I definitely can feel chemistry between the two. They are SO alike in so many ways but also very different. I know he used to be in a long term relationship prior that went sour, and well she's never actually dated or hung around socially much with people until recently. She spent the last 6-7yrs taking care of her ill mother/grandmother who tragically both passed away due to incurable diseases that they had. She also worked two jobs and at the time college before she dropped out to help the family. She gave up a lot.

[Chevroledy]

You have to ask them both if they are interested in one another, or this will never get anywhere. She is going to need a push, from him. Depending on how much you care about these two, you get to be a moderator until they get their acts together, yay! It's scary how similar this predicament is to someone I knew. She was very shy, but was captivated by this man, who showed interest in her but didn't get his act together.

 

It's not really your job to help them, but you are her friend, so suck it up. Tell him she is interested in him if he hesitates out of insecurity. She is probably scared to death of deep/intense feelings, as are most shy people. He is going to have to prove to her that he wants to be with her if that is what he wants, as she sounds like she is really insecure about his feelings. Your friend doesn't understand why people like her, it usually stems from an emotional injury from her past.

 

Be the matchmaker. Get them together in small group activities so they can begin to feel comfortable with each other.

[abitbroken]

I don't see anything here that would make me think they have the hots for eachother. Or do you mean she is interested in him? I don't really see much of an indication that he is interested in her. she works with him so i would encourage her to meet men outside of work. Maybe she needs to get out more or join some clubs