Still affected by what he did?

[Person1001]

I have continued dating after the guy I really liked lied to me and played w/my emotions. I have gone completely NC and blocked him on everything. For some reason I still feel really down about him despite getting a ton of attention from other guys (btw I don't seek attention from men). In life, I am secure about myself, I'm not self conscious about my looks, work life or life in general. I guess it hurts how little empathy and sympathy he showed towards me when he hurt me. Why do I feel this way?

[SherrySher]

A few reasons. He hurt your pride and he also disappointed you in making you think he was trustworthy and someone who wouldn't hurt or betray you, but he did. And finally, because you felt he cared but in the end proved that he didn't. All reasons why you are still feeling the upset from it all.

All you can do now is accept what happened, don't let it make you have less trust in others (as not everyone will do these things to you), and try to let go and forget about him. He was not good to you and will never be worthwhile of your time.

[Wiseman2]

Breakups suck. It's like looking forward to a nice familiar meal and suddenly it's spoiled or there's a dead bat in it. Good things just go bad.

 

"A dead bat found inside a bagged salad sold at a Florida Walmart has prompted a regional recall and an investigation by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which has warned Americans not to eat salad from such packages.

 

Two people discovered the bat after they had already eaten some of the salad in a bag of Organic Marketside Spring Mix. They alerted authorities, who sent the bat to a CDC rabies lab. The animal’s decayed state prevented a definitive test of whether it had rabies"

 

]

[Person1001]

A few reasons. He hurt your pride and he also disappointed you in making you think he was trustworthy and someone who wouldn't hurt or betray you, but he did. And finally, because you felt he cared but in the end proved that he didn't. All reasons why you are still feeling the upset from it all.

All you can do now is accept what happened, don't let it make you have less trust in others (as not everyone will do these things to you), and try to let go and forget about him. He was not good to you and will never be worthwhile of your time.

 

No I will hold other guys responsible for his actions, but I def will not let any guys play me like that. Now I am a lot less tolerant of 1/2 @ss pre dating behavior.

[anonymous34]

I have continued dating after the guy I really liked lied to me and played w/my emotions. I have gone completely NC and blocked him on everything. For some reason I still feel really down about him despite getting a ton of attention from other guys (btw I don't seek attention from men). In life, I am secure about myself, I'm not self conscious about my looks, work life or life in general. I guess it hurts how little empathy and sympathy he showed towards me when he hurt me. Why do I feel this way?

 

Hey, Im sorry you're going through this.. I totally get it.. its totally normal... i went through the same exact same thing he also told me he started seeing someone yikes that hurt.. i just didnt think he would just drop me like that.. i too have blocked all communication and feel pretty bad .. cried yesterday... cried today... and probably will cry later tonight.. I am human.. i cared a bout someone who was not that into me... ill move on and laugh at this guy when im older and more settled.. but its normal i will grieve .. and it will be ok. I used this opportunity to fully focus on myself .. focusing on my health and diet.

 

WIsh you the best.

[Person1001]

Hey, Im sorry you're going through this.. I totally get it.. its totally normal... i went through the same exact same thing he also told me he started seeing someone yikes that hurt.. i just didnt think he would just drop me like that.. i too have blocked all communication and feel pretty bad .. cried yesterday... cried today... and probably will cry later tonight.. I am human.. i cared a bout someone who was not that into me... ill move on and laugh at this guy when im older and more settled.. but its normal i will grieve .. and it will be ok. I used this opportunity to fully focus on myself .. focusing on my health and diet.

 

WIsh you the best.

 

The stupid thing is I only knew him a couple weeks, then again being blocked for no reason and being lied to about it really had an affect on me.

[newtothegame98]

The stupid thing is I only knew him a couple weeks, then again being blocked for no reason and being lied to about it really had an affect on me.

 

I'm in the same situation. Short relationship, I really cared, she didn't. She ended it, blocked me, ignores me in public, etc. It hurts. Especially because I feel a lot of unrequited love, but still hold out a bit of hope. It's rough, really rough sometimes. "Absent to the eyes, but not the heart". Best advice is to move on. Try meeting someone unique. Hope things get easier 4 u

[ConfusedGirl7]

I feel the same exact way as you it really hurts! Why don't they care about our feelings? We have done nothing bad to them. My guy got back w his ex so I'm here sad n he's happy in a relationship n cares nothing about me. It's so hurtful.

[ConfusedGirl7]

I'm so sorry. You described exactly how I'm feeling. We will get through this. You are definitely not alone.

[GeekLover]

No I will hold other guys responsible for his actions, but I def will not let any guys play me like that. Now I am a lot less tolerant of 1/2 @ss pre dating behavior.

 

I'm not sure it's fair that you hold other guys responsible for his actions. Perhaps you meant you *won't* hold them responsible?

 

Other than that, yes, I agree. It sounds like you learned something from this short relationship which you will bring forward to your next one. Rest assured, because of this, it will be stronger and more viable.

[Person1001]

I'm not sure it's fair that you hold other guys responsible for his actions. Perhaps you meant you *won't* hold them responsible?

 

Other than that, yes, I agree. It sounds like you learned something from this short relationship which you will bring forward to your next one. Rest assured, because of this, it will be stronger and more viable.

 

Thank you, this one left a super bitter taste in my mouth.

[catfeeder]

I find it helpful to always decide whether my experiences will make me weaker or better. Since we each get to control our own responses to stuff, I opted to focus on resilience as a skill I wanted to learn. I adopted control over how much energy and power I'll give anyone else over my life and my thinking.

 

I don't play a good victim. I don't find anything motivating about such a role, and the only place it's ever gotten me is a deeper hole to climb out of after a momentary fall into feeling good about feeling bad. I'd rather just focus on climbing and recognizing places of higher ground as I reach those. I look back on occasion and forgive myself for any mistakes I've made along the way, but by reaching higher altitude, my vision sees those as necessary learning devices in the larger scheme of things.

 

When you can move yourself out of your own way, you can gain the distance you need from any event to look back with a larger perspective. The rub is, you can only get to that place if you're unwilling to stagnate and amplify the stuff you want to move past. Holding grudges doesn't impact anyone else--it just keeps us stuck under the weight.

 

Head high, and when in hell, don't stop.