How to get a girl's trust back?

[Marcus522]

My girlfriend and I are graduate students and 25 years old.

 

My girlfriend of 6 months says I lost her trust, and thinks that there is no way she will feel like I can get her trust back again.

 

I was out with her and friends, and I had my hand on her friend's lower back for 5 seconds. She got really pissed, told me she needed time. 24 hours later, she then proceeded to breaking up with me.

 

I was able to convince her to rethink the situation, and she said she needed no contact for a month. I was able to convince her to let me send her hand-written notes 2-3 times a week. Still, when I asked her when we could see each other normally again and be a couple, she says she really doesn't know.

 

I did something stupid, where I said something I did not mean. I told her that I would hurt myself, and she explained to me that this really scared her. She now thinks that I may hurt her as well and is scared of me. I explained to her that I did not mean it, that I wouldn't do that because I have a loving family, and that I would go into counseling. Still, she's too fearful.

 

We love each other, but she's just scared and lost trust in me for such a small thing, and I don't know what to do to regain her trust again.

 

I know people are saying break up, but I would at least like to try before doing that. If I gave up, I would regret a lot, because I really do love this woman.

 

If it matters, she's a conservative christian Korean girl.

[Floorguy]

Seems to me she's looking for a way out...I mean cmon hand in her lower back or where u grabbing her ass... I mean if it was a harmless hand on the back then she's gonna be nothing but a head case buddy and u should run it will only get worse over time to the point if your looking the wrong way she's gonna think your up to something I would ru. From that

[agent1607307371]

So you touched her friends butt, then when your gf broke up with you, you made a threat of self-harm? Honestly, I think you need some time away from relationships to work on yourself. Neither of those things were cool, but the second one shows you in a very disturbing light.

[Wiseman2]

Do not send notes, convince, beg, plead, threaten self harm, etc.

 

All manipulative and do not engender trust. In fact these things solidify her decision to end it.

 

It was only 6 mos of dating so these incompatibilities and trust and flirting, etc come up. Let go and leave her alone before she calls the cops.

My girlfriend of 6 months says I lost her trust, and thinks that there is no way she will feel like I can get her trust back again. I told her that I would hurt myself, and she explained to me that this really scared her. She now thinks that I may hurt her as well and is scared of me

[limichelle]

Why was your hand there in the first place?

 

Yeah time to let her have her space.

 

Lisa

[j.man]

Sorry, bud. If the ass grab didn't seal the deal, then holding her emotionally hostage with your threat to self-harm certainly did.

 

Not really something you can expect to recover from. Take some time off and start fresh with another gal.

[Knight2001]

i agree with j.man - it's time to move on.

never threaten self harm and dont touch up your girlfriend's friends.

[catfeeder]

Threatening to self harm is a deal breaker. Applying more pressure after that can get you a jail term. I'd quit this and take some valuable lessons from it to move on. If you continue to pursue, you're crossing the creepy line.