Should I Have Sent Him That Text ?!

[Fiskergirl]

I met this guy who works at my local casino about 4 months ago. He is 23 + I am 47. As far as I know he doesn't have a girlfriend+ I am separated and have no children. Before you pre-judge me on the age difference my parents are 21 years apart and have been married for over 40 years!! I have talked with this guy several times a week. He is a slot attendant so I talk to him while he is working. The problem is sometimes he will come over and talk to me and other times he won't. Part of his job is guest interaction so he will not get in trouble for talking with me. A lot of times he will just walk right by me but claims he looks past people a lot of times and doesn't notice them and that's a problem of his+ he says that even his coworkers sometimes can't get his attention. It's frustrating because I feel that he talks to me when it's convenient to him. He told me he likes to talk to me and trusts me and I know a lot about him that most people don't. He found his Mom dead 3 yrs ago from a heart attack so I don't know if I'm more like his mother, a friend or he wanted it to be more?

 

Two weeks ago during a snowstorm he stood and talked to me for over 2 hrs and was overly nice. We would text periodically but in the last 2 weeks I started noticing the last few texts I sent him it would take him 36 hours to just read them but he would then respond. I sent him a text then asking if something was wrong because it seemed like at the casino he would stop by and talk for a minute then leave and say he would be back but he wouldn't come back which probably 40% of the time that's what he would do. He claimed nothing was wrong but I didn't feel it was sincere so I asked if we could go out and talk about it away from the casino which we had never done. He said yes we could go to dinner but again I did not feel it was sincere by the way he was acting and the tone of the text. So I decided to send him a text and tell him that I'm cutting off contact with him, I'm walking away because it's just too stressful the way he's been treating me and I don't think anyone deserves to be treated like that. I told him it was very disrespectful not to keep reading my texts for at least 36 hours when I know he wasn't busy. Two days later I sent him a text and said I'm sorry I just want to get together and make peace and he sent me a text back saying that he'll be fine he won't make it uncomfortable at the casino for either of us. So in other words he didn't even want to talk about it. I came face-to-face with him the other day at the casino and I said hi how are you and he said hi I'm fine but he was very rude and did not smile. So now I'm wondering if he really is upset that I did that to him and no longer want to talk or see him . I miss his friendship dearly even though that's all we were was friends.. We were not romantic at all even though I did have a huge crush on him . I miss all the talks we had. He told me that he really doesn't talk to too many people + he's put a wall up around himself and I think that has to do with his mom's death. I really really want to text him or stop him and just ask if we could please talk. I feel so bad. Please give me advice-this is keeping me up every night and I regret so much sending him that text. Maybe I was just a bother to him and he's glad we don't talk anymore but after his reaction when we came face to face I'm second guessing everything! Do you feel I should try to contact him again or take the hint that he blatantly wants nothing to do with me ?????

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately this was never a relationship, just friendly chatting. So sending a breakup text makes no sense. It sounds like you are angry he wavered on your dinner invitation.

 

He must feel awkward because he's at work and that text was quite dramatic for someone you've had a few talks with.

 

Try to be polite buy lay back on things. He may not want the complications of being hit on at work by customers.

He is 23 + I am 47. I am separated. He is a slot attendant so I talk to him while he is working. Part of his job is guest interaction. I don't know if I'm more like his mother, a friend or he wanted it to be more? I asked if we could go out and talk about it away from the casino which we had never done. He said yes we could go to dinner but again I did not feel it was sincere by the way he was acting and the tone of the text. I did have a huge crush on him.

[abitbroken]

I agree that there was no relationship. You guys never went out on dates. In fact, casino and restaurant employess are encouraged to chat customers up so they feel special and will gamble more. It does seem that you had established a deeper connection than that, however, it was not a relationship. it was potentially a friendship that was starting. If he didn't get back to you 40% of the time at the casino, he was likely busy working, called away, having to actually do his job. I think you were very emotionally invested in him. I think you telling him the relationship was over kinda surprised him - he wasn't thinking it was a relationship and he may avoid you now completely because that came off as super strange.

 

Also, why are you at the casino so much? Do you also work there in a different capacity? If you don't and you just go there a lot to eat the food or gamble your troubles away, maybe you need to make some friends elsewhere.

[Fiskergirl]

Thanks to you wise man and a bit broken for your replies. To answer your question as to why I'm at the casino so much it's because I'm offered free rooms so I'm taking advantage of them since my husband+I are separated and I'm not living at my house. Since our business is seasonal+just closed he will be heading to our vacation home for the summer so I will now have a place to stay. Also I shortened the post and took out the part where I said that this guy who works at casino came up to my store to visit ME a month or two ago !! I guess the post sounded too much like it was all one-sided but it wasn't ! I agree with what you both said, I guess I was just angry because I would sit there+listen to him, his stories, etc but then in return he wouldn't respect me by reading my texts. I felt it was disrespectful of him when all the time I would sit there+listen to what he had to say. But you guys are absolutely right.Looking back now it was overly dramatic but on the flip side I'm not 100% to blame. BUT that's why I wanted to talk with him to apologize and just make sure he's ok since he used to confide a lot in me and he tends to bottle everything up. So I just want to make sure he's ok!! That's my main concern now!!