lorenday Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 It's 6 months since the split, we were together 18 yrs and had 2 kids, but he was an alcoholic and drug addict and I was very unhappy and unsettled, he wouldn't marry me, his name wasn't on any bills, he earned little money and didn't participate in the family much.The last 6 months have been a blessed relief from his presence, from the tension and anger and rows and rage. Our home is a nicer place to be since he left and the kids are much happier. I've just bought a house with help from my parents, something he would never agree to or earn enough for, and I couldn't wait to start fresh with the kids. Yet since I signed for it s couple days ago all I do is cry. I feel sick to my stomach and I find myself wishing he was here to do this with me, I feel alone for the first time. It's as if I'm only just realising that it's over. I can't feel happy at the new house as it has work to do there and I have to leave our old rental, pull down his sheds and clear his garden and it grieves me. I'm angry and terrified that I'm feeling this way suddenly at what should be a happy time. There's no way we could go back and I was desperately unhappy so why am I constantly thinking if him now? It's like I'm sabotaging my first chance at a good life for me and the kids and I hate myself for suddenly missing him Link to comment
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