Feel like I am in stasis

[Havok20]

I really can't even describe the feelings I get in the middle of the night other than crippling. I wake up several times with this fleeting moment of happiness for a second like we are together, then reality hits and I know we are not.

 

I just hurt so bad, I am trying to better myself and do this for me, but at the same time the memories we shared haunt me in the morning and I want to just get back with her so bad or say or do something that will change her mind. She left before our relationship was even over for someone else, but I sadly could even forgive her for that and work on us. I don't know what to do other than push on, but I feel like a husk. The smiles, laughs, conversations, looks, touches, feelings, smells, everything just floods in and makes me want to just die at points.

 

I love'd you... What happened?

[LondonMan33]

I really can't even describe the feelings I get in the middle of the night other than crippling. I wake up several times with this fleeting moment of happiness for a second like we are together, then reality hits and I know we are not.

 

I just hurt so bad, I am trying to better myself and do this for me, but at the same time the memories we shared haunt me in the morning and I want to just get back with her so bad or say or do something that will change her mind. She left before our relationship was even over for someone else, but I sadly could even forgive her for that and work on us. I don't know what to do other than push on, but I feel like a husk. The smiles, laughs, conversations, looks, touches, feelings, smells, everything just floods in and makes me want to just die at points.

 

I love'd you... What happened?

 

 

I was in exactly the same boat 5 weeks ago. I know exactly what you mean. Its obviously still hard for me as its all still raw . but if I can give you one bit of advice that has helped me BIG TIME it is this. 2 weeks ago I walked into the doctors like a zombie . totally and utterly shattered and lost. I told her why I was like this , She listened and prescribed me 20mg Fluoxetine tablets. I can honestly say today after 2 weeks I feel like a new person. They have picked me up from the bottom of hells furnace and brought me back into the world , this is only after 2 weeks. things will get a lot better too. I have had no side effects at all from them and feel so much better.it was the best decision I made . Please have a think about it. they really do help take away all the pain and anxiety . time does the rest.

[RebeccaLynn]

Your suffering with a broken heart. Your not alone, I have one too. You need time and several big distractions! I try to read, it works... sometimes. or watch Tv, it works sometimes. go for a walk outside. I personally wish I could spend more time working. but since I only have a part time job. I clean like the devils chasing me. it's not easy, you have to work yourself thru it, and so often you want to give up. but it's like Pink says. Just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try. let me know if you want to talk. Oh and sometimes there are no words to describe the amount of pain.

[melancholy123]

I like LondonMan's advice. Please go see your doctor for some help.

[Bob2526]

It really sucks and the pain will be there but you just have to go through it. It gets better and do things that you enjoy and that's helped me. It's been three months since my break up and it took about two months for the pain to finally subside. I still think about her daily but it's not as bad or obsessive. It kind of helped that she starting seeing someone else and that also strangely helped me to let go and move on. I'm still not where I want to be but I can feel myself getting there. Be strong you'll get through this.

[GeekLover]

I agree with getting some medication too. There are certainly other things you should be doing, such as what RL just listed, but there's nothing wrong with popping a pill or two for some extra help.

 

I'm on 10mg of escitalopram for anxiety. In the first few weeks, I'd feel the need to double my dose some mornings. It was probably not the best thing to do on my own, but I did what I needed to.

 

Time really is your friend though. I'm almost 4 months NC now and I'm no longer a zombie. I smile more, I laugh more, and my future is beginning to show glimmers of light and hope. Of course I still get in ruts, but they aren't full day ruts like they were. More like for an hour or less. It's much easier to shake it off and pull myself out of it now. I'd say I fluctuate between anger and acceptance if we're talking grief stages.

 

If you haven't already, you also need to go dark on social media. Stop posting on anything you know she is on. It's empowering to know your ex is unable to keep any tabs on you, and it prevents you from checking up on them. I started this over 3 weeks ago now and it has made a WORLD of difference.

 

Hugs. It will get better.

[lorenday]

You're already doing what you need to which is pushing on and getting through each day. That's all there really is at this stage plus possibly some medical help. I went through a divorce from the father of my two children and literally wanted to die. I went on Prozac it was wonderful, a whole new world opened up once the pain in my head and heart was alleviated. It was only for 6 months but it got me through to the other side, and now I could walk past that man on the street and honestly not bat an eyelid. I am very thankful I chose to go for help and not self harm, my daughter's are now adults and I have two more children and I shudder to remember how low I got. When you have dark days you have to remember you are not in your right mind now but you will find yourself again very soon. You will be wiser, stronger, and happier one day soon. Don't be afraid to reach out for help to get yourself back.

[Dreamfunk]

London man

I could do with your help. Just caught my ex girlfriend having sex with some bloke

We split 3 days ago

I'm in uk thank you