Graysfan Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 So, I posted on here 2 years ago when I went through a horrendously painful heartbreak and reading other people's responses and advice really helped. I took therapy for 18 months, read books, went to the gym, reconnected with friends and family and actually, the break up was the best thing that ever happened to me. I found who I was without a partner, and gained a lot of mental strength and was genuinely very very happy. I've also just come back from 3/4 of a year traveling and teaching abroad which would never have happened had I been in a relationship. Before I left however, a guy from work and I began dating for 3 months. Even though I was leaving we still decided to date. Neither of us had clicked with anyone in a few years, he was a perfect gentleman, mature and sophisticated and very lovely. He did have some anxiety issues and the limited timing we had meant we spent a lot of time together which made his anxiety quite intense. I suggested therapy and couple of other things to make him feel better about his life. I then left to go abroad and we decided to not continue our relationship as I didn't even know if I was coming back. But I didn't stop missing him. Now that I've returned, we met up and he said apologised for being in such a bad place and putting me through that. He said he's learnt to not be so open with peoole because that makes him vulnerable which sounds very unhealthy to me. He's also in a much better place now and has done all the things I put in that list for him including therapy (with MY company that I have therapy with byw) He said that he'd let it go, gotten over us and thinks we are not 'suited' for each other. What I don't understand is why he got back in contact with me, added me back on Fb a few weeks before. Was it just so he could meet me to apologize because I said I was never friends with exes and so totally minterpreted why he got back in contact! It seems now he's in a better place hes totally disregarded me. I feel like I've provided a service for the last 2 men I've been with. At the beginning, I'm the strong, independent, together one. I help them with their issued and then as soon as they're fine, they leave, and I'm left nursing quite deep self-esteem and rejection wounds. He said he wants to meet me and 'owes' me an explanation of why he thinks we're not suited but I don't think I can go through that type of emotional battering especially after my last break up. Do I want to hear about all the things that I didn't do or wasn't compatible in? No not really. I guess on some level I'd rather not know. The fact is we're done, I don't need to be dragged through therapy again to get over my insecurities again. It just sucks because I was in such an insanely happy place before him and now I have those same feelings of rejection again,that I'm not worth it, that I'm totally and utterly flawed. I feel like I'm ready to share my life and experiences with somebody now but there's nobody who wants me. I'm well traveled, well cultured, healthy, have a good job...nothing seems to be enough though. Link to comment
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