SadSadgirl Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a predicament and I really don't know what to do. Here is some background info -I got out of a short term relationship 2 months ago -I'm still hurt by it but I don't talk to my ex and I don't want him back When my ex broke up with me, he went with someone else 2 weeks later. This destroyed me but I know he's just using her as a rebound since he told me "Shes filling a void in my life" and he didn't think twice about her before she told him that she liked him. They're rushing super super fast, said i love you on the first day and he's saying she's the one, blahblah. Once I found out he was dating her I went NC. Blocked on everything aswell. Here's my problem, even though I don't want my ex back sometimes I still get upset since our relationship had potential. Basically he left when the honeymoon phase wore off saying he doesn't wanna commit, he has a history of doing this so I know he's going to do this to his new girl. I have a guy friend who's been really supportive and patient with me and checks up on me everyday. I'm pretty sure I'm developing feelings for him because I think about him a lot and he's super super sweet and nice and takes care of himself. I genuinely like him and want to potentially have a relationship with him. I don't know if I should wait to tell him how I feel since I have this baggage. He told me he's always here for me and he cant wait until I'm better again. I feel like he would really help me get over the hurt my ex has caused. I really don't know if he likes me back but I have a feeling he does since he's always checking up on me, talking to me for hours about random things and stuff like that. Tl;dr - I'm hurt by my ex, I like someone else but don't know if I should act on it now or wait. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 So wait, you believe your ex jumped into a rebound (to fill a void, to make himself feel better), but you're thinking about doing the same thing? Nope, it's not "different". You're hurting and this guy friend is soothing your hurt. That is the definition of "rebound" right there. You even admit you want him to help you get over the hurt! Yes, maybe you don't have a "history" of doing this like your ex does, but you don't want to start building one. If you think what your ex is doing isn't right, it doesn't make sense to do the same thing. Because once you're over the hurt, this guy friend won't look as shiny as he does now while you ARE hurting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Does your friend want to date you? Does he know you broke up with this guy? Ask him out, see how he reacts. I have a guy friend who's been really supportive and patient with me and checks up on me everyday. I genuinely like him and want to potentially have a relationship with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Slow down! This guy is a rebound. You are still hurting and it's a bad idea to jump right into another relationship so soon. It's one thing to be friends, another to become a couple. Take some time to adjust to your new situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 You wouldn't be upset about what ex is up to if you weren't still in contact with him to find out about it. Given that you're still in contact with your ex, you may have less choice in the matter of who you date next. There aren't a lot of people who'd be interested in pursuing a relationship with someone who's still in touch with an ex in any way, shape or form beyond shared children. So I'd finish my old business before trying to move onto new business. That's speaking only for myself. We can't control exe's or anyone else, but we can unplug from them and put our focus on our own paper. THEN we're positioned to make our own choices based on what's relevant to ourselves, not to compete with an ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 Agree. 'ex in the picture' or 'ex is my friend' or 'hangs out with ex' are all red flags in the dating world if you ever want to seriously date anyone. It's like playing tennis with one shoe. A real disadvantage.Given that you're still in contact with your ex, you may have less choice in the matter of who you date next. There aren't a lot of people who'd be interested in pursuing a relationship with someone who's still in touch with an ex in any way, shape or form beyond shared children Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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