Toffee1878 Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Basically I’ve spoke to a girl for 3 months 24/7 and we both agreed to wait till she’s ready because she’s just came out of a 5 year relationship about 5/6 months ago but last week I tried to force it and was asking her to go out when I shouldn’t because I knew she wasnt ready yet and this lead to an arguement and now she said she doesn’t want to speak as much anymore because she said I came on too strong and needy trying to force it, I have spoke to her a few times since and she did say I just needed to let her chill for a bit but it just isn’t the same and she’s ignored me a few times too, should I give her a break and not message her for a week? And then see how it is from there, I really don’t want to lose this girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsolo Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 "...should I give her a break and not message her for a week?" How about giving her a break by not messaging her again until you've heard from her. If you message her again beforehand, you're going to come off as overpursuing, and she's going to feel like she can have you whenever, that you're not a challenge and have nothing better to do than to think about her, etc. I highly recommend being silent until she reaches out. If she's really attracted to you at all, she'll get curious and start wondering about you, and then she'll contact you. If not, then you will hopefully have moved on to another woman anyway, so it won't matter. Focusing so much on this one is going to hurt your chances. Yes, it may be a nail biter for you, but if you don't wait for her to contact you, it will fall apart fast. This comes from personal experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee1878 Posted April 7, 2017 Author Share Posted April 7, 2017 Thanks for the advice, it happened once before back in February she didn't want to talk to me anymore for about 4/5 days and then randomly messaged me out the blue, just hope it's not different this time and she messages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShatteredMan Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 She's basically telling you that she's not in a position to move on yet. You probably came on too strong because you're letting your emotions dictate your behavior. Don't message her for about two weeks. When you do message her, don't make it about "Hey! Just want to see if you've reconsidered going out with me....?" It may take her some more time (months) to deal with this. By pushing yourself into her life at this point in her grief cycle, you are BEGGING TO BE A REBOUND!!!!! Don't do this! In the meantime, stop talking with her and focus on yourself. Start improving yourself in new ways that would attract other women to you (ie. gym, professional development, cooking, learning an instrument, wine classes, whatever....). In doing so, you will attract women that might take your focus off the FANTASY of having a relationship with her. If and when she comes around, you will have other options which will allow you to cool down your needy behavior (that she's obviously seeing and not impressed by). Definitely start pursuing other women. I know your brain says that this is the girl of your dreams, but don't put her on a pedestal just yet! It would be a stronger tactic to make yourself better, more attractive (as mentioned above) so that when she is ready, she will pursue YOU! But you've got to let her go for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee1878 Posted April 7, 2017 Author Share Posted April 7, 2017 Thanks for the advice, it's happened before with her not talking to me then got in touch about 4/5 days, I'm not going to message her for a while now it's tough to take but I'm going to have to accept it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 If "she" refuses to meet you "she" is either catfishing, scamming, in a relationship, just looking for attention, not who/what "she" claims or a run of the mill time waster. You did the right thing calling "her" bluff and the fact that "she" staged an argument proves "she's" hiding something and isn't who "she" says "she" is. Block and delete "her" for good so you can move forward from this weirdo.Basically I’ve spoke to a girl for 3 months 24/7. I tried to force it and was asking her to go out when I shouldn’t because I knew she wasnt ready yet and this lead to an arguement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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