Birthday

[anicole]

My husband and I have been married for 3 years, together for 6 years. My birthday was on Monday I also had a little stomach virus.

 

We went to eat out during the day and he purchases me a dress from wal-mart under 20$. I'm like wow that's it, I felt like he could of done more besides treating it like it was just a regular day.

 

Today is Wednesday and I told him how I felt about it, and he says he will do better next time. I don't want to blow things out of portion. If you love someone you would do your best to make feel special especially on their birthday.

 

I told him I doubt how he feels about me, I'm more of an action type of woman.

 

I know he's not into birthdays, but if you love me like how you say you do. Why not go all out.

 

Do you think I'm being petty about it?

[Heavy]

Maybe he has things on his mind as well?? Yes a little more thought could have gone into it but by the way he answered I would say I'm on the money with my answer.

 

Men have a harder time expressing themselves when thing stress them out, has there been a change in him of late?

[anicole]

Maybe he has things on his mind as well?? Yes a little more thought could have gone into it but by the way he answered I would say I'm on the money with my answer.

 

Men have a harder time expressing themselves when thing stress them out, has there been a change in him of late?

No change at all

[Wiseman2]

What would have been the ideal scenario?

We went to eat out during the day and he purchases me a dress from wal-mart under 20$. I'm like wow that's it

[anicole]

What would have been the ideal scenario?

I just expected more anything else besides the original.

[JaggerJim]

Do you mean like a suprize birthday party?

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he spent time with you and treated you to lunch and a gift.

 

Take this quiz your Love Language

 

And read this book: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

I just expected more anything else besides the original.

[anicole]

Do you mean like a suprize birthday party?

Haha I'm 33 no surprise partied but maybe a cake, jewelry. What about a dress that I wanted?

[anicole]

It sounds like he spent time with you and treated you to lunch and a gift.

 

Take this quiz your Love Language

 

And read this book: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

He takes me eat out on Sundays after church, prior to my birthday he was talking about how he wanted to do something special for me, so I just kept looking for more and nothing happened.

[vesper]

Haha I'm 33 no surprise partied but maybe a cake, jewelry. What about a dress that I wanted?

 

You should cherish your husband and the fact that he did something at least for your birthday, he could have done nothing at all. Please stop being so needy and ungrateful.

[anicole]

You should cherish your husband and the fact that he did something at least for your birthday, he could have done nothing at all. Please stop being so needy and ungrateful.

Im not being needy at all, no one knows how it feels unless you are in the situation. 1 time in the year I would like to feel special, can I get that.

[vesper]

Im not being needy at all, no one knows how it feels unless you are in the situation. 1 time in the year I would like to feel special, can I get that.

 

Have you tried talking to him and just expressing what you want out of this birthday situation?

[anicole]

It sounds like he spent time with you and treated you to lunch and a gift.

 

Take this quiz your Love Language

 

And read this book: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

I've heard about it, I will look into it. I just felt it was effortless and thoughtless.

[Wiseman2]

Not everyone wants a lot of fanfare. Read the book, take the quiz above. Personally going out to eat and a gift and a day together would be ok with me.

 

What type of stuff do you do for his birthday? Does he like a big tadoo with a lot of gifts etc?

I know he's not into birthdays, but if you love me like how you say you do. Why not go all out.

[anicole]

Not everyone wants a lot of fanfare. Read the book, take the quiz above. Personally going out to eat and a gift and a day together would be ok with me.

 

What type of stuff do you do for his birthday? Does he like a big tadoo with a lot of gifts etc?

To most men it would be ok, what would your significant other want?

[Wiseman2]

You can't always get what you want

To most men it would be ok, what would your significant other want?

 

]

[mustlovedogs]

You're 33. At some point, birthdays don't matter much. You say you want more but can't specify what it is. You also say you know that's not how he communicates his love (he's not big on birthdays). So what did you expect? Had you given him any indication to do more than you admittedly expected?

[melancholy123]

Had he done better or gotten you more on previous birthdays?

 

If you plan to call him out on it be careful what you say so you dont come across as greedy and ungrateful.

[abitbroken]

 

I know he's not into birthdays, but if you love me like how you say you do. Why not go all out.

 

Do you think I'm being petty about it?

 

YES you are being more Petty than Tom Petty.

You were sick on top of it. He took you out to dinner and bought you a dress.

Maybe your illness made you crabby and you are looking at it through that lens.

 

My guy asks me what i want to do on my birthday and i tell him something inexpensive and modest that i would like to do with the focus on spending time together. My family used to go all out on birthdays - whole family at a restaurant, gifts, the whole thing. Maybe a day trip. My guy's family - birthdays were nothing. No party unless you are 5. Maybe your parents handed you something - a card, a small gift. But that's it.

 

So focus on the love and support he gives you throughout the year and don't expect him to give you a diamond necklace or a marching band

[abitbroken]

Im not being needy at all, no one knows how it feels unless you are in the situation. 1 time in the year I would like to feel special, can I get that.

 

You can sour a good relationship if you act like a petulant child because you didn't get your birthday pony. Keep that in mind.

[Matt3939]

Years ago I planned a day out hotel and dinner for her bday. She threw a fit about the restaurant. We found someplace else would have been glad to do so. The way she put it out there turned me off. I never forgot it. Dating one girl Christmas I got her gifts she made the comment I did good. Then showed them off to her sisters like they were some sort of prize. Another turn off. All that stuff is material I much rather just spend time.

[abitbroken]

Haha I'm 33 no surprise partied but maybe a cake, jewelry. What about a dress that I wanted?

 

Then before your next birthday say "honey, i would love it if you made me a birthday cake". That's a reasonable request. Don't tell him what he did 'wrong' this time. Because he didn't do anything wrong, actually

[HeartGoesOn]

Do you think I'm being petty about it?

 

Yes. It's the thought, not the cost that counts.

 

No offense, but you're acting like a spoiled child.

[j.man]

He treated you to a meal out and a small gift. And the problem here is... ?

 

You never really answered Wiseman's question when he asked what you do for him on his birthday. It's one thing if you're buying him decent Movado watches for his birthdays and he's treating you to a $20 dress from Target. It's a complete other thing if things are more or less equitable and he's giving you a meal and a gift, even if not expensive.

[superfan]

You: My husband didn't do enough for me on my birthday.

 

Enotalone: What would you have liked him to do?

 

You: I don't know...more?

 

See the problem here? Even you aren't sure what you wanted just that you weren't happy with what he did. If you want something different you need to tell him specifically what you want, otherwise how will he know?

 

As for what he did do, it sounds like he did his best to be thoughtful. He took you out to eat and bought you a gift. The fact that you mentioned the monetary value of the gift makes you look a bit selfish.