What Do I Talk About?

[WombatShadow]

Here's the gist: I'm going to be seeing my ex in person at least once in the next two weeks, possibly as many as three times. Two of those possible times (and the definite time) will be in a group setting, but we may also be going for ice cream, just the two of us. I freely admit that I want to get back with him someday, but I also understand that it's not going to happen immediately (he left me, after all, and he just isn't able to be in a relationship at the moment), if indeed it ever happens at all. This/these meetings are going to be just as friends (we've been very close for a lot of years).

 

My question is: what topics are to be avoided? I've never had an ex before now, so I've never had to deal with chatting up an ex. Do I ask about work? His family? What he's been up to with all of his recent free time? Is that getting too personal? I doubt I should mention my pathetic date from a few weeks ago, but again I'm not sure. I've talked to my other friends about it, but I somehow don't think that's an appropriate conversation for someone I oneday hope to reconcile with.

 

Also along the lines of reconciliation...how do I show him I've started to change back into the person I was at the begin of our relationship? I don't want to seem like a braggart about everything I've been up to (which is, admittedly, a lot), and I know I've already begun to show him some of that change by not barraging him with texts on the daily and not clinging.

 

Basically...can somebody give me some tips as to how to act (and how not to act) around him?

[JaggerJim]

How do you know you will be eating ice cream together? Did you suggest that?

[Wiseman2]

Don't make it a job interview where you try to impress him with your changes or ask him how he spends his free time to fish for info, etc.. It's clear you have an agenda to get him back but isn't he viewing this as friends?

[JaggerJim]

Well Tip 1 - Don't do this ]

[WombatShadow]

Don't make it a job interview where you try to impress him with your changes or ask him how he spends his free time to fish for info, etc.. It's clear you have an agenda to get him back but isn't he viewing this as friends?

 

I'm trying to hit this for now as friends and see if I can rebuild our spark. That's how we started out in the first place. Eventually I'm going to slip into chase mode (probably in the summer once his work/my extracurriculars slow down), but for now I just want to make sure that we can still be friends. It's just an awkward transition for going from talking about everything quite freely for so long to having to watch my words with him.

[WombatShadow]

Well Tip 1 - Don't do this ]

 

I already do quite enough of that in my own spare time

 

To answer your previous question, he mentioned a couple of weeks ago that he'd like to do something around his birthday together. I figure that ice cream is pretty lowkey.