jnr586 Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 I recently met a guy online who seems great. Dating has been tough these days, so meeting someone promising is really exciting. He fulfills all the criteria in a guy I'm looking for (for whatever that is worth!), and he also seems interested in me. I've also done some extensive online research (I can't help myself, sorry), and he appears to be the kind of guy I have been searching for. We have tentative plans to meet on Friday. I am very excited about meeting him, although I know that there's a slew of things that could send this off course or -even yet- I know we may have zero chemistry when we meet. How cool should I play it the next few days? Any advice for first meeting him? Thanks Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Excellent. Don't over-text and save stuff for the in person meeting. Meet in public, have normal small talk conversation, dress nicely, offer to pay your half and do not drag it out. How cool should I play it the next few days? Any advice for first meeting him? Link to comment
ManyDates Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Realize that the guy you have built up in your head will not be the guy you meet on Friday. Digest that. Link to comment
j.man Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Drink a lot of Gatorade to quench your thirst before you go on the date. Just don't expect anything. You should be playing it completely cool over the next few days. You have a date lined up. That's really all you two need to be discussing in the meantime. Save it for when you meet. Link to comment
littleL_RN Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Excellent. Don't over-text and save stuff for the in person meeting. Meet in public, have normal small talk conversation, dress nicely, offer to pay your half and do not drag it out. Agree with all of this. Conversation tends to happen organically, but my only extra advice is to show (controlled) enthusiasm for learning about your date. When first meeting, there is nothing worse than shooting off a bunch of questions to someone who answers candidly and doesn't reciprocate any interest. It tends to provide ample awkward silences and feels like pulling teeth. Link to comment
jnr586 Posted April 8, 2017 Author Share Posted April 8, 2017 Thanks all for this insight. The first date happened- it went OK. I definitely liked him but couldn't tell if he was interested. I think in hindsight I was more nervous than I realized. We had a short dinner and he seemed ready to go- no lingering or anything else. I thought that may be it, but then he texted me a few minutes after we parted to say he enjoyed meeting me and he liked the restaurant (I picked it out). Good sign? Too soon to tell? Just play it cool? Link to comment
j.man Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 "Agreed! Let's do it again." And, really, as I developed my dating game, I learned it's better not to linger on the first couple dates. You give each other a chance to savor it while still saving some of the magic for later dates. Don't think too much about keeping the date to what you two actually agreed on doing. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 Realize that the guy you have built up in your head will not be the guy you meet on Friday. Digest that. How do you know? There's a difference between "won't be" and "may not be". Digest that. Link to comment
Person1001 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 I recently met a guy online who seems great. Dating has been tough these days, so meeting someone promising is really exciting. He fulfills all the criteria in a guy I'm looking for (for whatever that is worth!), and he also seems interested in me. I've also done some extensive online research (I can't help myself, sorry), and he appears to be the kind of guy I have been searching for. We have tentative plans to meet on Friday. I am very excited about meeting him, although I know that there's a slew of things that could send this off course or -even yet- I know we may have zero chemistry when we meet. How cool should I play it the next few days? Any advice for first meeting him? Thanks Biggest suggestion: protect your heart, think with your head. I am speaking from personal experience, until you get you know the guy, do not get overly excited, else there will be big disappointment waiting on the other side. I thought that about a guy I met a couple weeks ago, he ended up lying to me and jerking me around. Not saying this guy will do, but if you protect yourself, you can avoid that kind of drama. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 All of these. Did you text back that you had a nice time?Good sign? Too soon to tell? Just play it cool? Link to comment
jnr586 Posted April 8, 2017 Author Share Posted April 8, 2017 Yes just a simple reply saying I enjoyed meeting him too. He didn't reply, which is fine. I prefer that to overeager guys. I'm paranoid about getting brushed off (second dates in the gay dating world seem to be unusual), but I'll reach out tomorrow and hopefully schedule the second date. Or be brushed off and move on Link to comment
ManyDates Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 How do you know? There's a difference between "won't be" and "may not be". Digest that. You need to learn how to listen and take advice. Stubborn old beta that can't score.... Link to comment
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