Boyfriend wants me to stop my medication because of SEX!

[itsbannapple]

Okay so me and my boyfriend are both 22 years old. We both have mental health issues. I have major depression, anxiety, ocd, and ptsd. 7 months ago I started this medication called Lamictal. It's a mood stabilizer used for Bipolar Disorder. However I wasn't diagnosed as Bipolar I take it for symptoms of it such as anger, irritability, mood swings, etc. I started taking it in the beginning of my relationship with him because my feelings were so intense when it came to him and he always called me crazy and told me to start medication. I know that sounds so ridiculous now that I'm reading that while typing it out. I would react very strongly and get mad or upset super easily. When I look back now, I reacted that way because of this behaviors. (lying, cheating, sneaking around, verbal insults, etc) so I had every right to act the way I did. To him though, It was "out of control". So I began taking the med. Anyway, flash forward to now.. 11 months into our relationship and 7 months later on Lamictal.. our relationship has changed a lot. My intense feelings have subsided. I can't tell if it has been because of the medication or just because our relationship has grew and my "first love/first relationship ever" crazy emotions have died down. He is my first boyfriend so I also knew that I was super stressed and confused during those first few months of the relationship. I felt as though I didn't know what I was doing because I never have been with anyone before. He had girlfriends in the past/other sexual partners and I never had anybody I was ever with before, so that added to my "craziness" because I always felt like I was competing with them and I constantly felt insecure which brought out my anger and frustration. Sometimes I don't think I ever needed the medication. I think it was just the environmental events that were happening in the relationship that caused me to act out.

 

Anyway, I am on the Depo Provera birth control shot. While taking my Lamictal, I can still get pregnant if he were to ejaculate inside me. The meds makes the birth control less effective. He has only ejaculated in me before I ever started the medication, but since I have been on it no way has he done it. He has been asking a lot lately if I could go off my meds so he can start doing it again. I see it as very selfish. He should be the type of boyfriend who would care about my mental health before sex and tell me to stay on them. I am actually considering doing this... I know I should do what is right but I don't want him to be so disappointment and upset. He won't let this topic go. Whenever we have sex he always tells me he is going to/or wants to finish inside of me. I always tell him "No. I will get pregnant, you know this." but his response is always "You're not gonna get pregnant." He still pulls out though.

 

I have thought to myself though how I don't want to be on this medication. Having nothing to do with his reasons why he wants me off it, I just want to deal with my anger by myself with no pills at all. I actively go to the gym and have been losing weight, which exercise is the best medication for me. It gets rid of all my stress so I'm thinking if I tapered myself off Lamictal maybe I would be okay. Like I said our relationship is different now and he doesn't behave like he used to (as much) so I'm not as strongly responsive to things anymore. (but I also can't tell if it was because the medication was working or if it was the change in dynamic of the relationship).

 

Advice please!!

[Wiseman2]

Listen to your doctors and tell him to wear condoms for protection from stds and pregnancy. Learn more about your medications and bc from your doctors and reading up for information. You both sound horribly misinformed about that.

 

Sorry, he sounds like a jerk. You should rather end it than jeopardize your physical or mental health. Tell him to go to hookers for what he's asking.

7 months ago I started this medication called Lamictal. It's a mood stabilizer used for Bipolar Disorder. I take it for symptoms of it such as anger, irritability, mood swings, etc. I am on the Depo Provera birth control shot. He has been asking a lot lately if I could go off my meds so he can start doing it again.

[yatsue]

Concerning birth control, there are many other alternatives that can solve his issue (which honestly sounds stupid). How about an IUD?

 

Besides that, it seems there are issues at hand here you should be more concerned with. The lying, cheating etc doesn't just go away. He has shown his true nature from the beginning. You should believe a person is this way when they show you the first time. It won't be his last.

[Seraphim]

Your bf is no dr. He sounds like a jerk, yes. Taking someone off stabilizing medications that he wanted them on in the first place so he can get off? Yeah, no. There are words for him, none I can use here.

 

He needs to go.

[j.man]

Troubling any way you slice it, but I'd be a little more understanding if he were asking you to explore other prescription options rather than asking you (much less nagging / pressuring you) to simply stop a medication. It is in fact incredibly selfish and detrimental to your health, not to mention any goals you may have should you end up pregnant.

 

It ultimately boils down to flagrant disrespect if not a complete subversion of your own say in your own mental and sexual health. I don't see how you could consider someone like that a partner.

[Scoe141]

Mental health trumps sex all day long. If he wants a relationship then he needs to be supportive and making sure you feel the best (not physically.) I feel the sex is an added bonus.

 

I've always believed how a person acts during a time of crisis or a trial in life says a lot about their character. If he doesn't want to understand, then there are plenty of other guys who will be more sensitive to your needs.

 

Good luck.

[Scoe141]

It ultimately boils down to flagrant disrespect if not a complete subversion for your own say in your own mental and sexual health. I don't see how you could consider someone like that a partner.

 

Exactly what j.man said.

[Seraphim]

Also just stopping mental health medications is extremely dangerous . A person can become homicidal or suicidal I have seen that firsthand . Never never never never never never do that , like EVER.

[faraday]

Okay so me and my boyfriend are both 22 years old. We both have mental health issues. I have major depression, anxiety, ocd, and ptsd. 7 months ago I started this medication called Lamictal. It's a mood stabilizer used for Bipolar Disorder. However I wasn't diagnosed as Bipolar I take it for symptoms of it such as anger, irritability, mood swings, etc. I started taking it in the beginning of my relationship with him because my feelings were so intense when it came to him and he always called me crazy and told me to start medication. I know that sounds so ridiculous now that I'm reading that while typing it out. I would react very strongly and get mad or upset super easily. When I look back now, I reacted that way because of this behaviors. (lying, cheating, sneaking around, verbal insults, etc) so I had every right to act the way I did. To him though, It was "out of control". So I began taking the med. Anyway, flash forward to now.. 11 months into our relationship and 7 months later on Lamictal.. our relationship has changed a lot. My intense feelings have subsided. I can't tell if it has been because of the medication or just because our relationship has grew and my "first love/first relationship ever" crazy emotions have died down. He is my first boyfriend so I also knew that I was super stressed and confused during those first few months of the relationship. I felt as though I didn't know what I was doing because I never have been with anyone before. He had girlfriends in the past/other sexual partners and I never had anybody I was ever with before, so that added to my "craziness" because I always felt like I was competing with them and I constantly felt insecure which brought out my anger and frustration. Sometimes I don't think I ever needed the medication. I think it was just the environmental events that were happening in the relationship that caused me to act out.

 

Anyway, I am on the Depo Provera birth control shot. While taking my Lamictal, I can still get pregnant if he were to ejaculate inside me. The meds makes the birth control less effective. He has only ejaculated in me before I ever started the medication, but since I have been on it no way has he done it. He has been asking a lot lately if I could go off my meds so he can start doing it again. I see it as very selfish. He should be the type of boyfriend who would care about my mental health before sex and tell me to stay on them. I am actually considering doing this... I know I should do what is right but I don't want him to be so disappointment and upset. He won't let this topic go. Whenever we have sex he always tells me he is going to/or wants to finish inside of me. I always tell him "No. I will get pregnant, you know this." but his response is always "You're not gonna get pregnant." He still pulls out though.

 

I have thought to myself though how I don't want to be on this medication. Having nothing to do with his reasons why he wants me off it, I just want to deal with my anger by myself with no pills at all. I actively go to the gym and have been losing weight, which exercise is the best medication for me. It gets rid of all my stress so I'm thinking if I tapered myself off Lamictal maybe I would be okay. Like I said our relationship is different now and he doesn't behave like he used to (as much) so I'm not as strongly responsive to things anymore. (but I also can't tell if it was because the medication was working or if it was the change in dynamic of the relationship).

 

Advice please!!

 

He sounds horrible. Why are you with him?

[KMO7970]

Hon, per your other thread, this guy is a complete d**k and this thread only reinforces that. I know that just up and leaving someone is easier said than done, but your health and well being needs to come FIRST AND FOREMOST. This guy seems to do nothing positive for you. Please take care of YOU.

[lostandhurt]

I would say the thing you need to stop is seeing him. Dump this guy, heal from this bad relationship and then explore getting off the meds with your doctor.

 

You can do way better than this guy and you really don't know what a healthy relationship is like. Have you ever considered dumping him? Do you think he is the best you can find?

 

Lost

[Rezie]

Why are you on birthcontrol if you can't trust it? I'm just trying to understand why you take extra hormones for no reason. You should talk with your doctor about birth control options. Also he can use a condom since pulling out is not a birth control method.

 

He sounds like a jerk. Your well being is the most important thing. And also uo him significantly more important than ejaculating in you. Also the willingness to risk is just shows inconsideration as does his behaviour in general. You deserve better.

 

If you want to get off your meds you should do it in your doctors supervision. Discuss your goals and treatment plans. And do it for you. Ignore him. He is an idiot.

[boltnrun]

So you're worried he will cheat on you, he already DID cheat on you, he refuses to use condoms and he wants you to stop your medication so he can stop pulling out.

 

And why again do you say you love this guy?

 

If I recall from your other thread, you stay with him because you've known him for years and you love him. But WHY???

[JaggerJim]

Hon, per your other thread, this guy is a complete d**k and this thread only reinforces that. I know that just up and leaving someone is easier said than done, but your health and well being needs to come FIRST AND FOREMOST. This guy seems to do nothing positive for you. Please take care of YOU.

 

Completely agree. As per your other thread, you have a long way to go in the area of men and relationships.

[Unreasonable]

Respectfully, if someone put you on Lamictal, you probably need it, and they certainly know better than your boyfriend. It is not just for bipolar disorder.

[Hollyj]

Good God! Get rid of the boyfriend!

 

He does not give a sh@t about you, plus he is not trustworthy!!!!!!

 

You should be using condoms!!!!!! You know that this relationship is bad and unhealthy; otherwise, you would not continue to post here. Why do you allow yourself to be so disrespected?

[Birdie]

If you continue along like this you will end up bringing a child into this situation. Do you think he'll support you through that? Based off what you've said here I sure don't.

 

This is not a healthy relationship.

[Pretzel]

I agree with everyone's views on this guy unfortunately, he hasn't come off looking like much of a hero. No man should pressure you like that, he's essentially asking you to make decisions for YOUR body. And remember it is YOURS. I think you should tell him to p--- off and see how he handles that.

 

Your med combination seems a separate issue. I wouldn't overthink your moods as being a direct side effect or your relationship. Lamictal isn't something you can just get over the counter, it's a serious medication you wouldn't have been prescribed unless needed, so you should really discuss any concerns with your dr / psychiatrist if you're having doubts. As I understand it, with most mood stabilizing meds, it can be dangerous to come off them cold-turkey.

[Capricorn3]

Between your previous thread and this one ... I'm still trying to get my head around WHY on earth you are with this guy. Seriously, it boggles the mind.

[itsbannapple]

Why are you on birthcontrol if you can't trust it? I'm just trying to understand why you take extra hormones for no reason. You should talk with your doctor about birth control options. Also he can use a condom since pulling out is not a birth control method.

 

He sounds like a jerk. Your well being is the most important thing. And also uo him significantly more important than ejaculating in you. Also the willingness to risk is just shows inconsideration as does his behaviour in general. You deserve better.

 

If you want to get off your meds you should do it in your doctors supervision. Discuss your goals and treatment plans. And do it for you. Ignore him. He is an idiot.

 

I continue to take the birth control because it gets rid of my menstrual cycle.

[vesper]

I was on Lamictal for a year and eventually came off of it. My doctor replaced it with an anti-depressant.

 

 

 

Okay so me and my boyfriend are both 22 years old. We both have mental health issues. I have major depression, anxiety, ocd, and ptsd. 7 months ago I started this medication called Lamictal. It's a mood stabilizer used for Bipolar Disorder. However I wasn't diagnosed as Bipolar I take it for symptoms of it such as anger, irritability, mood swings, etc. I started taking it in the beginning of my relationship with him because my feelings were so intense when it came to him and he always called me crazy and told me to start medication. I know that sounds so ridiculous now that I'm reading that while typing it out. I would react very strongly and get mad or upset super easily. When I look back now, I reacted that way because of this behaviors. (lying, cheating, sneaking around, verbal insults, etc) so I had every right to act the way I did. To him though, It was "out of control". So I began taking the med. Anyway, flash forward to now.. 11 months into our relationship and 7 months later on Lamictal.. our relationship has changed a lot. My intense feelings have subsided. I can't tell if it has been because of the medication or just because our relationship has grew and my "first love/first relationship ever" crazy emotions have died down. He is my first boyfriend so I also knew that I was super stressed and confused during those first few months of the relationship. I felt as though I didn't know what I was doing because I never have been with anyone before. He had girlfriends in the past/other sexual partners and I never had anybody I was ever with before, so that added to my "craziness" because I always felt like I was competing with them and I constantly felt insecure which brought out my anger and frustration. Sometimes I don't think I ever needed the medication. I think it was just the environmental events that were happening in the relationship that caused me to act out.

 

Anyway, I am on the Depo Provera birth control shot. While taking my Lamictal, I can still get pregnant if he were to ejaculate inside me. The meds makes the birth control less effective. He has only ejaculated in me before I ever started the medication, but since I have been on it no way has he done it. He has been asking a lot lately if I could go off my meds so he can start doing it again. I see it as very selfish. He should be the type of boyfriend who would care about my mental health before sex and tell me to stay on them. I am actually considering doing this... I know I should do what is right but I don't want him to be so disappointment and upset. He won't let this topic go. Whenever we have sex he always tells me he is going to/or wants to finish inside of me. I always tell him "No. I will get pregnant, you know this." but his response is always "You're not gonna get pregnant." He still pulls out though.

 

I have thought to myself though how I don't want to be on this medication. Having nothing to do with his reasons why he wants me off it, I just want to deal with my anger by myself with no pills at all. I actively go to the gym and have been losing weight, which exercise is the best medication for me. It gets rid of all my stress so I'm thinking if I tapered myself off Lamictal maybe I would be okay. Like I said our relationship is different now and he doesn't behave like he used to (as much) so I'm not as strongly responsive to things anymore. (but I also can't tell if it was because the medication was working or if it was the change in dynamic of the relationship).

 

Advice please!!

[jbmp1390]

I get that he's your first real relationship and how important that feels when you're young and first getting in to that. But at this point, you need to kick him to the curb. He's a loser is all I can say, I'd like to call him some other things but I didn't realize certain language wasn't allowed here, so I apologize if I used any words I shouldn't have in other replies. Anyway, you are NOT CRAZY hun. I deal with the same mental issues you do but that doesn't mean it makes us crazy. The reason you felt that way is because your bf is very obviously a manipulative jerk. You have every right to be upset with how he's acted throughout your entire relationship. He's a real piece of work, not even close to a real man. Please break up with him, at the very least stop having sex with him. I'm SO SORRY that you had to start your sex life out with such a selfish jerk. You deserve and can easily find something SO MUCH BETTER, in terms of sex and the relationship itself. There is nothing wrong with you. You sound wonderful just the way you are and incredibly sweet. You deserve a guy to treat you right, to care for you genuinely, be there for you when you're having difficulty with your mental stuff or other things, support you, listen to you, respect you, treat you as his priority and who actually cares about pleasing you rather than just himself, both when it comes to sex and all the other aspects of a relationship. You can absolutely find a better guy than this who will actually be grateful to be with you. A man who doesn't understand the gift you are giving him by being in a meaningful relationship with him, and especially giving him the greatest gift a woman can give a man, the privilege of being intimate with you, any guy who doesn't understand how much those things mean is not worth your time. You've been with this idiot long enough. Now it's time to move on, kick him to the curb with extreme prejudice, and start looking for a guy that will treat you right in all ways. You sound like such a fantastic young woman and believe me, there are plenty of guys out there that will actually want to be in a true, meaningful relationship with you and will treat you how you deserve to be treated because they actually care, respect and appreciate you giving them the chance to be with such a great girl as you. Please get rid of this guy. You deserve so much more.

 

And please don't suddenly stop your medication, especially not for such a shallow, inconsiderate, callous and selfish reason, and from a guy that doesn't even deserve the gift of your body let alone to even be with you at all. As I said before, I deal with the same issues you do and have for a long time. I tried many medications, none of which ever helped much, and I didn't want to stay on them either. But I made sure I worked with my doctor and got off them the proper way by weaning down so as to not possibly but yourself in a negative spiral. That was a decade ago. Ever since then I've used no pharmaceuticals for my issues The only thing I use is medicinal Cannabis and for me, and plenty of others I've known, it works so much better than anything else. Perhaps do some research in to that. And I don't mean smoking. Some people use it in that form for the mental issues specified, but these days they have it in so many forms and very safe as well. What helped most was a compound in Cannabis known as CBD. It is non intoxicating and extremely beneficial for any conditions relating to anxiety, depression and other mental proclivities. Also excellent for chronic pain, the immune system and for health and well being in general. You can get it in capsules or pills and it's just like taking any other medication. So if you're really considering getting off the pharmaceuticals, I'd highly recommended researching CBD for yourself and considering it as a natural, and MUCH safer replacement/alternative. Regardless of what you choose to do in relation to how to deal with your mental issues moving forward, I wish you nothing but success in finding the relief you desire, I know how hard it can be to deal with these issues.

 

I wish you nothing but luck, success and most importantly true love when it comes to your romantic relationships as you continue to grow and I truly truly hope that you find a wonderful guy that will treat you how such an awesome young lady as yourself deserves.

[Capricorn3]

I continue to take the birth control because it gets rid of my menstrual cycle.

It "gets rid of your menstrual cycle" ?? What kind a birth control is this? I've never heard of this before. I don't even think that's healthy.

[Jibralta]

He wanted you on medication for his convenience, and now he wants you off medication for his convenience. Wow, he's really entitled, huh? No wonder he thinks you won't get pregnant just because he says so.

[Rezie]

It "gets rid of your menstrual cycle" ?? What kind a birth control is this? I've never heard of this before. I don't even think that's healthy.

It's quite common with birthcontrol such as IUD and the mini pill. Some sill ger their period but for many it stops. Once you stop taking it the cycle foes back to normal.